Hi II'm Taize
Live in N.Ireland, early 40s, single, live alone(pine for a dog!), c5-6 stenosis, c6 nerve root impingement, 5 years to acdf possibility. 1st symptoms 5 years ago, catalogues of wrong diagnoses and treatments. Surgery 1st tabled (pun!) 4years ago by surgeon with as much bedside manner as a lamp. G.p +2nd opinion against it. Fast-forward to year 3 of injury (2years after Mr lamp), 2nd surgical opinion + 2nd MRI, neurosurgeon told me, surgery only possibility for recovery. Referral by NHS (g.p. said best 500 euro I ever spent), waited 5 months to see 2nd NHS surgeon who was amenable and in agreement. Fast forward to this year 5th in December and I've been waiting 13months, so long they had to repeat the MRI now have 2 osteophytes narrowing the foriminal canal which have to be chiseled off. I won't know if metal hardware or some kind of paste? Will be used as glue, at the pre-op they sent a junior doctor so am unclear.
My question is, to those living in u.k? I am a second carer in that I do not work for all the reasons above, (I do volunteer) and I support my dad in caring for my mum who has severe M.S. and 2 other serious conditions, she requires 24/7 support, I have no partner nor no friend able or willing to care for me at my home. I am on 7days notice or 24hr notice if cancelation for acdf, my father knows it is coming but has no idea it is finally imminent yet because of serious life events i n our family that have taken precedence, my mum has no clue about my needing op(though she knows op exists) as stress affects her conditions and the stress of her stressing me for the past 13months, if she HAD known would have been too much for us both. I aim to tell them when I get the call which could be,no Guarantee! Before Christmas, I am fully physically prepared thanks to a list from here, not prepared for isolated enclosure apart from TV n internet just in! I have written out the short factual parts of what has happened, why I have not told her, all possible facts n figures re op n outcomes, how I am going to manage and what she\they can do for me I.e. stay calm!
Anyone else single with elderly parents and facing surgery? Any psychological advice or 'wish I had done that's advice for me and or to give my parents? My friends are either married\with kids\live in other countries and\or have I'll health of their own. I belong to a church that appears to support it's members at times like this, let,,'s see!
I didn't understand the welcome thread i n where I could/should post MY introduction message so forgive me.