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Feeling lost and lonely

Hi there,

Ive had 3 spine surgies and I'm fused from L1-L3 the last surgery was in 2011. Life has been really hard and extremely depressing at times as we all know what pain can do. I come from a big family who are very well off. I'm the youngest of 5.

About a month ago I fell on the ice while picking up my dogs poop! The fall was not bad so I didn't get it checked out right away, I felt pain but just thought it was normal but the pain was getting worse and worse so I dragged myself to the doctor last week they took an X-ray of my tailbone my doctor came back into the room and told me my tailbone is badly fractured. Mean while my family ignored my plea for help even to help me get groceries but no one called or showed up. I'm also in a relationship with an alcoholic who treats me like my family.

Yesterday, I spoke to my sister, she was telling me she was planing this trip that I have always wanted to go! To make a long story short she told me she didn't want me to go cause of my "disabilities" didn't want her trip ruined if I had to stop to take a break due to pain.

Today is a bad day

Lisa :(


  • Hi Lisa.
    I'm so terribly sorry. Coping with chronic pain is so hard already without the people we love, who are supposed to be there for us making things even worse. This site often talks about 'the blend' when it comes to dealing. I believe an essential part of that is emotional & physical support. I'm from England & live in Texas, USA. My family & friends are very supportive in Emails but other than my parents & best friend no-one has ever got on a plane to see me. Since my back problems started 7 years ago I've found it harder & harder to travel. The last couple of years 10 hours on a plane with 2 small children has been impossible so I know how lonely & depressing it can be. I can't imagine being surrounded by love ones who neglect me. I hope having this site filled with supportive people 'in the same boat' helps a little.
    They say we can choose our friends but not our family. Your relationship sounds like a very negative one that puts further strain on you. Maybe a little spring cleaning is in order..
    If you ever want to chat or just need to vent please feel free to PM me. I hope you get the medical attention you need soon. Stay strong. I know it's hard.
    Osteoarthritis & DDD.
  • I completely understand how you feel. aka my life.
    L5-S1 Herniation. 1st MIrcrodiscectomy 11/9/13. 2nd Microdiscectomy 12/19/13
  • I can empathize 100%, and I do. I fell after having a transforaminal epidural injection, and since Feb. 20, have been in constant pain. I bounced off the floor on my hip. My doctor just increases my pain med, and my family is so non compassionate, I live alone, and it is agonizing! Now I know how it feels to be totally isolated. My pain journey started in1998, while working, i fell and broke my arm....then became afflicted with RSD. It effects my left arm which is partially paralyzed. Next came the back pain. Had discectomy of L3 + L4, while "under" doc realized L4 + L5 was bad too, I also had spinal stenosis and had a laminectomy. That was in 2010. I did well for a year, then it went to .........a spinal fusion was suggested, but I was not ready to go through more procedures of any kind. I am sticking with pain management for now, but don't know how long I can last. My entire right leg and foot is on fire constantly. My back feels like there's a jello packet in there, and hurts so badly. THANK goodness for ice bags and heating pads! I never thought my family would be like this....I wish you well, I understand.....I also have an implanted spinal cord stimulator for the arm pain. Be well and hang in there!
    DINA mina
  • So sorry to hear that you are feeling this way. Perhaps there is a family member or friend that would like to take a low key vacation with you. Unfortunely , as in any situation, people who have not gone thru what you have just don't understand. That is why this site is so wonderful. Hope your weekend will be a positive one.
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