Sorry to be so aggressive but I'm pleading with an experienced member to take pitty on a newby and take the time to help me know how to proceed with my Physician.
First let me apologize for my spelling. I generally spell check, but I don't see that option.
I'm having a serious disagreement with my Dr about the continued use of her prescribed narcotics. She says I'm addicted to them. Imagine that!? 7 years on them and my body is dependent? SMH. Mind you, I never take extra and I have never asked for a script early, but never the less.....
She has gone from blaming everything on a blind faith that every pain is due to a spreading degenerative disk condition (without any tests) and just rushing me out of her office with my narcotics script, like its all in my head, to saying narcotics are horrible and telling me after 7 years that I need to get off them.
I'm really freaking out!
It took allot of years of suffering to the point of not being able to work, tests, PT appointments, anti inflammatories, nsaids, muscle relaxers,.... basicly every pill known for pain that isn't habit forming, because we all know if you ask for pain meds you are "a drug seeker", braces, bed rest.....you know all the hoops we have to jump through before I found a Dr that did an MRI. I spent 2 years flat on my back in bed cause no one would take me serious.
Finally my old Dr. put me on 1 Oxycontin a day. That didn't do anything. I don't remember the dosage but it was the lowest available. Since I suffer from depression, no Dr. had been willing to even give me Tramadol for fear I would abuse it and I had what could be misconstrued as a history of drug abuse.
Unfortunately I had been treating migraines through visits to the ER 20 years prior, in my early 20's, where they always gave me a shot of Demerol. I hadn't had a migrain in 15 years when my back issues first started, but your medical record sticks with you for life when you live in a smaller City and I made the mistake one ER visit of telling the truth. I had been waiting 4 hours in a dark room as usual, they did their usual exam and asked what they usually give me. That's all it took. Once I said Demerol and Fenergran I was screwed for life. (AGAIN! Sorry about the spelling)
When that Dr's teacher (I live in a college town) heard that, they slapped that bright " drug seeker" sticker on the outside of my chart and I have struggled ever since. Up until about 9 years ago, I couldn't get a Tylenol3 for a broken leg! AURG!!
Fast forward to 9 years ago, when I started seeing my current Dr. We started the Fentinal patch (sorry if spelling is wrong....wasn't on it long) which unfortunately I was allergic to, then 4 mg Dilaudid TID, which worked for a couple years on its own and then about 3 years ago she started the timed release Morphine, 60mg TID with the Dilaudid for break through.
About 5 months ago it became virtually impossible for me to sit without intense tailbone/ sacral pain. I suspect from spending the last 14 years of my life on the computer looking for answers and sitting home alone, night after night, year after year in too much pain to put a smile on and continue a life.
Anyway, after complaining for 5 months my Dr. had me go to the "Pain management" clinic in the same University hospital for a cortisone shot and my life has been upside down ever since.
Now, all it took was a pharmacist in the "Pain management" clinic to tell her narcotics aren't the preferred choice for chronic pain and she is taking me off them.
Kind of flaky, wouldn't you agree?
At first (my Docs a female) she cut my Morphine 15mg TID and I got extremely ill. I felt like full blown withdrawal, but not until after most people on this site said it should be over. I can only assume that being on it TID for so long I must have had a build up because most people say withdrawal starts at day 3 and the worse is over by day 10. I was my sickest at day 10.
After going through all that hell, and probably soon to level out, when I finally saw her on day 10 she saw how sick I was and decided she had been too aggressive and put me on 60 2 times a day and 45mg for the 3rd dose. All the while with the Dilaudid still there in between doses.
I read one of our seasoned members wrote that our Drs. work for us and one should tell their Dr if they don't want to be taken off the narcotics. Wellll, that didn't work. I also mentioned the fact that we had come to this agreement together, I even had to sign a "drug contract" saying I would not get ANY class 2 or stronger from any other Dr. And that this pharmacist shouldn't control her decisions as the 2nd Head of Internal Medicine, but she came back with some crap about knowing the pharmacist and trusting her judgement and then told me, after 2 years of knowing this fact, that taking the Dilaudid every 8 hours instead of "as needed" meant I was addicted. I had simply misunderstood the protocol. When I started the Morpine in was 1 q 12hrs with the Dilaudid scheduled. However, she had asked several times before my tailbone issue arose, what my schedule was and she knew that I was taking the Morphine @ 4:00 am, noon, and 8:00pm and the Dilaudid @ 8:00am, 4pm and midnight and never told me I had it wrong until last week when I point blank asked if she was taking me off all my narcotics.
I am terrified! I have gained about 60 lbs since I stopped working. My body is in bad shape. I have nerve and muscle conditions I didn't have when the disk degenerative condition was diagnosed 10 years ago and when they were giving me the cortisone shot they said the xray showed an abnormality of my sacral joint.
Now that she has gotten what I assume was some sort of reprimand or pressure at the very least to take me off the narcotics, she is ordering an MRI. I thought it was to see what they saw in the pain management clinic, but its of my spine, not my tailbone or sacral area. WTH?
I feel like I'm being bailed on. For the past year, anytime I have a new issue she says "I'm not upping your pain meds". I always tell her the same thing, cause I don't want any more pills!!!! " That's NOT why I'm telling you this. Your my Dr and you asked how I'm doing". She would just say I'm sure its a pinched nerve or your condition is just spreading. Now she's ordering tests to prove I shouldn't be on narcotics. Is it me or is this wrong? When she asked why I didn't have the MRI, I said they thought you ordered a spine MRI and my tailbone wouldn't show on that, so they had to get a PO from insurance for lower. Her response was that she wasn't that concerned with my sacral joint but wanted to see how progressed my low back disks were. This is after the Dr that did the injection told me I needed to see a surgeon and most likely have my tailbone removed.
Does anyone feel me? What should I do? Luckily she isn't being too agressive about the Morphine, so my body and mind can adjust. I'm certain my body stopped producing any endorphins of its own long ago.
She has been dismissing me by not properly diagnosing my hip, knee, numb feet, and now tailbone and just handing me my scripts and now it would appear she doesn't even want to do that anymore.
I would appreciate any and all advice!
Thanks for your time,