Help! I am 26 years old, I was working as a full time veterinary nurse in a neurology department for dogs (to much lifting and carry of patients with out any equipment) for the last 3 years.
I had an injury in March 2015, it started as what I thought was a pulled muscle (I have no previous back problems) but by day 4 I realised it was something more. Initially I got diagnosed with a slipped L4/5 disc. After a further 2 months (this is 3months in total at this point) and several rude doctors saying that it was not bad enough for surgery I decided the pain was so unbearable to get a second opinion privately. With out the scans present the doctor ( a specialist in spines) explained that I would most definitely need surgery but he would confirm once he checked the MRI. This happened the following day and I found out that it was not just a disc but a nasty stress fracture of L5 spondylolisthesis. So by the time I get to have surgery it has been 7months in constant pain, pins & needles, sciatica, numbness buckets of pills etc. I have had two screws placed and a bone graft (totalling at £8000 excluding previous costs). Now initially improvements were fast, I could curl my toes for the first time in 7m and almost no sciatica, but that's it, I am almost 3w post operation and I am still experiencing that horrible chronic dull pain. Maybe I'm expecting to much and this is to be expected but I'm mentally really struggling. I feel empty, I only get out of bed in the morning because my meds are down stairs and if they wear off well we all no what oxycodone worn off fells like. I have so many visitors and they all keep saying how well I look, when will I be back at work etc and it's driving me crazy because I'm wearing a brace so I can't hunch over! And if they could physically see pain they wouldn't say anything at all! I have no motivation, I cry for no reason at all. I used to be very creative and interactive but now I feel exhausted all the time yet I can barely sleep weather it's at night or during the day. I feel so guilty for my partner who I am extremely surprised is still here with me, If she left me I would let her go ... Because I just want her to be happy and this last year has been hell, I have been through hell and taken her along for the ride. How much longer do I have to deal with this for? Will it ever go away? I can't really remember what my life and who I was before but I was happy and grateful, I just want the old me the old life back.
Sorry it's so long I just need to get it out. Thank you for reading.