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Letter to loved ones I can't send this letter to

RexSnowRRexSnow Posts: 1
edited 05/09/2015 - 4:37 AM in Chronic Pain
Let me tell you about chronic pain.
Pain is my life, and I no longer know life without it.
I have CRPS II. The difference between CRPS I and CRPS II is that CRPS II can be blamed on a specific point of origin or event. CRPS I can be irregular and typically appears with spinal surgery or other traumas that later manifests in distal pain. Like a car accident with no injury = later chronic pain in legs or arms, and the sort.
CRPS II is the highest "quantifiable" level of consistent pain measurable. This includes bering a child and all other sorts of pain like breaking a bone or getting stitches. The difference is that IT NEVER STOPS. Let me clarify. IT NEVER STOPS. The amount of pain that I experience on a daily basis could knock you unconscious and leave you in shock for days before you could form a word or butter bread before eating it. I say that because that's exactly what it did to me.
Five years ago I made a mistake. A terrible one at best. I was cutting a 2x12" with a skill saw and the saw kicked back. It lurched back and ran across my right leg 11" across and into my femur. It severed my sartorias muscle, most of my glut and more than half of my quad. All on top of my femoral artery and parts of my femoral nerve.
My doctors were amazing! They saved my life and my leg! But at a great cost. The nerve damage was too much to heal... The nerves tried to grow and reconnect but couldn't.
There's an unusual problem with nerves. They are like radio towers that want to be heard. The problem is, that they keep turning up the volume until they can be heard and by that time it's too distorted for it to be herd as anything but noise. Unfortunately that noise is translated as PIAN. More pure than any sensation. Just screaming, troubling, jabbing, radiating pain.
You know those big trucks they use to flatten new pavement. The ones with the rollers. Think of one of those. Parked on top of your leg but as hot as lava and covered in spikes, not shinny spikes but rusty and gross. That's a fraction of what I feel every minute of every day. Trust me. I'm not kidding. I've asked doctors to remove my leg. And if it was as simple as laying in front of that truck I would have done it years ago. The problem is that they can't identify the right nerves to take out and OMG CRPSII likes to spread! So now it's in my back and traveling down my other leg. Great.
There are treatments though. At best for those on the higher end of the pain spectrum. (Of pain and insurance). I have had 5 spinal blocks and complete femoral nerve blocks that haven't given relief.
I now have a spinal implant that gives direct electrical impulses to the damaged nerves. It helps. I'll be honest. It does. But the second I do anything to aggravate my leg it's all for naught.
So as long as I sit still and do nothing but twiddle my fingers I'm ok.
Just tell my insurance company the same thing.


  • LizLiz Posts: 7,832
    Please take the time to read this post and refer to it when you have questions

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    Doug Hell

    Also working with us very closely is Allison Walsh from the Spine-Health company


    Liz, Spine-health Moderator

    Spinal stenosis since 1995
    Lumber decompression surgery S1 L5-L3[1996]
    Cervical stenosis, so far avoided surgery
  • I have no advise but just wanted to give you a gentle hug. The description of your pain makes mine sound insignificant.
    Artificial disc at L5S1 for 10 years. Had 3 Level lumbar fusion and Laminectomy on Sept 27, 2013. It was an OLIF (Oblique Lumbar Interbody Fusion) with cages, BMP, rods & screws. Norco, Plaquenil
  • I agree with adrjen. my heart aches for you. I know pain and know it well. were here
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