This post is both a way for me to vent, but also to get some advice or helpful insight. I have gone through so much that I am losing faith in doctors and have seen so many people get lost in the system.
I talk to family members and they tell me that crying is "drug seeking behavior". But when I see my dr, I cry almost every visit because I am frustrated NOT because I am seeking extra drugs! I have chronic gastritis because a previous physician prescribed me hoards of ibuprophen and muscle relaxers and my stomach was just destroyed, so I can not take NSAIDS, and I have bad reactions to Oxycontin, Morphine, and Oxycodone. They all cause me to itch all over, get hives, and get very irritable, so all of those are on my "allergies list", which my family says is another sign of "drug seeking behavior". According to textbooks, I am someone who needs to have a big red flag over her chart because I may be a drug seeker.....
I want to know why the hell Red Flags go up to a doctor for someone like me who has legitimate pain with DDD, DJD, Nerve damage, multiple surgeries, fibromyalgia, microdiskectomy and fusion, etc, who is only taking 2 norco 10/325 a day and how that justifies them taking away the ONLY thing that I take for my pain!! If someone is in pain and they take narcotics, DUH, eventually they will develop a tolerance to it. As long as I am not increasing my prescription, why is it wrong for me to take the same amount for the rest of my life to help with the pain if it allows me to live a normal life as opposed to being bed ridden from the pain!? I started with 4. Three a day seemed to be the magic number for me, but my doctor claims that I have developed a tolerance to the norco and he wants to take it away completely.....I don't understand how a pain management clinic can take away the only thing that helps with pain management! Eventually, everyone develops a tolerance. Why can some people get prescribed 10 pills a day or get morphine with Oxycontin for break through pain, when here I am getting a mere 2 pills a day and they are looking at me like I'm a drug seeker!?!?!?! If weening away my norco, then I feel they should be putting me on something else for the pain!! I've been their pinc cushion long enough! It's horrible that we have to go through injections we don't want or else they won't prescribe us medication. I was schedule for injections one day and I told my doctor NO STEROIDS and even wrote in on the consent form. After the injection my back hurt for weeks and my nerves went crazy down my legs and I was having pain in the back of both my thighs when I don't normally have pain there. I called and spoke to a nurse and she told me it was the steroids irritating my nerves most likely! Steroids?!?! I couldn't believe it! My doctor did it even when I told him and wrote down that I did not want them! I was livid. So there I was experiencing nerve pain I normally never have 2 weeks non stop, and my doctor doesn't care. He just does whatever he wants with no consequences.
I honestly have developed such bad anxiety and fear of not having any pain control that I have panic attacks the day of my pain clinic appointments because I'm so afraid that it will be the day they lower me down to 1 pill a day and then eventually nothing, or that they will cause more pain. Honestly, I have only had 2 rhizotomys actually help me and the rest caused more pain and made me wish I never had it done. I have had a few rare days when the pain was not bad and I told myself I was not going to waste a pill on a day where it wasn't severe because I might need it for a day where I am, and went 36 hours with nothing before my whole body started to hurt and I suddenly felt sick. I told my doctor and he said those are withdraw symptoms and should not take the medicine when I have that, but I am really in pain! Isn't that what they are for? I am just trying to delay taking the pill for when it is EXTREMELY bad pain because they are forcing me to pick and choose when I need the most pain relief by limiting my medication! And I'm sure my doctor feels real bad going home to a nice house and being able to lift stuff, sleep like a baby, exercise, go on vacation,etc, and not have to worry about any of us who are in bed wishing we could compete again in our favorite sport, or ride a roller coaster!
It's not fair that one person can have so much control over your life! How is it legal for them to take away the only thing that ables me to get my groceries or find a job? I follow the rules, I am honest with my doctor, I get injections even when I don't want to and they hurt me, and yet I feel I get hit by the door on my way out and my own dog gets better care than I do!
I don't think it's fair for pain clinics to stereotype people or behaviors. If someone is in pain and you can clearly see proof of it, then why is it wrong to prescribe them pain meds?
I know that the argument is that narcotics are bad and we should avoid them and they make our pain receptors more sensitive, etc... but then why even prescribe them in the first place for chronic pain patients?
Is anyone else frustrated with the "system"? Anyone else experience issues with people judging you or lowering your dose when you are still in severe pain? Anyone else having problems getting something they need because "other people abuse it"?.