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Who You are

My Name is Ranchhand..not my real name of course, but it will suffice to the task
I'me an introvert,I dont like help from anyone, I rather eat a Andrew Zimmern weapons grade Tarantula than ask for it..
and it shows, When I should have been asking, i was toughing it
when I cowboyed up, i should have just spoke the issue
Ime independent and free..well on the inside at least
Enough about me,
Who be you?

what traits help you?
What personality traits hurt you?
and why?

I'me of the idea that we tend to be independent minded, used to having things go a certain way by sheer force of will and determination..and medication.

we as a community are a Rare Avis, seemingly more united by adversity than other social critters.
I think its because we are and can be honest and sincere about the community wide monkey sitting on our backs.

what drives a person to seek their own kind? a shared sense of values, a common goal, or is it the lonely voice upon the moors, hears a kindred voice in the darkness, and finds themselves warmed and welcomed

Who are you, the essential you, the one outside of the mortal plain, the endless thorn-ed path trod with uncertain feet, , never sure whether the next step will cut or claim the life from the soul.

What are you, what are you becoming, and will become, a static life is a tragic life, breath and song wasted on the wind, what is your song yet to be sung? what deed yet done?

Why are you here?

How did you find yourself here?

When are you? are you in some sunlit past of sunshine and oatmeal raisin cookies
or are you right here, right now

think on this awhile
William Garza
Spine-Health Mod

Welcome to Spine-Health



  • This is a great one! My lack of words is representative of my abundance of thought! I am "thinking on this a while" ;-)
    Osteoarthritis & DDD.
  • Mmmm i havent a clue who I am at present, as I seem to have lost me!ill let you know when I've found me again and where I'm at...I looked in the mirror today and I didn't even recognise myself :-/
    Facet joint Arthritis L3,L4,L5,DDD.
  • I lost me too! Have no idea who I am now and I really miss me! Great topic, but scary :-)
  • same here, I didn’t even recognize myself. But I know, deep inside here in my soul, I’m scared enough to accept who really am.
    "When do you think people die? When they are shot through the heart by the bullet of a pistol? No. When they are ravaged by an incurable disease? No. When they drink a soup made from a poisonous mushroom!? No! It’s when… they are forgotten."
  • If you don't recognize the person in the mirror, now is the time to mold the image you see into what you want it to be.
    Its kind of like having to do something over again...you already did this one time, and now you are forced to do this over,,and sometimes over-s again and the pain/debility progresses.

    Who we once were doesn't determine who we will be.
    its like a bully has taken to push us around enough..until we start to believe what we are hearing, and acting on the negative...

    I beg to differ.
    what once was is irreparably gone and what can be is undetermined.
    the loss of one and the uncertainty of the other leaves a person confused no?

    Power and security, certainty and decisiveness... seem to have been taken from us, and given back to us as fetters and grit between what we want and what we could have is put a barrier by this unseen and unwelcome beast.

    what we have left, these tatters, ineffective and useless against the cold inside, the world we knew outside and what.."is" is indecision.

    everything you are
    everything that makes you special
    everything that makes you a light in world
    is hidden

    The Requiem played
    The Funereal walked
    and the sentence carried out

    But everything that is you has been buried alive.

    trapped in the self imposed exile of the broken
    we tend to shrink into and of ourselves...


    Every thing that made you."you" is still right there, still accessible, still visible and viable
    that is the self inflicted shame, What once was, isnt, and what is..shouldnt...

    remember all you are is fine and beautiful, if only trapped inside a earthen, broken shell
    apply some effort here
    break off the dross
    let go of what..cant be
    embrace... what is

    the mirror only shows you what you want it to see
    find the shine again, find the fine grain within
    everything good and fine is still there
    it is time to build...

    take stock of what you are and are no longer
    take hold and pry the good from the mud that life has become
    build again

    I see the wonder and beauty of people..everyday, who have beautiful lives
    I see the wonder of life restored to them
    on the outside, like castille walls, a little worn broken and seeming shaky..yet the sum total of their lives make the inner world impenetrable.

    you still have strength
    you still have honor
    you still have beauty
    you still have grace
    you still have dignity
    you still have determination
    you still have drive

    you still have light.

    The world is only as terrible as you see it
    learn to look with the honest heart
    and you will see the way

    the path is before you
    you have already been walking on it.like it or not
    start finding things along the way that build the person you want to be, not what was, that is gone.
    these valley walls are high, steep and unforgiving
    many things fall and hit you everyday
    some knock you down
    some dont
    some decide not to get up
    they are still in the valley

    we are still moving forward in time, even though it feels stagnated and dull of desire, whetting that blade too many times leaves nothing to use in the future.
    Take the blade of what you want..sharpen to a fine keen edge and use it to hack away the dead and useless about you
    build a new life
    hack it out of the wilderness inside

    build on a solid foundation
    of Love, Faith in yourself, Hope for a better day and strength from within
    build the walls thick to handle anything life can throw

    inside, let there be only one mirror, just by the window there, let the true light in and shine on you and the mirror will reflect what and who you really are.
    William Garza
    Spine-Health Mod

    Welcome to Spine-Health

  • Thank you
    Your words touched profoundly
    Let me look in the mirror and redesigm
    Fell 11ft 2007 numerous fractures broken arm, 4 head bleeds.
    Nerve blocks, tried stimulator, acupuncture, massage, numerous injections, nerve blocks. Ect. Vitamins
    2011 laminectomy, april 4. 2014 Fusion l5-S1. PLIF
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