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how do you stay positive?

I'm having a very difficult time staying positive through my chronic pain, along with my back conditions I've developed in the past couple months something wrong with both of my knees (I can barely walk, I see another ortho surgeon on the 24th), my hips are unbearable, I can barely move my neck and have developed carpal tunnel in both hands. Like most of you the only time I'm not in pain is the couple hours a night where I'm able to sleep. I don't look forward to waking up every morning because I know my day will be filled with pain, I'm having alot of difficult trying to stay positive I'm only 25 this is not how my life was supposed to end up. My husband wants to be supportive but you can only listen to someone cry about being in pain for so long. I just don't know what to do anymore to see the bright side of things...any advice?
(12.24.13) L2-L3 Laminectomy, Discectomy and Coflex insertion. DX'ed with Ankylosing Spondylitis on 5/13/14


  • so sorry that you have to go through this, especially since you are so young. I know there are mental health professionals that specifically see patients who are living with constant pain. Perhaps it might be helpful to seek one out in your area. I know that the specialized hospital, like the Hospital for Special Surgery in New York has one on staff. Prayers to you and your loved ones.
    Cervical Laminectomy and fusion C2 to T1 June 2012, Anterior Hip Replacement November 2012, Laminectomy, Discectomy Foriminotomy, L3 to L5, February 2014, evacuation of Hematoma April 2014.
    Cervical Myopathy, DDD, Spinal Stenosis, osteoarthritis
  • dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 9,859
    it is much easier to give in to the pain and discomfort. Then you can curl yourself into a ball, lay on a couch and just watch the days go by But who really wants that life???

    Instead, find the ways that you can be more comfortable You are young and strong. That is so much of an advantage. Many doctors say they do not want to perform surgery on younger folks. At times I can understand their reasoning.. But, when you are young and strong, you can bounce back from surgery much better than someone twice your age I rebounded too fast and too much. So at 29 I figured I could do everything and forget about the spinal surgery. That was one of my biggest mistakes.

    There is no reason to sentence yourself for life in pain and discomfort. There are so many different treatments you can have, plus even if you cant do what you did yesterday, just think about how much more you can dotomorrow!!!
    Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator
    I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
    You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com
  • i am not bragging or saying i am better, but personally i don't even think about pain and i have had it for 14-15 years. i work, keep busy, go on trips, do things with the family, visit relatives. i use a cane and can hardly walk more than 50 yards. sometimes i have to get out of the car on the way to work because of the pain but i work. instead of sitting at home or lying in bed thinking about pain, you need to get out and do things. get a hobby, visit friends and family. don't talk to them about your pain because to be truthful, no one wants to hear. i teach and i have students who go to school to get their diplomas. one girl is in a wheel chair and she is going to try to walk across the stage to get her diploma and she is only 18 but living with chronic pain. the worse thing to do is lie around and think about it and how my life is screwed up. there are people out there who are dying from cancer or other diseases and have it a lot worse than us. you need to put things into perspective . i know it is easy to say all of this but if i can do it and an 18 year old kid can do it anyone can do it. when one stops thinking about pain, it becomes easier that is why one needs to keep busy and not talk or think about it.
    I have 4 fusions from L5-3, the latest last May '12 where they fixed my disc that broke.They went through my side this time. I take 40 mg of oxycontin 4x a day and 4 fenatyl lollipops 300 micro gms 4x a day.
  • I do work full time at a bank. 42 hours a week as an assistant manager. I definately dont sit around and do nothing. But even while working, its hard for me to concentrate and do what I need to do because I am in pain. Yes you have been in pain for longer than I so perhaps you have developed a system to cope with your pain which is what im trying to get advice on how to accomplish. I have a family. Two kids (7 & 2) and a husband to try to keep me busy and keep my mind off of the pain but it always makes its way back. Im aware that there are people out there that are worse off than me, I have family members that were paralyzed at birth and struggle daily just to survive and I know they are in a worse situation and in pain but SO AM I. Its different situations but when it comes down to it both of us are young adults with chronic pain despite how we got it. I need POSITIVE feedback on how I can get myself positive and out of this depression that is surrounding me with this pain. Im only 25 I havent had the multiple years that most of you have had to sort it out and deal with it. This is new to me.

