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AnonymousUserAAnonymousUser Posts: 49,670
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:19 AM in Chronic Pain
I must say that the past few weeks have been mild compared to what I have today. I just had to play the bad guy with my 24 year old daughter and am at full spasms in my low back. They have not been this tight in ages.My meds nor heat nor ice are helping and I really do not know what to do. I have been at this for 8 years now and should know how to handle this,but can't.
Some of you might remember that my daughter does not have her children and hasn't for sometime. She is planning to come to visit and stay with us so that she can see attorneys to try to get the kids back. They are currently living with and have been for about a year and a half with a very close friends of the family. This is something as parents has got to be the hardest thing to do is to be a part of keeping the kids away from there Mother our daughter. She is not mentally able to raise her own kids and never will be. In the mean time my body it is taking its toll on my back by having to deal with my daughter like this. If it is not in bold large print she just does not seem to get it. I knew that this point was going to come, but physically was not. It could not have hit at a worse time for me. How do I put this aside and get my body back under control? These are the spasms that take the breath right out of you.
Anyone want to take a stab at this so that I can find relief from where I am right now?


  • Dawn , you and I have talked about this many times and so what I am going to say you will understand but others may not. I really am not being mean when I say this....there is alot of underlying things in this story. Tell her that she can't stay with you. You know how she works you up and how it affects your body and now it is affecting you worse than ever. You need distance from her , you know that. I am sorry that you are hurting so and I wish that I could take that for you but I can't so instead I will say an extra prayer for you tonight. Take care.
  • I will use your words of guidance as they are what I down deep need to do.
    Thank You for posting so quickly.
  • Dawn,
    I too get it. While it is not my child, it is my sibling (older sister- with major drug habit) We too do not allow her in my home or my mom's. She will steal, and she is just very sick. It is super hard to detach and it certainly does not mean you nor I do not love them. I cannot control the worl but I do try and keep my home as a safe place. Keep doing what you are doing and perhaps tell her she cannot stay with you. Really hard. Keep us posted.
  • miki and j are right, please take care of yourself first physically, mentally and emotionally. you will still be her mom and nothing will ever change that . I will say an extra prayer for you as well. Big hugs.
  • Thank You all for the words of support. This is one situation that no Mother ever wants to be put into, but there comes a time when you have to lay it out and let them fend for themselves. If she were to come, I can only imagine what kind of stress would be brought into our home and with me and more so my hubby, that just can not happen right now.
    Thanks Again, I am going to try to get some sleep.
  • Dawn,

    You have to put your own welfare and that of Scott above all else. No one can come into your home without your permission. Stand strong.

  • Oh yes, I am going to stand strong on this. I have to for my health and Scott's health. Neither one of us can deal with the stress of her being here and causing problems.
  • I echo what everyone else said. Tell her she can't stay with you. Also, be sure to stretch those hammies as I'm sure they are tightening up. Then maybe a warm bath?

  • I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through this. We have a situation similar in my family and it's not easy. As the others have said, you have to put yourself and the welfare of your husband and those children first and stand firm. Tough love has that name for a reason- it's hard to do the right thing sometimes but necessary for the greater good.

    Is it possible for you to go and get a massage? I know that when I was having the debilitating muscle spasms that was the only thing that helped me at all. It may take a few visits but may be worth the time.

    Hugs to you for having to do this. You do have the strength because you have all of us behind you, supporting whatever decision you make.

  • Hey Nana,
    I agree with the others.Just to supported it,I had a massage a few times.The first time my therapist told that 40-50% of my problems are due to STRESS.As tough as it may be on you as a mother,try to decrease the stress.
    Another thing on my mind is ICE.It's not the best remedy for muscle spasm.As far as I know,it makes it worse.If you have a hand held shower,use it on your muscles from close range with water as hot as you can stand.I get very good relief this way.
    I hope you feel better very soon!

  • I just wanted to Thank all of you for all of the support that you have given me through this flare up!!!! It has really helped me so much knowing that all of you were here for me!!! I won't say that the pain is all gone, because we all know that/that is not possible. But at least I can tolerate it now. Which some days I do not know why or how I even tolerate those days. But I do and keep going!!!
    THANK YOU ALL!!!!!!
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