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Hi 40 with fibro,chronic pain,tore up lower


im 40 lifelong chronic pain, chronic fatigue, and life Firbromyalgia!

yes no joke, lie, exaggeration a year ago a specialist (late could have used this info years ago lol)

a specialist rheumatologist from another state diagnosed me as the few to have had since birth dont ask i dont understand myself!

Pain has been my life, pain the only drug ever addicted to, being my age i grew up being beaten down for not being able to perform, keep, up, or hold jobs!

I was told by jobs, family, everyone i was lazy, weak, not trying, so i grabbed the pain the more pain and suffering, well the harder and better working i must be, surly because i was weak, i was told not trying hard enough wimpy giving in!

so over the years i learned how to push past limits, past passing out, pushing passing out limits farther off!

well i have dislocated, ripped out shoulders and most all damage available, to show i was a good man a good worker!

i was security in a town 40 miles away i would stop and help people on the way to work!

well one day a drunk clipped me with his door and mirror and caught my police belt and threw me a few feet!

well i got up finished with the person went to work got temporary belt and stuff till i could buy another, and just went to work!

smart no make me special no but i was conditioned if pain won and i sat or took time for it, that i lost and was being weak and lazy!

now 40 bad hips, right IT band badly damaged a couple months ago, lower back is destroyed 20 or more plus the current chiro who i trust the most all have focused and pointed to my lower back!

current chiro says its a mess thats very hard to put in words or describe to me just it wont lock or stay weak muscles all that! i just know it can pinch my spine there and drop me like a 300 pound rock!

hurt myself plenty of times by pushing it that far, im 6.3 a long fall lol

i was blessed with ADHD which has ungodly high pain tolerance(makes me wonder if its unbearable almost cant take with adhd how bad would it feel without that adhd buffer?)

i also had early on spine problems, as a teen or younger a camp counselor grabbed my hand and yanked me from the top bunk dead center top of my head on the floor!!

parents rushed me to there chiro it was squished compressed whatever took 10 visits to fix!! since then full back and neck problems and chiros from as long as i can remember

well sorry long winded and crappy writing skills

what do i hope to get from here? show others compassion, guidance a hand to hold that understands, hopefully support acceptance and help and hope when i need it!

i give what i get, by that i mean you show me respect i give respect, kindness, ignore my faults, i return and more i wont petty fight or answer for mt posting skills or your lack of liking how i write if your that small and petty i dont and cant hate that kind of ignorance its everywhere just give love back they dont know the people they miss by judging and making boxes for everything has to fit

thank you all have a great one
Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever.



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