    (12.24.13) L2-L3 Laminectomy, Discectomy and Coflex insertion. DX'ed with Ankylosing Spondylitis on 5/13/14
  • terror8396tterror8396 Posts: 1,832
    edited 04/09/2014 - 7:15 AM
    i believe that getting out and keeping busy and the other ideas that i posted are positive. it is not up to me or others on this site. basically it is up to you to become positive and you asked for advice which i gave. but if you do not want to do these things or give reasons why you can't then there is nothing we can do. being positive comes from you, not me, or the moderators or anyone else on this site. you asked for ideas and i gave you some but for some reason you think that they are not positive. keeping busy with your family, working, getting hobbies to do things to keep your mind off of pain is about as positive as one can get. you asked for advice and i gave as positive advice as i could give. about the only other thing to do is sit around and think about your pain and to me that is not too positive. there are psychologist that deal with pain and depression, maybe you should make an appointment with a psychologist who deals with chronic pain and depression.
    I have 4 fusions from L5-3, the latest last May '12 where they fixed my disc that broke.They went through my side this time. I take 40 mg of oxycontin 4x a day and 4 fenatyl lollipops 300 micro gms 4x a day.
  • Well, I for one do not under estimate fresh air and sunshine, even if I have a bad day and have to stand with the back door open soaking it in. I try to walk every day, but yesterday was impossible for me (I was having a RA attack day w/fever and all along with new spinal diagnosis that was kicking my butt) Another thing I do is I love to walk (sun and fresh air again) granted not as far as I was able to walk 1 year or even 6 months ago, but I do try to get out and walk. I keep all my blinds open during the day and a window or 2 open, weather permitting (yep, sunshine and fresh air again)

    Like, Jon said above (Oh dear, we agree on something lol j/k, Jon) I don't like to discuss my pain with my family or others only my husband and daughter know the extent of how I'm really feeling and that is only when they ask me. I don't let on to others how I'm really feeling, maybe they don't even care, I don't know. I don't talk about my drs or drs in general or about medications to anyone. Of course hiding how I really feel from others may be harder the longer I live here & get to know my community. I'm sure some have seen me out walking and have wondered what is wrong, but then again, I don't really know.

    Planning a trip to OH this weekend, just between myself and us here, no, I do not feel up to it, based on my last 2 days. But I'm going, unless of course by some unseen nature I end up in the hospital or my maker has plans on meeting me before then. Another reason I still plan on going, even with this flare-up or whatever it is, is because I have an appt. Monday with my PM and boy do I need to talk to him. I feel that if I go, time will pass faster and it will be closer to my appt. by the time I get back & of course, I will be getting some OH fresh air and sunshine :-) Can you tell that I'm as advocate of fresh air and sunshine :-) ?

    And, last but not least, I come here for conversation, support and to give it to others when I can and occasionally I get to laugh at something said, or a funny story from another member. And I try so hard to keep a positive attitude, and at times that is very hard to do, especially when I'm feeling horrible but I do continue to try--I will continue to keep plodding along until my time here on this earth is done. :-)
  • Thanks Taren, I think sunshine & fresh air would do me a world of good. as soon as the awful winterish weather finally retreats from my area. I think im going to speak to my Dr. about my depression issues and see what he thinks. I dont want to be "down" all the time, thats not my personality. Im sitting here crying while I write this at work and thats not okay lol. I think i need to learn to accept my life as what it is and stop being so angry about it. Itll be a challenge... :/
    (12.24.13) L2-L3 Laminectomy, Discectomy and Coflex insertion. DX'ed with Ankylosing Spondylitis on 5/13/14
  • Even when we've been dealing with this for a long time were not immune to the darkness. I still have my battles but it passes so much faster these days. Mornings are the worst for me. I've described it as Groundhog Day, again & again & again! I'm still very much a work In progress. Aren't we all?

