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Hi all Spineys,

It has been a while since I have posted. It has now been 1 year since my direct pars repair surgery. I have definitely gone through complications as well as normal UPS and downs in my healing process. I am now in aqua therapy twice a week and four weeks ago started working 3 half days at work a week.

I guess I am having a bad week and even if no one replies to my post, it is nice to share to get the feelings out.

While my activity has increased, every time I do increase levels I go through major flare Ups that cause extreme pain.

I feel like i have been just surviving from one day to the next..... with that I feel like life is passing me by. I am very thankful that I have made it to this point, however, I have yet been able to walk more than quarter mile at a time as well as sit more than 3 hours at a time. I still have not been out to a restaurant to catch up with friends since my injury in December of 2013. That said, I have lost touch with my friends and feel like I cannot enjoy life. Hence, the depression sinks in at times when I'm in extreme pain.

How do you all get through it? I hate feeling like I am losing myself.... my life revolves around my injury and trying to heal from it. The progress is so slow that I am starting to come to terms with never really being able to get to normal again.

It is a difficult realization for a 38 year old that used to work out 6days a week.

Any words of encouragement are appreciated!
Bilateral pars defect L5


  • We Love you.
    Here at Spine Health,we send you a loving gentle hug
    Its going to be ok
    I'd promise you
    But promises break
    So i'll do my best to be here.
    What more is there to say,..
    Hello,I'me Ranch,and i will be a shoulder for you to lean on.
    William Garza
    Spine-Health Mod

    Welcome to Spine-Health

  • Doug HellDoug Hell Posts: 335
    edited 04/16/2015 - 2:08 AM
    It is an absolute fine line between not doing enough and doing too much on this roller coaster ride to recovery.... Trying to pinpoint that exact area and when or when not to increase is definitely a tricky chore...

    Everyone is different. I am 15 months in and still not where I should be and I was an extremely fit person before any of this happened. You think you're untouchable until something like this happens to you. Then you get down on yourself for not getting better fast enough. Time is the answer, even if it seems it is not on your side.

    My advice to you is to live in the moment, for today. That's what life is all about. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow is too far away! That leaves today. Any one person can take on the BS of just one day. It's when we incorporate the hardships of yesterday and the uncertainty of what tomorrow might bring that things go sideways and become unmanageable. Remember, it's when things get worse that you must not quit!

    Real friends are like diamonds, precious but rare. False friends are like autumn leaves found everywhere. Don't be that false friend! Often times, we are the ones responsible for that based on our spinal circumstances. We withdraw because of the situation at hand, but we must force ourselves to rise above it, despite overwhelming obstacles. You get up to go to aqua therapy, so get up to meet a friend for a coffee! Make the call. Make the date. Overcome.

    The reason to consider life and what's of value is to make sure you're not missing out. Seize the day. What's important to you? What do you care about ? What matters? Pursue that; forget the rest.

    Doug Hell
    Spine-Health Moderator


    Little Things

    Oh, it's just the little
    homely things,
    the unobtrusive,
    friendly things,
    the "won't-you-let-me
    help-you" things
    that make our
    pathway light.

    And it's just the jolly
    joking things,
    the "never-mind-the
    trouble" things
    that make the world
    seem bright.

    So Here's to all the
    little things,
    the "done-and-then
    forgotten" things,
    those "oh-it's-simply
    nothing" things,
    that make life
    worth the fight.

    Realize that FEAR is our worst enemy. Get up & get out in that stormy weather of the real world & kick fear in the teeth. Stare at it dead in the eyes & walk right through it into the storm; because once you're wet, you won’t fear the rain anymore
  • You are such a comforting spirit to people here. You are a gem!
    That is such good advice to constantly bring life back to the moment because that is all any of us have. I found that pain meds made me extremely depressed; I had to stop taking them. Just beware that some of the medication that some of you are on may be a large contributing factor to your severe depression.
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