So this is messed up. My family gets back from Florida and everything is good. Then my girl starts going back to her job ( stripper) and all of a sudden she's distant, getting phone calls and texts at 4 in the morning. So I tell her she's acting very shady and distant and would like to know who's been calling and why she's been coming home at 4 30 when the club closes at 2 or 3. So she freaks out says I have no right to be suspicious and decides she wants to leave me with the kid and move out to be "on her own". I ask why? She says " I can't be around you anymore because your not the same. Your always in pain." This is after 3 years of recovery, she now decides to leave me. My pain is becoming very bad due to having the kid jump on me, picking her up and basically everything that it takes to look after a kid. I'm at a loss here. She was the only one who understood what I'm going through but apparently she was lying like every other female....ever. I now have an undiagnosed spinal condition because no doctor knows what is wrong with me. They can only ever suggest more operations. I'm back to living with my parents and life is getting tiresome. Should I just move away from everyone and be alone so the ex will have to look after the kid because I can't? Or do I stick around and take high doses of medicine until I suffer organ failure? My liver enzymes are already on the rise and I feel sick to my stomach because I take like 10 extra strength Tylenol with tramadol and robaxin. Not sure how much longer I can take this. I get the point of life is to be in pain but when does it end? When were dead? Doped out of our minds? I've lost everything important to me and don't really see a light at the end of any tunnel. No matter how many senarios i play out, nothing ends with me being healthy and happy. Only in unbelievable pain, anger, or death. I was never one who could talk to people ( especially women. Many are minipulative and mean ) so I have this feeling my destiny is to wonder around the earth hurting all day, everyday until my days are done. Sorry for the rant. I can usually solve problems like this by myself but this one is beyond me. Seeing that I'm half crippled, have no money, have no real job anymore, live with the parents and I have no "game" or whatever people say nowadays, I'm pretty sure I'm screwed.
Does anyone have any kind advice for this messed up situation that I got dropped into? Anything would be nice really.