    After learning conclusively that chronic pain was going to be my constant companion until 'death do us part' I began to believe that depression was going to make my threesome. (Sorry, Ron's started a humor thread & my minds a little naughty today!) I wish I could share some pearls of wisdom. I'm still not exactly sure how I moved past that place. I cried & I researched & I cried some more. I hobbled through my worthless miserable life, slowly degenerating into a sobbing ghost of the happy girl I used to be. I thought those terrible thoughts that many of us know too well. I raged against myself with "this is not the way my life was supposed to end-up" fury at the injustice of it all.

    The problem is, this isn't terminal (that's not an option for me) I'm stuck with myself & this bloody pain for a very, very long time. My life hasnt "ended-up" its still going on. At the end of the day I can handle chronic pain, I just can't tolerate feeling depressed all the time! I kept thinking "I would give anything not to feel like this" but it's not true.. I wouldn't give my little kids (7 & 4), I wouldn't give my beloved husband, I wouldn't give my family but I was robbing them of the mother, wife & daughter they deserved. Chronic pain didn't take me from them, it didn't stop me being present for my life, depression did.

    For me, it was about pushing the pain into the background & Jon's suggestions are a big part of the solution. I'm obsessive & I was obsessing on my pain. I know it sounds so unhelpful to say 'get a hobby' but really, find anything new, ANYTHING to get you through this!

    You sound like there's a lot going on with you right now. Do you know medically exactly what the problems are? Have you tried all of the recommended treatments yet? I think it's so much harder to come to terms with this when you still have more questions than answers. What does your current 'blend' consist of? Are you doing physical therapy, medications, alternative treatments? What do you do when your pain flares? I have a routine for this involving creams, aromatherapy, my lovely hot water bottle that my kids have drawn funny faces on. If you're relying completely on medications that could be part of the problem. Maybe an action plan to get better control will help..

    Chronic pain psychologists can really help with practicle ways to help us cope with day to day living. Mine had many great 'tricks' to teach me. To be honest I thought all 'shrinks' we're the same but their service is very different. She was a wonderful listener but that wasn't her job. If your PM clinic has one on staff I'd highly recommend giving it a try. It must be so hard for you to sit at work all day, they can help you with that!

    I feel for you, I really do. I know this is so hard to deal with but it will get better, & worse, & better. I wish I could hand everyone here a magic bullet to take all the pain away or at least wave a wand & send all to a happy place. It's a journey that no one should have to make but we do, step by painful step. We can't give you one answer, spines are rarely like that. I hope this helped, even a tiny bit is better than nothing!
    Osteoarthritis & DDD.
  • You are very welcome, glad my advice helped or at least made you feel a bit better...You must be in the NE if the winter hasn't let up yet. Here in KY today its 60 something, 70's tomorrow w/storms though and by the weekend we will be in the 80's. I hope OH gets that memo by the time I get there lol. I got out during this winter and walked, unless it was icy, spine issues and ice don't mix unless of course you have it wrapped in a hand towel and stuck down your pants on that area that just doesn't seem to wanna let up. But, I know KY winters are nothing compared to NE winters, but it sure was cold here this winter.

