Hows everyone doing?
I thought I would briefly explanation of how I have ended up living with a knacked back. lol that is if I can do a brief intro and your comments and thoughts would be appreciated please..
I'm a biker and love the open road however those days have gone onwards and upwards hey..Back in 2009 I was on my way to the ward after 2 weeks off for completing a lands end to john o'groats charity bike ride on my ybr 125 hardtail. ( in english a 12 hp motor bike with no suspension). a brilliant ride and we raised good money for christies hospital,help the heroes, and great ormond st hospital..
Anyhow it was a august morning with low sun and with a damp road surface and old diesel as i turn in to a junction my back tyre slipped and the bike went from underneath me.. it was 25 mph impact on my right hand side of my stomach, I was twisted as i hit the deck.. ever since then its been hell with my back. I picked my bike up and called work and the aa.. I went to a&e which looking back was funny cos all the people sat in waiting room as looking at me as i was in my uniform. Little did i know at that time it would be the last time wearing it.
A&E doc looked at my back and said internal bruising but nothing major rest and painkillers be ok.. painkiller as in over the counter. Had a sick note for 2 weeks and though 0k going be sore but hey im still here.
few days later went to my doc could hardly walk and in agony.. co-codomol and rest was the docs advice.. he put it down to internal bruising... at this point no xray. This went on for months I was flat on my back and in hell.. so doc sent me to a osteopath... the osteopath got me moving so i progressed to phyisio approx 3 months later. It was all starting to take a toll ,all the things I couldn't do.. even pushing a supermarket trolley or vac.. I Had spent 10 years looking after patients being on the other foot wasn't my idea of fun.
Now the actual dates over the last 5 years on treatment i received in the early years is patchy, but i remember the treatment and drugs. As time was going by I lost my job because I could no longer lift, move the heavy patients on the stroke ward.. is a very demanding ward with high priority cases. I had to move back with my mum due to the financial side, I cashed in my pension so I wouldn't have to claim the sick. Any way back to my doc it was a weekly thing and he decided to send me to hospital for an x ray it showed nothing and got told to keep taking the pills. that was 2010.
Sep 2010 I knew I had to retain, nursing was no longer a viable career, It was a toss up between computers or mechanics ( bike) so off to college I went.. the pain was hell the co codamol got changed from co codamol to co dydramol + diazepam, anti inflammatories and drugs to line my stomach before inflammatories, i'm sure you will all be able to relate to the constant pill taking.
Pain was unbearable with standing up in workshop or sitting down for so long in 2 hour lectures.. so back off the the doc and a hobble is the best way to describe it. he put me on tramadol... ugh what a horrible drug, further down the line the pain was still unbearable tram took the edge off but id still be hurting like hell.. the doc said well there is nothing else i can do painkiller wise bar send me to the pain clinic.. I was happy and though great will finally get this pain under control.
Appointment for what I thought was the pain clinic came through, off I go and find out it is a doc you go to before the pain clinic to see if you are suitable for the pain clinic.. never known out like it!!! he said he send me for a MRI scan see what's going on.. month or so down the line a MRI appointment comes, I attend and a month later received a letter asking me to go back to the consultant at what I call a halfway clinic. He informed me ( I will keep docs names out of it) my MRI scan is normal.. now at this point I was being referred to the pain clinic - the year is 2011 .. The consultant said it is about managing the pain and learning how to deal with it...
Pain clinic comes.. I'm thinking I will finally get some results.. the consultant said the MRI scan clear I want to do a epidural injection and see how that helps. Now I'm still struggling through college and in my second year, my plan was by the time i'm qualified I will be fit enough to work.l good result. I asked him if I could have the injection done in the 2 week easter break so I don't miss any college ... he was cool with it I got my appointment on the friday last week before we broke up for easter. this was 2012.
