Just discovered this community today as I've been struggling pretty badly the last couple days and hope that someone here can provide some advice and/or encouragement. So, about me: I'm currently 29 and was diagnosed at 25 with L5-S1 Degenerative Disc Disease, Spinal & Lateral Stenosis, congenitally shortened pedicles, and ankylosing spondylitis. After the diagnosis, I received 2 corticosteroid epidural injections and PT. The shots worked great for about 6 months and then the PT started to do more damage than good, and right about that time I lost my insurance. Jump forward a couple years and I go to my PCP and get a referral to a pain clinic. Pain clinic won't prescribe opiates due to MMJ use for OCD. Tried Gabapentin and Ibuprofen without much help, insurance denied corticosteroid injections coded both as treatment and as exploratory, had an EMG test scheduled before insurance dropped again. I have 'pinching' pain that feels like my actual coccyx is being pinched; burning, shooting pains down my inner thighs; numbness on outside of calve and left foot; occasional shots of pain up along the side of my spine. Now, not to try and make this a pity party, but just to add some perspective, I have sever OCD that I was diagnosed with at 11 and have suffered with ever since. I spent 7 years trying and withdrawing from every kind of prescription med, herbal remedy, nutritional supplements. known to man, including morphine and antipsychotics. I eventually discovered that MMJ is what works the best for me at the moment, but it took everything i had to get through that process, and it almost killed me. I am just so tired of the fight. I am so tired of getting my hopes up that my suffering might be relieved only to have it dashed again. I feel like I've spent so much time looking for a cure that has proved fruitless and I;m starting to wish I had just used that time doing anything else. I'm just tired of fighting and the thought of going through that whole process again with my pain is almost panic inducing to me and I've been in tears the last couple days. The pain has gotten considerably worse in the last couple years and numerous doctors have remake that I am QUIET young to be having all these issues. I'm terrified that I won;t be able to run and play with my kids, or even be pleasant if I'm going to be in constant pain, how do you keep on going when every single moment you have that gnawing at you in the back of your mind? I would really love for someone to let me know how you deal with it. Do you have these same thoughts? Any advice would be so appreciated.
Thank you, everyone, for your support. Be well