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I think I got duped by a liar

GingersnapsGGingersnaps Posts: 2
edited 10/19/2015 - 8:21 PM in Lower Back Pain
So I let someone move in who claims to have lower back problems. She was trying for dissability but got dropped. Anyway I have back pain and have never has the extreme responses she seems to have and the only difference between what wrong with her and me is she has a bulged disk but the doctor feels her pain is nerve pain and weak muscles.
I have a pinched nerve and weak muscles from dealing with it for over 10 years before I started seeing a pain doc. I find the more I move the better I feel within reason. Lying or sitting or standing in the same spot for a long time hurts. Mornings are the worst for me, I have to use a heating pad before I get up and it takes about an hour for the pain to good down enough it isn't the main thought on my mind. I avoid narodics like the plague and only take neuroinhibiters and otc meds.
So the thing is she weighs about 300lbs and stays in bed almost all the time. I've told her if her doc knew he'd rip her a new one. She says it hurts too bad and ONLY laying down helps. When she does get up she makes a point to double over like she's in labor. Physical therapy made her cry so bad on the second visit he said don't come back I can't help you. She can walk just fine without a limp unless she's making a big fuss about not being able to do anything. On the day I helped her move she was doubled over crying in pain the whole time like even packing a box was too hard. When she saw the doc absolutely every place he touched she winced in pain and acted like she might fall. All this and she can completely rearrange a room full of heavy furniture. I never would have dared to do that alone.
I will not allow her to be on narcotics in my house [bc] Please do not use abbreviated text talk I have kids and she also drives my car. She's always screaming she don't like them but she was on them for 2 years before moving in and keeps trying to get them claiming nothing else works.
So I'd like to know from people who actually experience back pain what do you think the chances are she exaggerates her pain?



  • LizLiz Posts: 7,832
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  • 2dgs4cmpany22dgs4cmpany Posts: 200
    edited 10/20/2015 - 1:54 AM
    I do not believe in judging a book by its cover or a life I haven't lived. So I'm trying not to do that with you. In my most kindest advice, since you asked: your room mate is not you. You simply cannot measure your life or pain against anyone else's. It sounds like you handle pain differently than she does...and that is not at all surprising. We are human and not Barbie dolls. None of us is a duplicate of another. You are beautiful and unique, as is she. Please consider changing your attitude if you intend to continue living with this person. If that isn't possible, please separate. Your post really broke my heart, for her because of your judgement. And my heart breaks for you because of you closed mind-ness.

    Wishing you the peace of mind to worry about yourself and hold only you to your standards. I think you must be a kind person too...none of us are all wrong or all perfect. I read you shared your car use. That is incredibly thoughtful, truly. I'm thinking you would do well to start with focusing on the kind you that opened your home and car. From there remember to not measure your pain or life against anyone's, because no one is awesome as you and you are no more awesome than anyone else.

    I think it is great you feel better when moving. I too had that ability in my thirties. Now in my forties, I'm a heat pad girl and having to be in bed and on pain medication more than I like, my operation is Friday (.finally)!! I would hate for anyone to judge me in my current non working state. It's not a complete snapshot of the whole me.

    I normally would not respond to such an angry post to be honest. And I will not be writing more, as I have surgery coming and am crazy busy preparing. Just know there is only so much life we get. Why waste a second worrying about others. Enjoy yours! Wishing you joy and happiness.
  • I am only asking for experiences of other people who have had pain due to bulged disk and pinched nerve since I have no clue if a bulged disk can cause a person to be nearly crippled one minute but able to do anything the next. My mother in law has several bulged disks and is unable to walk long distances but I've never seen her double over in pain out of the blue.it just seems so convenient that it's any time I ask for a little help with something like cooking. I have never doubted she is in pain but I just get the feeling she exaggerates for attention. The doctors can't even explain why she is in as much pain as she appears to be. I guess I'm feeling taken advantage of since she makes almost no effort to help with anything. She lies to me all the time about stuff then I end up having to bail her out of the lies. This person is my sister who I had not seen in a few years and I'm just so shocked that it's already reached a point where I don't trust her. I want to help her get on her feet but I'm just so frustrated.

    Either way I am glad I found this forum and plan on looking through previous posts. I have bad days where I just don't want to get up or I overdo myself and hurt more than normal for a couple days and think I may find some helpful ideas to help deal with it.
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