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I'm pregnant and so scared I won't be able to cope with pain and back injury!!

findingfaithffindingfaith Posts: 2
edited 07/27/2015 - 4:13 PM in Chronic Pain

I'm hoping that there might be some people who have gone through a pregnancy and raising children with serious back injury and long-lasting chronic pain.

I have complex failed fusion between L2-L3 and L4-L5, the lower one has never fused and the upper has fused in a rotated position causing scoliosis and kiphosis. I have lots of disk degeneration and lots of pain, both muscular and neural.

I am so scared I just won't be able to manage if the weight of bearing a child increases my pain significantly, not to mention doing futher damage during pregnancy or childbirth, not to mention then carrying and caring for a young child.

My doctor has been pretty vague, saying he's not sure how it will affect things, offering little advice and leaving me very much to make my own decision.

I'm not in the best situation relationship wise as it's a very new relationship, and whilst the father is a great guy and would be supportive and loving as best he could, i don't think he really understands the day-to-day realities of living with chronic pain as we're not living together and havn't been together long enough. He has lots of other commitments with work and three children from his previous marriage so i guess i feel like it'd have to manage myself so a large extent.

I'm in the really early stages of pregnancy and seriously close to having an abortion, but just wanted to hear from any mums who have managed to make it work whilst living with chronic pain - I long so deeply to have children and i worry that as my back has been getting worse over the last 12 years and is continuing to degenerate i might really regret terminating this pregnancy.

I'm nearly 30 now but the reality of chronic pain makes my body feel so much older - and i worry that if i;m struggling so much with my own, pain, lack of work/roles/meaning, depression... maybe i'm just not able to be a mother!?!?!

This feels like its ripping my heart in two... the limits of by body/pain/injury crushing the dreams i have for life and love and building a family.

Hope to hear from people with some experience of this,

Thanks so much


  • PlumbTuckeredOutPlumbTuckeredOut Philadelphia, PAPosts: 325
    I cannot say that I had kids. The pain often kept me away from sexual relationships most of the time but I have experience with people who have fear and anxiety regarding the unknown. I know people who swear they will not be able to handle- and they list many different things. What is helpful is thinking about right at this very moment. We don't know what will happen in the next 30 minutes let alone the next 3 months. All we have, any of us have is right this very moment. What we learn is that things we are sure we will not be able to tolerate are very tolerable once we are in that moment. And I'm thinking this is what your doctor is saying too.

    Keep accepting that you are doing the best you can at this very moment. You know that right now is okay and you will deal with tomorrow when it comes. Accept that whatever decision you make will be the best decision for you at this time. Don't allow emotions to take over. You can only do your best at any given time.


    Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the one less traveled by...... (Robert Frost)
    I still don't know if I should have taken the one that said, "Caution! Dead End" (Me)
  • I manage Spine-health's blog, and a couple of years ago I wrote about one of our forum members who had a spine fusion while mothering young children. While her story is different than yours, you may find hope in how she also faced a very scary situation. I like what PlumbTuckeredOut said-just do the best you can and know it's good enough. One small step at a time. You can see her story here:

  • thank for replying, and i have also managed to find a few online forums with mothers and mothers-to-be really facing similar situations which has been really helpful.
  • What a coincidence! Someone emailed me their blog today, all about back pain and pregnancy. I hope this helps!

  • LisajgxLLisajgx Posts: 9
    edited 07/28/2015 - 11:27 AM
    . I'm 14 weeks pregnant and so far so good. But like you I'm not sure what to expect.
    I'm happy for you to pm me on here or email me off the blog and I can share my experiences with you or answer any specific questions you have.
    I'm not a medical professional just a normal person with a back problem who's pregnant.
    I just want to help support other women like me so you don't feel so alone and uncertain about the future.
    Please contact me if you want to chat.
    Thanks Lisa
  • Hello I am currently pregnant with my third child ATM only 10 weeks. I've back issues ever since I got pregnant 6 years ago with my first child. I am very scared though I know I will get through it.

    I only found out for sure I had a bulging disc after my second but I've had these symptoms since my first so most likely I gave birth with the bulging disc with the second. I was able to have a natural birth with both my children however I did get an epidural and it failed half way though with the second I think this may have been due to the discs bulging. I have never had surgery yet though I have been told it is an option for me if the pain gets so bad obviously after pregnancy.

    This time I am not so sure as my back throws out quite a bit these days and I get alot of leg pain. It's all unknown but I have to try and be positive. So far looking after my children hasn't been too bad. There is heartbreaking moments when you have to say no to them being lifted when they are older. Though children are very adaptable and learn quickly that mummy has a sore back.

    I think you feel guilty for having a bad back alot when you are a parent but its not your fault. If you ever need to talk pm me.
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