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Could you ever be truly happy if you healed?

I have been in chronic pain since 2004, manageable until 2011 when another injury damaged my central nervous system and changed my life forever. I met many people during my spinal issues from 2004-2011 that had very bad , terrible suffering and now I have met people with central nervous system damage from spine injuries or other causes and diagnosed with central pain and their suffering is beyond what I could have even believed possible. Suffering in a way no human should, a pain so great it changes your hormone production, endocrine production, homeostasis of your body and relentless pain 24/7 that actually can kill you by damage to your heart and internals. If I healed today I would be left with the scars of the children i have met with this relentless pain and the humans that have lost everything ( friends , family, income, job, indentity, emotion, feelings and many more). So even if somehow i all of a sudden healed, I could never look at the world the same or believe the same things I used to about religion, hard work, faith, never giving up and the medical field. I cannot stand the suffering some endure in this life and my heart breaks for each and everyone suffering that way, its inhumane to me. If I healed I would be crushed by a huge guilt that those people are still suffering immensely and I don't know that I could ever be truly happy because I would not understand why I get to be and they have to suffer, I have never once thanked god or anyone that I am not like someone worse, you are thanking at expense of others to feel better. Maybe it's just me and of course I would rather be healed , but I am forever changed by the suffering I have seen and met. I can never begin to understand it. What about you guys? I feel overwhelmed by the stories I have come across and just questioning suffering right now because some of it does not make you any stronger, it just makes you not your true self. I guess if I healed I would try to dedicate my life and time to helping those people suffer a bit less.
Do your due dilegence, trust you know your body and question everything if it does not fit. Advocate for yourself and you will be suprised what will be revealed trusting your body and instinct.


  • dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 9,846
    in all the years we have known each other on this forum, I think that this was one of your best and most genuine and compassionate threads.

    It makes me happy that we have had our ups/downs over the years. I know I can always count on you for having a more 'in depth' meaning to any thread.

    All I can say, is that I am proud of what you just posted. Its people like yourself, who understand, but at the same time are more concerned about others than yourself.

    Thank you, and that comes from my inner soul.
    Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator
    I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
    You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com
  • dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 9,846
    edited 09/30/2015 - 12:54 PM
    Could I every be truly happy if I was healed....
    I guess I never look at a situation where I was totally healed. Never thought about that.

    But what makes me happy is just being here as the moderator on Spine-Health and trying to help others the best I can.
    Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator
    I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
    You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com
  • Sheri76Sheri76 Michigan Posts: 486
    I would be as trulely happy as I know how to be. I have always been a servant kind of person, so being able to do more for others, and for a longer period of time, would bring me immense joy.
  • I don't know if I would be truly happy but I'd be willing to try and find out. I think I would have more money for things I want instead of things I need. I would have more time for fun things and to cook healthier. Sounds good to me.
  • SavageSavage United StatesPosts: 5,427
    Another thought provoking question!

    I'm sure I would be happy to be without pain!
    I very much agree with you about how some of our experiences really open our eyes to the suffering of others, and we are changed forever.
    You mentioned guilt and I can relate. Even watching the news can be difficult for me ....the suffering in the world that I have escaped by virtue of where I was born.

    But I believe I would be able to find a way to encourage others with their chronic pain as one who truly lived it.

    Not sure if this makes sense, but ex, I think of it as enduring my divorce, a long term marriage and left with my three children. Rug pulled out from the world I knew. Unexpected and hit me hard. I didnt think I'd recover.

    Prior to that, of course I knew people divorced and they were hurt, but never realized the depth of pain, betrayal, aloneness, etc...
    Now when I learn of friends, family going through it, I try to be a person they can lean on.
    And to be able to share what I had learned.
    With time, my realizing my pain was not wasted as I was later able to be somewhat of a comfort to others.

    Spine-Health Moderator
    Please read my medical history at: Medical History

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