    Unfortunately, depression & guilt can go right along with chronic pain. I have been there myself and I wager to bet most here have been too. Depression is nothing to be ashamed of, it happens to the best of us. Talking to your dr about this could be your first step to getting better :-) Also, anger is part of it too-you miss your old life and the way things use to be. It's like that feeling of anger we sometimes go through when someone close to us dies. Anger is part of the healing process. Don't ever be ashamed of how you are feeling in dealing with chronic pain...it has many many faces. Ron, refers to it as "The Beast" and it is a beast in every aspect of the definition!! I would provide the link to that but I don't know how to do that...if you haven't read about the beast just type it into the search bar and it will come up. Maybe someone will come along and provide the link for you. One more thing is don't be afraid to ask for help when u need it. Feel free to PM if you'd like. Take care, J
  • @English Girl, my back is a failed attempt at a laminectomy/discectomy & coflex insertion @ L2-L3 that my surgeon has just now mentioned to me that was a temporary fix to avoid permanent nerve damage and that I will need a fusion from L2-L5S1 in less than 5 years, as for my knees I have patellafemoral syndrome but due to the severity of it I have no cartilage behind my knee caps causing any movement of my knees to be bone on bone grinding (its dreadful) my knee caps practically just slid around. I go to physical therapy for this. My PCP just recently diagnosed me with carpal tunnel in both hands and soon ill be getting an EMG testing to see the severity of it. As for my hips, my surgeon thinks its a side effect from my back surgery unfortunately. My neck I have absolutely no idea whats going on there. My blend consists of. 75mcg fentanyl every 72 hrs. 2400mg gabapentin daily, 75mg topamax daily, 800mg skelaxin daily and 10mg ambien to sleep at night. I use BioFreeze on my knees and hips and neck to try to alleviate that temporarily. I go to physical therapy for my knees and ice every joint as needed. I use to take nice long hot baths pre-fentanyl days as that is no longer an option :( lol. Im considering visiting a rheumatologist to get his opinion on my conditions as my father and his mother both have severe RA. Ive had the blood test for RA which came back negative but they told me due to my age it could come back negative for a long time... so who knows.

    @Taren, yes unfortunately im in PA, its cold and miserable lol. I had frost on my windshield this morning! I think the "Beast" is getting the best of me at the moment and thats what the problem is. Im having difficulties finding a phychiatrist in my area that specializes in chronic pain but im going to speak with my PCP on the 28th and see if he has any suggestions. In the meantime, ill just get some awesome advice from my "spineys' on here :)
    (12.24.13) L2-L3 Laminectomy, Discectomy and Coflex insertion. DX'ed with Ankylosing Spondylitis on 5/13/14
  • Jesse, Talking to your dr about your depression is a positive step in the right direction. Maybe you could call and see if there is any way that you could get in sooner, maybe there's been a cancellation or something. Are you currently on anti-depressants? Are you in PM? I read back trying to see if you were, but I didn't see it. If I missed it and you u have already answered it, I apologize. Reason I ask is I was gonna say that most PM centers have a chronic pain psychologist in their office.

    If it were me, I would definitely see a rheumatologist, when I was reading all your joint symptoms it reminded me of myself. My first RA test came back negative, my pcp did the blood test, months later I was still having the symptoms only worse. Under a different pcp, I was referred to a Rheumatologist, 2 different batches of blood work came back positive. So, you see my fist one was negative as well. I also tested positive for secondary sjogrens syndrome, due to RA. RA is not hereditary, but having particular genes can increase ones chance of developing the disease. Having RA could add to your depression and definitely make pain 10X's worse, I experienced this exact same thing yesterday. I said all this to say, yes, definitely get a referral to see a Rheumatologist.
  • When I read your description about your knees, & that you are working 42 hours a week, all I could think is Holy Toledo, how are you managing that? Well, I link the answer, because I had to do it to; you do what you have to do to survive.

    But I can tell you, the stress of working full time in pain, & trying to take care of 2 young kids is not helping. Is there anyway you can have your dr write you a note to take at least a couple of weeks off, so you can let your body rest for a bit? No wonder your depressed, it's overwhelming, & you need a bit of a break.

    I highly reccomend you see a psychiatrist for some anti depressants. A psych is better than a PCP or even a pm dr, because that's all they do. Playing around with anti depressants can take awhile, you need time to see if it's working, what kind of side effects you have, & there may be dosage adjustments, but when you find the right cocktail, it can make all the difference in the world.

    Besides having every reason to be depressed, you are on a lot of meds (some I've never heard of) & that can be contributing to the problem. I'd go back through all the meds & reread all the side effects, & talk with your dr about any of the meds that could be contributing to your depression. Maybe there's some things that can be done there too.

    You mention you are on ambien, so you obviously have sleep issues (welcome to the club). I went into surgical menapause a couple of years ago & haven't had an unmedicated night of sleep since. I also went into a severe depression, & began having major panic & anxiety attacts. It was awful.

