I just recently went through a very devastating realization that some people I considered very good friends and respected them greatly have had nothing but pity for me. One was stupid "because I was not married" the other was because of the pain and my overall health.. The even though when I would drop by every month or so it was to get pity from them.
Well when I found this out I went ballistic. Neither of them saw any problem with it. Even when I asked would you want to be pittied? What is worse the husband also suffers from chronic pain ( L4-L5 fusion).
I am sure they will never get it but I ran across this artical that helped and it anyone out there has run into something similar maybe it will helphttp://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/in-the-name-love/201008/do-not-pity-me
I had a psychiatrist tell me once, " Never tell anyone you have any chronic condition ( in this case depression) people will scatter like roachs. He has been right every time.