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Need some Support!!!!!

AnonymousUserAAnonymousUser Posts: 49,671
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:19 AM in Depression and Coping
I have debated on posting this the better part of the day and have only glued myself to my bedroom watching TV and just sitting here in tears and totally with-drawn. This has always where I have come to help others instead of asking for help for myself.
As some of you know, I am having to take a stand with my daughter and her husband preventing them to have an easy time of coming in from out of town to stay with us and then work toward hiring an attorney and trying to get a court date with-in a very short amount of time. After much soul searching and talking husband and I have made our minds up that our daughter will not be staying with us.
I am feeling about as low as a parent could feel right now
So, I am asking for some simple help and support.


  • I don't know your situation but vou have helped me in the past so I would like to try to help you. My husband and I got married in our early 20's. I was 20 he was 21. We lived with his parents. As long as we were there we didn't have any responsibilities. We drank a lot and were always blowing whatever money we had on going out and partying. We would come and go at all hours and do what we we pleased.We didn't have to pay for rent, utilities, or groceries. We were losers. My in-laws finally got smart and kicked us out. Yes we were very mad at them. We begged them to help us and they refused. We struggled for years. Finally we decided to grow up and take responsibilities for ourselves. It was hard but we both eventually made some thing of ourselves. Now 15 years later my husband is a respected fire fighter/paramedic who is also a Captain on the fire department. I ran my own (but very small) cleaning business untill I hurt my back. Now we thank God that my in-laws had the love and courage to kick us out. I hope this helps you feel better in your decision and I will keep you in my prayers.
  • You know in your heart that you have reached the right decision. I know you have agonized over it for a long time. Now is the time to stick to your guns. Please do not give in. Your life would become a miserable, living hel*.It is hard when we love our children, but know that what they are doing is wrong. You have to do what you feel is right. Please be at peace with your decision.

    Hugs & Prayers
  • As a parent I have found the saying "this hurts me more than it will hurt you" is truthful at times. Sometimes I have to look down the road towards their future and not so much with the nows. One day you will look back and smile, because your daughter will thank you. One of mine did..

    take care..

  • dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 9,842
    I understand your situation and I know that it had to be a difficult decision to make.
    I am sure its very difficult right now, but in the long haul, you will find that you and Scott made the right decision.
    Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator
    I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
    You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com
  • I know down deep that I have made the right decision, but I may have lost her for good.
    I had to force my husband into agreeing that this was the right decision for us to make. So now do I not only see the hurt in my eyes, I have to see the look in my husband eyes also.
    We are going to go see the kids today, so just maybe that will help the mending that this has done to me and my husband. I know that the whole thing is about saving these kids from a life that who knows what could happened. My Grand-Daughter has said so much stuff that you do not hear coming from a child of only 3. She goes into panic attacks at the thought of even thinking she may have to go live with her Mommy. Much less even have to have to even to visit with her.
    I can not even begin to bring out everything about my daughter and her husband and how poor their parenting skills are.
    I will do my best to let everyone know how this ends up. I am hoping that by not staying with us, she will not show up at all.
  • Dawn,

    I know you think you have closed a door with your child and that may be true for right now. However, from past experience I will tell you that she will come around. It may take a long time, but family connections and problems can be resolved.

    Your main interest right now is on those lovely grandchildren. You have to be their advocate and make sure that they have the best life they can have. You know that is not with your daughter and someday she will realize that you made the right decision even though it tore you apart to do it.

    Parenting is one of the hardest jobs in the world and it never ends. You will love your children all their lives even when they mess up, but you have to be the parent and make the best decisions you can when they don't act as the adults that they are.

    You know you made the right decision. Now all you have to do is accept that you did what is best for the grandkids and forgive yourself for hurting your daughter. She will be OK and so will the grandkids. So you need to be OK too. Don't be so hard on yourself for doing the right thing.

    Huge Hugs,
  • Nana...the above verse is "i can do all things throught Christ who strengthens me". if you are familiar with it, great...it helps to receive a reminder. if you don't know it, Christ is there to offer you strength...reach out and take his help. i pray for only the best outcomes with your life trials right now.
  • Hi Nana,

    I'm not a parent, but I always use the rule of thumb, would you execpt that treatment from a stranger? I feel just cause family is family it doesn't give them the right to just walk all over you. I think you are doing the right thing. I know you have such a big heart and it doesn't mean that you are being a bad parent, sometimes people just don't get it.

    Hang in there ok? Big Hugs! Pebbs
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