Hi to all....
ive been lurking in the background for quiet a while, but tonight things are just getting on top of me and I feel the need to just let it all out... so apologies that im just gonna vent here....hope that's ok
Just to outline history, been suffering from lower back pain since age of 18, with left sided sciatica. In December 2008,at age 25 a disc herniated resulting in cauda equine syndrome, and was operated on in Feb 09. Delay due to mri waiting list and reporting back on results. To cut a long story short, I recovered fairly well with little side effects, a few flare ups here and there but nothing to get too panicky about.
Anyhow, basically I had a bit of a relapse of symptoms in August of last year, now aged 31, which have not let up. MRI's basically don't explain the pain, usual facet hypertrophy, narrowing of foramina, but nothing to explain why I have a severe pain down the left leg yet again. My gp prescribed muscle relaxants, anti inflamatories and pain killers, and I was hopeful to return to work but work gp wouldn't allow return as I wasn't fit. Anyhow that is where I am stuck. Things have not improved to any extent. I have undergone treatment with no success. Had epidurals, Facet joint blocks, Radiofrequency of the L5, S1 nerve twice - which only seemed to make things worse. So here I am, almost 10 months later...feeling useless... unable to walk straight, in constant pain when sitting, and pins and needles, back spasms etc. My pain management consult is now scheduling me in for a Racz procedure for scar tissue -- but my mri shows minimal scar tissue??? he says I have nothing to lose...and he will try and free up the nerve and make a bit of room. and that if this doesn't work, then he will refer me further to consider spinal cord stimulation. he is saying it is neorupathy but is this normal a few years after cauda equina? and why now have I got this pain? Im just so frustrated... :0(
Im on lyrica, targin and vimovo...and still every day is a struggle. I feel like somedays it must be all in my head when nothing of significance showed up on the mri. Latest MRI was last month so its not as if they are outdated. I was able to drive up until last Jan when I had the second round of radiofrequencey. since then I have struggled with clutching and siting in the car so im pretty housebound and im cracking up. My husband has been out of work, so thankfully in a way he was here to take me to appointments etc, but has recently gotten a few weeks work and this is where things have really been strained. I cant seem to drive myself anywhere and have to ask for help when I need to get to appointments. This should really only be a little thing but its turning out to be a nightmare. I had to ring my parents earlier to ask If they could drop me to a company dr next week and the silence when I asked just said everything. I have no support network when it comes to needing to get to places.... and when I say places, its not like I want to go out for a social outing, its drs appointments etc. My husband is fantastic, but he is working for now and cant take time off as its only for a few weeks.
I just feel trapped... and so alone. my brothers and sisters don't text, call or keep in touch due to an old falling out. so all I have are my parents and my husband as his family are so far away. To my parents, I feel like im an inconvenience that they could do without as they really don't like to be put out of their routine!!! I don't know anymore.... the prospect of possibley having to get a spinal cord stimulator --- and knowing that I will have little support afterwards is terrifying...I don't know what to do. My consultants response to im not able to drive is to get an automatic car... but we don't have the funds. I just feel trapped.. and scared of whats to come... how I will get there... cope and get through the other side. Sorry I know im rambling... I just needed to vent... im just a bit lost at the moment, and don't know whom I can rely on.... and its a scary place. I just want normality, and to get back to work. work was a big part of my identity and I feel like a failure that I haven't even been able to get back to work and its 10 months later.. :0(
just wondering if anyone has been in a similar situation to where I am? or has undergone the racz procedure and it has worked or not? or have any comments on the spinal cord stimulator for neuropathy?
sorry its such a long post..... just needed to try and clear the head .... and vent....
thank you all for reading... and also for all your posting which has helped me so much over the past few weeks
x x x