Hello Fellow Chronic Pain Sufferers,
I am glad to have found this support group. Very glad. I have NO SUPPORT at all from family and am too sick to have any friends left. Nobody can relate to what I am going through and I am so isolated. I am so debilitated that I am home bound
for the most part (I do go to doctor appointments and must do things) but I am needing to lie down most of the day.
So- close to bed-ridden as well but grateful that I can still keep up on my hygiene and housework as long as I only do a little bit every day with lots of rest in between activity.
I have been suffering from chronic migraine (cluster) headaches since I was 16 yrs. old and had some other health problems also at a young age- like Hypoglycemia, REM Sleep Behavior Disorder, GAD and PTSD. I was able to keep a job and still live a fairly normal life while managing these problems.
I have become pretty much home bound and bedridden since 2009 due to severe chronic pain, injury, and disabling conditions.
I was hit on the freeway from behind at high speed in a little Ford Mustang by a huge Dodge Ram with snowmobiles on back
in 2006. After that car accident I had slurred speech, severe chronic pain in my left leg and lower back, chronic pain in my neck and a lot of neurological problems. I have not had a day since that I have not struggled like crazy to just shower and dress myself. I forgot how to do my job. I forgot how to cook. I forgot everything it seems like.
I have severe memory problems and have been diagnosed with post- concussive syndrome, REM Sleep Behavior disorder, chronic pain, chronic migraine-
cluster lightening bolt headaches (the lightening bolt bit is added in by me), seizures (mostly happen in my sleep), hypoglycemia. severe muscle damage, severe depression, herniated and bulging disc's with nerve root compression,
Degenerative Disc Disease (moderate to advanced), PTSD, Anxiety disorder and panic attacks. I am probably forgetting some things.
It does look like I am going to be diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease or Multiple System Atrophy (I am having bad Movement problems now and the REM Sleep Behavior Disorder is a "precursor" to these diseases). My dad just died from Multiple System Atrophy and I have ALOT of the same symptoms. I feel like I had either Parkinson's or MSA before the car accident and the car accident trauma brought that forward if that makes sense to anyone.
I tried so hard to keep my job and keep going with no help from family/friends, co- workers etc. - they just all wondered what had happened to me. It was so embarrassing. I could not figure out how to get help. I had great insurance at the time but all I
could figure out to do because of severe confusion, brain injury and pain was to see my PCP. He kept trying me on all kinds of
anti-depressants, muscle relaxers and NSAID medication which I had horrible reactions to. I kept telling him that I needed help
for the pain. That pain was driving me out of my mind and I had NO quality of life at all. No sleep, no eating, no friends, no social activity etc. My PCP would only prescribe 30 5 mg Lortab a month for me. I somehow made it until 2009 at which time I tried to take my own life because I was in such severe pain that I just could not deal with it anymore. I should be dead.
I had Liver Failure, Kidney Failure and Multiple Organ Failure due to Tylenol Poisoning. Ouch. I finally got taken seriously and put into Pain Management. Thank The Lord. I now have problems from the Liver and Kidney damage and a huge hernia right below my Liver. The good news is that I have a very good pain doctor now who has put me on MS Contin 30 mg twice a day
and 15 mg once a day. That has improved my life a lot. I mean, I can at least sleep and eat now and have enough pain control that I have not tried to kill myself again. : ( pretty sad but I am extremely grateful for those small things. I still struggle every day to shower, dress, do a little housework etc. life has become so hard.
That is the situation. I need surgery on my hernia and need to see a Liver Specialist and the same (only) Neurologist who treats MSA that treated my dad but I am broke. I am currently on my second claim for disability benefits but keep getting denied. I just went to my second ALJ Hearing (even though they determined there was no job I could do at the first one, I was still denied) so I am praying that I get disability benefits. I cannot keep living if I don't get approved for disability. My mom has to pay for me to go to the pain doctor and Medicaid covers my prescriptions but nothing else. It is too expensive for my mom to keep taking care of me. I am going to have to go to a state that will humanely euthanize me if disability benefits do not come through for me.
My heart goes out to all of you who are suffering and dealing with disabling conditions. It has become so hard to get pain medications and medical help. It is overwhelming. I pray for you all.
God Bless all of us who are suffering with chronic pain and chronic health conditions.
With Love and compassion,