    Through biodentical hormones, anti depressants, & anti anxiety meds, I improved a lot. Until I fell at work 6 months ago & have been off work since. Then, everything started coming back. Trying to come to grips with the fact that my issues are never going to really heal, the best I can hope for is figuring out how to get my pain to a tolerable level where I can halfway function. Money, money, money. Disability is less than 1/2 of my take home salary, the disability retirement I'm trying to get is even less than that. The mom guilt. I don't need to elaborate on that, you know what I mean.

    How does one remain positive with all this? Some days, even if the pain wasn't too bad, the depression paralyzed me. I totally get what you are saying. Oh & more guilt, because if the pain isn't as bad, I should be up doing something.

    So back to your original question, how do you get out of this funk? You got some good ideas from others. Some I've done, some are not my thing. One thing I've noticed over the last couple of weeks that's got me feeling emotionally better is a new med I'm on. I used to take 3 mg of lorazepam at night to sleep. If needed, I would take a couple more mg during the day. Not every day, just if I started having major anxiety or something. It worked well to bring me down.

    Well, I switched psychs, & he doesn't like lorazepam because it's addicting. He switched me to clonazepam (sp?) & I ended up with .5 in the morning, & 1.5 at night. So I'm sleeping, & because I'm taking it in the morning I'm not getting the anxiety, panic, etc that I was before. So lorazepam is good when your in the midst of an attact, but the other stuff helps prevent it in the first place. Less anxiety has meant less depression.

    So that's my long 2 cents on meds that may help. Remember, you are not alone, we've all been there. And I don't care how "adjusted" you are to your situation, everybody has a down day now & then. The key is to get to a point where you have less down days than happy ones. You will get there. There is light at the end of the tunnel, it's a matter of finding the right tools to dig you out.
    We can't always control the cards we are dealt in life, but we can control how we play the hand
  • I agree with most of you here that say being outside will make you feel better. I live in nj and this winter has been very long, depressing, and painful. Just these past couple days where the weather has been nicer my back has started to feel better and my additude has improved significantly. Winter depression is bad enough on the east coast when your a healthy person, add back problems and a family to care for ontop of that and it makes for a cold hell storm of emotions and pain. Hopefully win the flowers blooming, the sun becoming warmer and the days longer we will start to feel normal again. I know I can't wait to take my little one to the park again!
  • @Taren
    I think I am going to schedule an appt with the rheumatologist. The guy I would be scheduling with is fantastic and spends at least 4 hours with you the 1st appt just running tests, I feel that's the best way for me to get a clear answer. I'm not currently with a PM clinic, I was but the only one in my small town only deals with injections so the PM Dr there works together with my PCP and has my PCP write my scripts so I don't have the option of using my PM clinic to find a psychologist :( I'm not currently on any anti depressants but I'm sure if I mention it at all to my PCP he would give me something right away luckily we have a really good relationship
    (12.24.13) L2-L3 Laminectomy, Discectomy and Coflex insertion. DX'ed with Ankylosing Spondylitis on 5/13/14
  • MSG: "Well, I switched psychs, & he doesn't like lorazepam because it's addicting. He switched me to clonazepam"

    MSG, both lorazepam (Ativan) and clonazepam (klonopin) are benzodiazepines. Both can be addicting. What do you mean he switched you from lorazepam to clonazepam because the lorazepam is addicting? Either can be addicting if taken long enough or improperly. Did he maybe change you because the 2 drugs work differently, as the Ativan works better for situational anxiety and leaves your body faster and the klonopin is longer lasting and stays in your system longer helping give you a calmer effect for a longer period of time without having to re-dose? I was just curious.

