I have a disease called I.C. Or some know it as painful bladder syndrome. They don't know what causes it or how to stop it. The doctors in my small town don't know much about it all. I have a team of urologist in Nashville, Tn. And none of them agree on the cause. I did learn from Mayo Clinic that it is actually a chronic pain disease and the bladder is just where it starts destroying the lining and causing scar tissue. As it progresses they said it will "copy" several chronic pain disorders i.e: i.b.s, fibromilagia, lupus (which it is a former of auto immune disease) etc. The only treatment is done by cath inserted and medicine put directly into bladder...so I was at my primary getting labs done for pain pump trial and I was just having a bad day. I go from anger to sad..I just can't wrap my mind around the fact they can't just cure this and I was venting this to my p.c. and she said,"you don't have to get the pump. Pain won't kill you." Seriously?! It's hard enough dealing with my whole life being taken away and having seizures from lack of sleep and the guilt that I can't be the mother,wife and b.f. that I use to be but having your doctor tell u "we can tamper you off all that medicine they (Vanderbilt and pain management ) have you on and you won't be so tired and can be a better mom to your kids again." I left in tears. There is not judgement ppl can have towards me that I haven't already mentally beaten myself up about...I wish I could never go to a doctor again and get my freedom back. I am dealing withat enough and now I feel like I have burdened my doctor. How messed up is that?