My first entry, I don't even know if anyone is listening. I had undiagnosed scoliosis & degenerating discs when i fell while climbing in Glencoe in Scotland 6 years ago.........and so began my journey of pain. I'm not doing well, i had xlif 2 years ago at left side to fuse collapsed lumber vertebrae with cage & artificial bone graft, this fusion pretty much failed & disc below collapsed. In January 2015 I had another xlif procedure from the right hand side to address this further collapsed vetibrae , i was then put on my tummy and had posterior lumber surgery to stabalise the 3 lumber vertebrae with titanium rods and bolts. My pain is worse, i don't feel as though any of this has been worth it, i have what appears to be some sort of flank hernia, a massive bulge at my right side which protrudes to the size of an orange as the day progresses & worse if i cough, sneeze, or laugh... (which i don't really do very much) my MRI, X-ray & CT scans all appear to be ok from the surgeons point of view. i'm 56 , depressed, in chronic pain, struggling at work, and hoping for a light at the end of this 6 year long black tunnel. Or is this my life now? Do i just have to get on with it, manage the pain....whatever that means, my life consists of struggling to & from work (pretending i'm ok,) home I lie in bed, no social life is only break i get, because everything else is pain. Im i expecting too much too soon? feeling desperately alone with this.