Injection done had a really bad reaction, pain shot through the roof .. can't remember the name of the reaction some long latin word. I finally got home I couldn't sit or lay for more than 15 mins the pain killers wasn't touching it, I couldn't hardly walk to get up stairs I was on my hands and knees.. christ never again... 2 weeks late was no fit state to go college i was only just able to sit for 30 mins at time,, I finally got to the point where i could get in to college until a month after the procedure, again dragging my ass, for workshop I had to sit down I couldn't stand up long enough., 6 weeks later for a follow up appointment at pain clinic he said you have nerve damage where my nerve endings are sending to may electrical signals to my pain receptor. and told me to try gabapentin... Christ couldn't hack them.. made me ill. couldn't concentrate on course work nothing, now it became a mental struggle as well as a physical struggle.
My next consultation with the pain clinic consultant was in august 2012 I will never forget the day, date yes day no... he said" that this was as good as it gets, Id never ride my motorbike again and i'm stuck with this pain for life", and put me on pregabin.. I was crushed... I couldn't see passed never riding my bike again or see any point in going back to college for my final year cos i wouldn't be able to ride, or work on the bikes a tour mechanic and see the world! my life was over... BUT with help of some good mates and my now partner I went back to college and qualified and starting to except I wouldn't ride.. however I proved the consultant wrong I got back on my bike not for long but I rode again, It was to V's up to the world.:-).
2012 was hell I was on max doss of tram.. I went cold turkey on the other drugs in the summer of 2012 , I was fed up with all the drugs and there was no way I was going to qualify, pass my exams ect off my face on all the drugs, plus the health and safety issue of me in a workshop operating machinery ect..+ 37 pills a day is takes it toll..
My partner had moved and came down with the flu so I found him a doc, and on the docs website it said a particular doc specialised in chronic condition, well with my diagnosis of chronic pain, caused by nerve damage he could be the man.. So I changed doc...
What a nightmare, I informed him of my condition and diagnosis ect ect.. and that I was ESA and I needed a new sick note, I explained that I went to him because of his specialism. he seemed ok.. the first month, he got me on a new pilot scheme for cognitive therapy for chronic pain.I was happy though he knows his stuff. A month later I rung up for a repeat prescription, for tramadol. Next day which was a friday my partner went to collect my prescription there was no tramadol. I had to go all weekend without no tramadol because the doc on call would not authorize the tramadol, because my doc had removed it on my list of drugs.. I had some diazepam left from before and co codamol the strong one... I did nothing so i could try get through the pain, Monday I managed to get a appointment with the doc. I said " I not been able to have any tramadol , why have you taken me of it.. " he said " you told me you went cold turkey on the drugs even the 100 mg slow release 12hr tramadol" . I said "yes but I am still on the 50 mg tramadol up to 8 x 50 mg per day and the pregabalin. if you looked at my medical records you would know that I have been on tramadol for over a year. I never stopped taking the 50mg tablets."
he wasn't impressed and reluctantly put me back on..... 1 fight won thats how it felt..
I Was due for the 2 monthly sick note and check, I had been going to my cognitive therapy he asked me how it was going. I Was on a 1 to 1 at the time.. I said it ok.. which it was, She asked the questions of how do you cope ect ect.. well i was in my last year at college and struggling to keep up to date with work and i wasup to date at the time.. I was struggling with the practical, not cos of the course, but the pain, the councilor said i am doing every thing that i could be doing and i should be proud of my self.. Well in my head, not till this pain is under control and college is finished.. I have and still believe life has to get better pain wise then this, cos if this is it .well......
Any how she wanted me to take part in the group part of the trail because she believed I would be a good example for the group. due to 2 busses and pain was unable to go.. explained this to doc.. I was getting a lift in to college and a lift home. it was a matter of just get to classroom and sit straight down, that how I got through. ( I been given a chip on my photo id so I could use the staff lifts so I would have to walk up 10 flights of stairs to get to my classroom cos if I didnt I wouldnt make it.).
