Hello, I'm a mess. I've already had C4-C7 from 3 separate fusion surgeries and I also have debilitating lumbar disc degeneration.(a whole other story). I have Fibro Mialgia and have lived in Chronic pain for the past 9 years and haven't been able to work since 2006. In June I had MRIs for my entire spine and brain and each had not so great news, but the worst is my neck. I have Bone Marrow Edema formed completely over C1 and is now eroding over C2 vertebras. In most cases BME is caused by Rheumatoid Arthritis, but I definitely do not have RA. While trying to find the cause, I've been through hell because I found out besides the Lyme Disease I had found last year, Babasia and Bartonella are now positive and these diseases have left me unable to fight infections and are litterly destroying my organs and is most likely what caused the BME in my neck (I also have it on L5, but spine doc believes that's from degeneration). I have to see a hematologist to check for some mutated genetic diseases that run in my family as well as Lymphoma, My spleen seems enlarged,and my Liver and Pancreas Bile Ducts are enlarged and now i have to have a complete abdominal MRI. I'm also having a new cervical MRI at the end of this month just to see if further erosion has occurred and if it has as my pain doctor suspects it has I will have to have surgery ASAP. Here's the problem, if I have this surgery, I will lose all motion of my head and most of my upper body and will only be able to turn from my waist which will cause more pressure on the already degenerated discs and vertebras. for me it will be my forth fusion and the C3/C4 has it's own problems as well as C7/T1, so I'm pretty much SOL here. As for the pain, I don't know how much more pain meds I could possibly take since I've been on Morphine and Oxycodone for 9 years. If I don't have the surgery I've been given two completely different opinions, 1 doc says I will be in no danger if I have a bad fall or in another accident and one says I could definitely become paralyzed now or later if I have a bad fall or accident. I worry because I'm losing my balance more and more often than I used to. So, when/if the surgery occurs it will completely change my life as I know it and has caused very deep depression knowing all of what is going on in my body. I'm just looking for anyone who has/is experiencing anything like this because I'd like to know is how they are dealing with this devastating situation. We are looking for a way to change my car seat to turn when I stop so I'll be able to drive and completely redesign my art studio so everything is at eye level because I'm an avid crafter since becoming disabled and if I lose that ability, I hate to even think of it so it's not going to be an easy feat to make these changes, so I'm looking for suggestions here too. Any feedback is greatly appreciated!