Overall, my husband of 10 years is a wonderful man. He is an amazing father. He tries to help in ways that he can (put in a railing after my leg went out and I fell down the stairs), and I know it is hard for him to watch me in pain. I also know that I'm stubborn, and don't ask for help as much as I should. But maybe it's the way I was raised; to be empathetic and anticipate his needs and take care of them before he asks. I know I can't fault him for that. But I'm starting to get resentful when he goes off to mixed martial arts class 3Xs a week for 2 hours a pop during put down time without realizing that some times I am crying trying to help our daughter get dressed after bath.
Can I ask the hard question? Has anyone here gotten divorced/broken up due to chronic pain issues having effects on their marriage/relationship?
I'm looking at going into 3 disc fusion, and I'm just wondering if he's going to be able to care for me, and I start questioning whether or not I'm with the right person who jokes that I complain too much about my pain (I'm really careful not to do so as much as possible in front of my 7 yr old daughter. She knows and is helpful, but I don't want to stress her out. She's currently trying to help me find a new stress word instead of a swear word.)
I know no one knows this unless they've experienced it; but how do you communicate and live with someone who doesn't understand the pain that makes you cry...for days on end? How do you stay in love with someone who has unrealistic expectations for you without sounding complainy all the time?
Thanks for listening. Any thoughts/insights/vents welcome.
DDD, L3-S1 almost gone. Waiting to hear about 3 disc fusion. Sciatica and arthritis. Life is like a box of chocolates...