I have been alone for 6 years now, I used to be so great with ladies! I was never alone. I had a life. That has been robbed from me due to chronic pain related to permanent back problems.
Here are some reasons why women likely won't go for me right now and maybe you too. My goal is to express my thoughts as to why I believe I am single, and to work on these! Hopefully some of you others out there can relate and tell me how you fought through.
1. Negative attitude... Yup I have this ten fold. It is hard to stay positive when you're in pain 24/7, don't sleep well, are tired all the time, and can't do much beyond sit or lay down. I feel completely useless and basically am useless. No one, and I mean no one, wants to be around a negative person, I don't even want to be around me, let alone be me. I don't see myself from someone else's shoes but I am certain I am negative all the time. I can't even catch myself in the act or stop it anymore. Negativity has become "normal me".
2. Lifestyle... Well mine is pretty dull, sit, lay down, TV, video games, not much going on here. When I go out, it is to the bar, what else can I do? I can't play sports like I used to. I used to meet all of the women I dated at sporting events, while I was running, or hiking, biking, kayaking, etc. I honestly have never met a women I dated while I was sitting at a bar which is about the only thing I can do now. I am still in shape, but I can't meet other in shape people because I can't play sports or play any reindeer games. I get invited, I play, I trash my back and that's the end of it for a few months for recovery time. Just once playing volleyball this summer has drove me far back into pain for the last 2 months!
I am working on this even still! I am fighting through my pain to do more. I may be going crazy and losing sleep in this process, maybe it is a losing battle, I soon shall find out.
3. Your intent... After being alone for 6 years I am certain I come off as needy, clingy, etc, probably overwhelmingly so! I think we all know as men, women need to have the feeling they are "chasing" you sort of speak. We need to be in to them but not come off as needy. Well that is pretty hard when you have been completely alone for 6 years, truthfully I am in need of someone to help take care of me, how can I overcome neediness?
4. Confidence... what confidence? Oh yeah, thats gone! What do I have to be confident about? I can't do anything, I can barely take care of myself. I can't even change brakes on my vehicle anymore alone, the tires are too heavy!!! So I can still change my oil, big whoop... I have my mind, again, wow, being a genius never got me anywhere before, it was my athleticism. Seems ladies like athletes, I can actually guarantee they do. Basic human instinct. We can not fight millions of years of evolution (if you believe this, I do).
5. Appearance... well, it seems I can still keep this at a level that is acceptable by most women, after all they do still approach me, although I still don't get out enough to make this work for me. Plus I think they instantly notice my negativity, and neediness... then walk off.
I am thinking these over and working on myself. I can't be alone any longer. It is do or die time. I hope that seeing these concerns or thoughts I have help someone else. We who are in pain have to work infinitely harder than other people to be "normal", that's all we can do is fight to fit in.