Time went one and this is coming to the end of 2012 I said to my doc on a normal appointment i'm really struggling, this is real hard and i'm falling behind at college.. he said i was "depressed lol". I said " no i'm frustrated because this pain is stopping me and make life hell they got to be something else we can do.. I dont want to be on anti depressants", he "said well wait for a few more weeks if you feel the said I would recommend me going on the prozac.." he gave me a prescription for my monthly drugs and sick note.. of I went..I never took the prozac... it was frustration and i think a lot of us can relate to that..
I got a extension at college from the department manger on motor vehicles, i was in regular contact with him and one my tutors who actually dropped of work for me at home, my mate from college also did the same so i had every note, hand out ect.. I just had to teach my self, I was lucky I had a lot of people rooting for me to finish and qualify.. however my doctor was the total opposite..
In july 2013 I qualified last in my group but I did it, I was the only female left in the group from the first half term in year 2 it was imperative I qualified. The pain situation hadn't changed and when it got to my doc giving me a 3 month sick note I knew he wasn't in my corner and I started contemplating changing docs again. 3 other things happened while under this doctors care,
1 - When I first changed to the doc from hell a asked to be referred to gynecology department for removal of my ovaries m I have pmt and heavy bleeding + I was informed I cant fall pregnant while on pregabalin, (my old doc told me) my theory was on time of the month I was taking tram and co codamol from over the counter cos the doc from hell wouldn't help with pain relief and quite frank he didn't believe me. I told him i was taking co codamol as well and he said "don't you not meant to with the tramadol.!. I said "what about the pain," his reply "just take your Tramadol that's it". So as i can't have kids due to meds which i would be on for life.. or so I was told then it was a simple choice, I got told the referral had been done, so i waited over a year later 2 weeks ago the referrals department rung me up from the docs and asked me for my private details for the gyna referral, asked her what she meant, her reply was it had a query here for private or NHS. I informed her that I am on the ESA and in no way could I be able to afford private and the doctor knew it would be nhs... A serious delay tactic or what... and for it to be sat on her desk as a query for over a year is disgusting. No it has been sent of to the right department and hospital where all my notes are from my consultant their before.
2- In august I was due to be going to spain with my partner and his folks to their caravan .. I was scared to be honest of being out of the country with this much pain,. all summer I was mostly in bed, and if i managed to get out of bed on a good day the heat just flawed me and I would just sleep thru. As I informed the doc and went thru the same as you have just read with regards to the co codamol .. I also informed him that the lidocaine patches were beginning not to work,(I forgot to say I found lidocaine patches could help with reliving the pain.It was on here from you guys that told me about that . Thank you, so i ask my old doc about then and he was happy to give them a go.. ) he said you have have your tramadol and thats it.. I said" i'm running out of my max dose in afternoon how am I going to manage", he said "take less and make them last".... I said" the pain real bad what else can i do.". he said "i am not going to argue with you ,you are not going to get any more drugs..." he made me feel like I was a low life junkie begging for my my next fix... Other thing I forgot to mention was the first time I go back on my bike for 9 months last summer I car pulled out on me in stationary traffic to go down a side road well i was filtering on the out side of the 2 lane stationary traffic caused by red lights, resulting in knocing me off and landin on my ring side bottom of my back, where the original damage was done.
The doc knew this cos i had to cancel a appointment because I couldn't get their. and since being knocked of the pain has worsened.. I informed the receptionist to tell the doc.. so he knew it had made things worse.... I went home and was distraught.. cried my eyes out , never told my partner cos I didn't want to put it on his shoulders. bad enough living with me and the pain, he didn't need that on top.
3- For nine months while in the doctors from hells care I kept telling him I was getting headaches and if feel sick and couldn't get out of bed I just had to sleep through it and take hedex ect but they would last for days, didn't help with college one bit.. his response was looked into my ears and said well there is no pressure in the brain and dismissed it....
with all this I made my mind up after talking to mum in law I needed a new doc.