  • Good plan, a rheumatologist could be the dr that figures it all out for you, who knows? Yes, definitely do talk to your pcp about your depression, he could help you or refer you to a psychologist who could help you with the proper meds and give you someone to talk to...Being honest with your dr's about the way you are feeling will put you on the road to recovery and hopefully find you feeling much better in no time. I will continue to prescribe fresh air and sunshine to you ;-)
  • That's what I remember him saying, along with fact that you build a tolerance to Ativan. Your reasoning for the change make sense, because he did say something along the lines of "why not prevent anxiety if possible, rather than waiting for it to strike & than have to deal with it". He seems really supportive to people with anxiety. Regardless, I'm very happy with the change, & for people with anxiety & sleep issues, it might help others.

    My goal is to not have to take anti anxiety meds for the rest of my life. Sleep may be another issue, but I hope to get my anxiety under better control. I know that won't be for awhile though. What's causing me so much anxiety is money/job issues. Right now I'm on disability, but at some point if I don't come back, can I be fired? I'm going to try to go for a disability retirement which could take up to a year, & that's if it's approved the first time around. In the meantime, could Iose my disability? Could I be fired while going through the process? Are we going to make it financially? Because on disability I get less than half my salary, & if I retire, it will be even less. Even not having to pay daycare, lunches out, gas, etcetera it does not cover what I'm losing. I cashed in my deferred comp already. We short saled our house, & are now renting. What if we can't make the rent? We've got 6 in what is the perfect house for us for so many reasons, & the rent is amazingly reasonable. We'd end up paying more money for a smaller place if we had to move. And the list goes on.

    These are the things that are causing me anxiety & panic attacks. I feel very "unsettled", but once my income amount is settled, & we figure out how to make it, I'm hoping the anxiety will subside enough where I don't need meds everyday. Though by that time, my daughter will be a teenager in high school, I might need double the dose, lol!

    As far as my back goes, my focus right now is trying to find accectance (I'm getting there) & just figuring out new ways to do what needs to be done around the house, etc. I went through MAJOR anxiety when I learned all about doctor shopping, the DEA, & the whole pm process, because I had no idea about any of that before I learned about it from this site, & fear I might have made some innocent mistakes that could get me in trouble at some point. I've worked through a lot of that, because what's done is done, & I will deal with the fallout if & when it comes.

    I think the clonazepam has helped with of this, & I'm grateful my dr put me on it. I hope everyone who suffers from anxiety is able to find something that helps.
    We can't always control the cards we are dealt in life, but we can control how we play the hand
  • Taren suggested a psychologist, which is a great idea. They are definetly great listeners, & can be tremendously helpful in helping you find ways to cope. But, they are not md's, & can't proscribe meds. For that, you have to see a psychiatrist. However, prescribing meds is all they do, they tend not to be "warm & fuzzy", & your not going to get emotional counseling from them.

    I started out getting anti depressants from my PCP, but when they seemed to stop working, he asked me to see a psych, because he didn't feel comfortable playing around with different ones trying to figure out what works. I think this was a good call on his part, & IMHO, I think all us Spiney's should try to see a psych for anti anxiety or anti depressants. There's a lot of potential interactions with all the pain & other meds we take.
    We can't always control the cards we are dealt in life, but we can control how we play the hand
  • TarenTTaren Posts: 525
    edited 04/09/2014 - 6:40 PM
    MSG is correct it is a psychiatrist that can prescribe meds not a psychologist. I always get the 2 confused. However, I just read that there has been a push in several states to grant psychologist prescribing privileges and there are actually a few places where psychologist do have prescribing privileges.

    Psychologist are able to prescribe medications in the military, Indian health services, Louisiana as well as New Mexico. In such cases, psychologist are required to receive proper training and are permitted to prescribe certain medications used in the treatment of mental disorders.

    I always knew one could prescribe and one could not, could just never keep them straight. Hopefully soon both will be able to prescribe in all states and then everyone can choose the one they would rather talk with. I guess I should have looked it up first, I apologize for that. I'm sure I will remember the difference now. Thank you, MSG, for correcting my mistake.

