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Haveing others pity you

I just recently went through a very devastating realization that some people I considered very good friends and respected them greatly have had nothing but pity for me. One was stupid "because I was not married" the other was because of the pain and my overall health.. The even though when I would drop by every month or so it was to get pity from them.

Well when I found this out I went ballistic. Neither of them saw any problem with it. Even when I asked would you want to be pittied? What is worse the husband also suffers from chronic pain ( L4-L5 fusion).

I am sure they will never get it but I ran across this artical that helped and it anyone out there has run into something similar maybe it will help


I had a psychiatrist tell me once, " Never tell anyone you have any chronic condition ( in this case depression) people will scatter like roachs. He has been right every time.



  • Hi,
    I wouldn't want to be pitied either, and I think but I'm not for the most part. I know my friends are very sympathetic to what I am going through, which I believe they feel bad for me, but they don't pity me. At least that's how I view it. As for the comment your psychiatrist and I understand that as well. I feel that people scatter like roaches if I tell them too soon or they didn't know me before all this happened. Good luck
    2000- spinal fusion, complete spine due to scoliosis
    2012- pain began, started treatment for chronic pain
    2013- install of pain pump, procedures to address complications
    2014-blood patch, spinal fluid leak
  • SpinellieSSpinellie Posts: 20
    edited 04/01/2014 - 12:54 PM
    I don't want others to pitty me at all. I would most likely feel worse if they did pity me.
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