Hello, I am a 17 year old male. 2 years ago I had spinal fusion surgery due to a curved spine. I have been judged in school due to the way I walked which made me a very nervous person. I would shake from head to toe. Even when exercising I would shake. After the surgery I'm not as flexible as I used to be. If I try to stretch too far anything would shake. As of now I'm not in school due to anxiety I guess. I would think about the past events that I find very negative that have happened. I used to get called dumb, gay, or anything like that. I basically have a hard time being myself. I share a room with my brother who is 2 years older than me and I try my best to avoid him because he can be very annoying. He is more outgoing than me. There's nothing like being in my own bedroom and in the house. Once I step outside I lose character. I have trouble focusing on everyday life. I'm too worried about what other people think. Once I walk pass a person staring I would start to shake as I am walking by. Once I hear a negative comment or a laugh I would probably snap my neck or take the jab and then I would go home feeling awful for the rest of the day. I'm trying to get rid of the nerves but they just won't go away. I've been drinking lots and lots of water and taking gummy vitamins. Even after drinking a soda or juice I would drink water right after it. I would get called a loner by my own brother because I don't have any friends when I basically have God and a family. Once I lose control there goes the nerves. I can't do push ups, curl ups, or anything that bends the spine. I would still itch in the upper part of my back or still feel pain if anyone punches it. If I'm doing anything that considers a lot of sweat I start to get this weird feeling in my back. I have trouble communicating with random people that I don't know or I don't hang around with as much. If I do this, my head and neck would start to shake. Sometimes I feel pain in my neck. Once I turn 18 this year I don't want to carry all of this with me. I want it all to go down the drain. I want to feel very strong. I love the body that I am in but I just don't have no control over it. Any advice please?