This is my first time reaching out for support. I have suffered with pain for almost 20 years now. It started as Psoriatic arthritis progressed to neck surgery then after being on strong meds that weakened my immune system I suffered from fungal pneumonia for 1 1/2 years which almost killed me. Through all of this I have a wife who has been there for me through it all and is my angel. I work in home remodeling and despite the pain I continued to work trying to wait until I was older before filing for Social Security. So self employed I continued and did my best all the while gobbiling down pain meds to get through the day. My pride said you are to young to be on S.S. Now when I can not do it any more I find out that being self employed and not knowing the law about contributing to your S.S. for 5 of the last 10 years I am not eligible for help. So by waiting until I was basicly unable to work and not wanting to take advantage of S.S. when I could still work I am now unable to receive help. I have tried many times and get turned down . I have the credit but because I waited to long to ask for it its not there any more. I went back to school and am 3/4 of the way to a associates degree and cannot afford to finish the schooling. I am close to losing my home and everything we have worked so hard to achieve. My future is nothing but pain if I new I would have a home which is on a 15 year mortgage and 5 years from being paid off it would be easier to cope with but now I don't even know if I can pay next months mortgage. I realize there are many, many, many others who are in the same or even worse situation out there but it is just therapeutic to tell my story. I have no family besides my wife and because I am pretty much unable to live an active life no friends to speak of I do not expect a miracle but I am tired of praying and asking for guidance and help or direction maybe a sign or even a $50 winner on a scratch off lotto which I am ashamed to say I spent $5 on hoping for a miracle. I do not know what I expect to come from this but I had to tell someone how I feel I can not burden my wife anymore I try to keep a strong front for her not to worry her anymore than I have. Well hats it thanks for reading this and God Bless all who are in pain and I pray for your peace and recovery soon JPH
James P. H.