  • Because I learned the hard way. What was really the pits is that my insurance covers a million psychologists, but not may psychiatrists. It would be nice if psychologists could prescribe, but I wonder how many would be willing to go through at least a certain amount of med school? But it sure would be nice, one less dr to have to deal with!
    We can't always control the cards we are dealt in life, but we can control how we play the hand
  • I try to get out as often as i can which isn't very often but i go fishing from time to time. i put my rods in a trolley along with bait, tackle, etc..... i usually have to stop and lean on the rail while walking up the pier a dozen times till i get where im going to set up. i find a spot where there is a bench to sit on or bring a folding chair. i usually have to get my spouse to help me take things for me. and when im hurting too bad to cast i sit for a while. i always take my medication with me. and i try to relax as much as possible.
  • Ahhhh, the relaxing benefits of just sitting next to the water, be it a fast rushing creek, a pond, lake, river or the ocean!!! I wish we could toss our pain and troubles into the water and just watch them float away, never to return again.

    Fresh air, sunshine and water & a pain free day....don't you wish we could get that filled at the pharmacy?
  • dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 9,859
    edited 04/10/2014 - 3:06 AM
    I love being near the water. I grew up on Long Island, NY and the beaches from Jones Beach out to the Hampton are beautiful. We moved up to Connecticut and we live a block away from Candlewood Lake. We have a pontoon boat and no matter how stressed a day may be, just going out the lake wipes away all the stress.

    But I do miss the ocean, the salt water and the pounding of the surf.
    Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator
    I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
    You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com
  • I love just sitting next to the water and looking out over it, Gosh, it is so relaxing. It seems there are no problems in the world as long as you can see the water, or at least that's how it makes me feel. We are about 15 minutes from the nearest lake but I plan on spending some time there this summer, in a beach chair, sunblock, sunglasses and a good book. We actually drove over there Sunday and just sat and watched the water, it was so beautiful. I don't know how it does it but water calms a body so much.
  • As soon as I see my PCP on the 28th Im going to talk to him about the depression and possibly about getting recommendations on physciatrists. luckily with my insurance I dont need referrals but Id like to get his point of view. In the mean time im going to just try to relax and stay as positive as possible. I hear the weather up my way is supposed to be clearing up soon which means ill be able to enjoy some sunshine and fun with my kiddos. I really think once I get the depression under control my life will get a bit better. Its just so overwhelming at the moment...
    (12.24.13) L2-L3 Laminectomy, Discectomy and Coflex insertion. DX'ed with Ankylosing Spondylitis on 5/13/14
  • You are sounding more positive today, that's great!!! Talking to your pcp is a great starting point for you to get your depression under control. I hope the weather clears up there soon and you have some warmer & brighter days ahead, I mean that both physically and mentally :-)
  • It has a waterfall and lots of goldfish and koi. It is amazing to be able to go outside and listen to the waterfall and watch the fish come up for some food. My neighbors don't like it very much because the frogs come out everytime it rains and they will croak all night. The sound doesn't bother me, can't sleep verywell anyway. I also have a fountain that I can turn on in another bed in the backyard. I can get stereo water effects. Unfortunately I had to hire someone to help me get the fountain ready and to do some of the upkeep on the pond this year.
    laminectomy c4/c5 2008, ACDF c4-c7 Jan 20 2014 sched
  • maybe ill try getting a water sounds cd or something to see if that helps relax me to sleep? multiple people saying it helps, sounds like I should give it a try!

    @Taren, Im trying to be more positive today, the sun is shining, and my pain level is only at around a 4 at the moment so I suppose im not having too bad of a day today. :) which is a good thing!
    (12.24.13) L2-L3 Laminectomy, Discectomy and Coflex insertion. DX'ed with Ankylosing Spondylitis on 5/13/14
  • Dave, that sounds wonderful. I can only imagine the sound of it on a warm spring/summer night. I would live out in the back yard if I were you!! The frogs croaking wouldn't bother me, being raised in the country, I am use to the sound of frogs croaking and I love to hear them right after a rain. They are just starting to croak here and the sound reminds me that spring is here--finally after the loooong winter we have all had!! Flowers, trees budding, warm sunshine, water, clear skies, spring rains and last but not least, **frogs** We should all step outside "it's" finally here.....I for one am very happy!!
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