My name is Jenn and I have quite the story to tell, as I am sure we all do. To keep it brief, I will summarize my present struggles as such:
I am tired.
Tired of explaining the chronic nature of my condition. Tired of hiding- just to avoid side glances from people that believe their inward drawing at the sight of a young woman walking with a cane and wobble, is empathy. Healthy people don't know how to face their own fragility, and seeing someone so outwardly able-bodied inching through the grocery story at an almost torturous pace, makes them feel it, and they don't know where to put this emotion. They may feel that what is stirring in their gut is sympathy, when it is not. This reaction is all their own. And it's scary. Yet, they re-curl and fail to reflect. Head in the sand, while the monster that will eventually get us all, lingers in the aisle. In the form of myself.
I hide because it is impossible to articulate that all that I hope to provide with my presence in the world, is perspective.
This is not where I hope to reside, but sometimes, it is just easier not to try. I pride myself on functioning, despite my constant pain. I feel that my resistance to stagnation is the only thing that circumstance has not stolen from me. But lately, things need to be reevaluated and the white flag needs to fly.
If only just as a reprieve.
Looking forward to getting to know you all.
27 Year Old, suffering with several spinal conditions since 2007...
Spondylolisthesis grade 4, PLIF 2007 corrected to grade 2,
Nerve Damage and all of the fun that comes along with it.