Whilst U spain a spent a couple of hours on the beach, when i was a good day, I got stuck, the pain went sky high and couldn't move for the pain, I had to get my partner to get 100 mg tram just so it would take the edge of the pain so he could get me up.that put pay to rest of the time in spain, My mum in law (love her to bits) gave me the number for her physio... so of i went, it was hell 2 days after I couldn't take the pain, I was in the middle of changing docs but because there nurse was of sick I could do the pre medical before joining, so I had no option to to see the on call doc at my old surgery. The one call doc was and is a star, He is now my full time doc.
It took me 5 ish mins to shuffle in to his room from the waiting room.. I said " hi its the old problem of the back". I said "I cant cope with this pain", he said "no and its no way to live and you cant live another 70 years in this pain". I totally agreed, he said "have you ever had morphine," my reply was no. he put me on 15mg morphine slow release 2 times a day and oral morphine 2- 5 ls a day when needed... heaven that afternoon... christ finally I found a doc who cares and don't believe I am making it up.. He referred me to a different pain clinic and within 3 months I had my appointment...which sheds a whole new light on things,
I walked in to the consulting room of the new pain clinic ( I was expecting to be told that this was as good as it gets and it was a matter of trying to get me of morphine and control the pain) I was greeted with hello and its good news and bad news.. I'm like what? I was told 3 things
1- From my MRI scan done in 2012 it shows that my My L4 and L5 are pushed further back in to my spine towards my stomach.
2-I have wear and tear arthritis.
3- thats whats causing the pain and its not central nerve damage, and I can can start lowing my pregabalin.
Conclusion is its the vertebrae and wear and tear arthritics is what is causing the pain she thinks, and i'm on the waiting list for facet joint injections to she if it helps and using it as a diagnostic tool..
Christ I couldnt believe, to this day is still not totally sunk in.. 5 years it taken me to get to this point and taken the 3 consultant to find out what is the cause of the pain.
So with the new diagnosis and morphine my granda a 91 year old D DAY vet waned to go back to normandy for the last time... So my conclusion was if he can do it I can do it I have my morphine to get me through. during the trip we went round the american graveyard but I pushed him round in a wheel chair.. to far to walk on hie 2 sticks and we were getting up at 6 every morning so we could be ready.... so he was knacked to and it was hot,, so he got pushed in style,,, not good for the back but it was for my grandad.. love him to bits. when i finally got to bed that night and the help of the morphine my back went click and once again the pain shot up.. so i stayed their all night. bit better the next day so grit teeth and of we went... My back not been right since and you can feel a bulge in my spine some times were l4 AND L5 is so my doc got me booked in for a MRI next friday to see if surgery will help.
The second week after getting back from normandy I sat my car test and passed first time.. however with the amount of morphine i am taking i don't feel safe in driving.. On average I am on 10mg morphine x2 every 12 hrs, had to cut down cos of driving, I have cut down 75mg of pre gabilin like consultant said but pain to bad to cut down any more and 20 mls of oral morphine during the day more if i'm trying to do chores or go supermarket, So my new doc is putting me on patches i think on friday so hopefully that be better and means i will be able to drive at least then I have freedom.
As for the headaches I mentioned before after a stint in a&e and short admittance 3 month ago it has been diagnosed a tension headache and some time migraines so i am on preventative headaches and as a rule they stopping them. I forgot to tell my new doc about them cos there was so much other stuff going on.,
So there we go that where I am and how i ended up with a bad back, but my question is should I let the consultants that misdiagnosed me get away with it? how many more patients have been misdiagnosed and don't know and not receiving the right treatment? The doctor from hell a formal complaint and enquiry for 12 months he tried every way of not helping me all he did was make me feel like dirt and put my recovery back. I cant let him get away with it can eye, do you guys think I am right in wanting a explanation from them all and an apology?
I have requested my full medical files electronic scan, x rays ect for the last 5 years since this bike accident.
Honest opinions please I do think it not about money but it is about a quality of care to the patient and it s not been.. If they have done it to me who else is out their suffering?