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I lost my job

AnonymousUserAAnonymousUser Posts: 49,671
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:19 AM in Matters of the Heart
I just lost my job about an hour ago...I'm so sick to my stomach and I'm so tired and beat down...I lost it because "I always had something going on" and then my mother in all of her brilliance said she wasn't surprised, that you can't miss as much work as I do and I have to suck it up and go to work no matter how much pain I'm in...The funny thing is that I missed maybe one day because of pain, the others I missed because of my trial and my doctors' appointments...Just came in and said I have to work at least 3 months without missing a day...I COULD KILL HER RIGHT NOW! I had to go to f'ing TRIAL you dumb b*%$#...

I just can't win for losing, can I? And I'm sure I asked to get into ANOTHER car accident, right? That's really what I wanted, never mind I didn't even miss a DAY or an HOUR afterwards, although I saw some one call in today because they had one (an accident)...I am so beat down right now and I don't know if I could feel much worse...Happy Birthday to me, right?

This has happened for the past 2 years right around my birthday...Lose boyfriend (check), lose job (check), have my heart shattered (check and check)...I can't do this anymore. And I can't get my car fixed because the deductible is $1250!

I hope you guys are having great days though. Hugs to all of you, I don't know what I'm going to do...


  • Unbelievable. You are really getting dumped on lately, aren't you? I am so sorry. I don't have any advice to you except to keep putting one foot in front of the other, figure out what your next steps will be and continue on. Have a good cry (or is that another good cry?) but try not to let yourself get too down in the dumps as it's harder to get up again. Do something nice for yourself today if you can.

    OBTW - HAPPY BIRTHDAY! for what it's worth.
  • Sorry to hear you lost your job....
  • How long have you been working for this place? I am wondering if you would qualify for unemployment insurance payments. You may want to check into that.

    Sorry you lost your job. That has to hurt, with everything else you have going on. My employer held my job for a long time for me, but they eventually replaced me. I am a firm believer that when one door closes another one opens. Maybe there is a better job for you out there that will be more accommodating with your health issues.

    Mothers can be insensitive (I know, I am one), but they mean well. I don't know how old you are, you look pretty young, but it seems that no matter what I say to my 19 year old son, it is wrong. I don't mean for it to come out in a bad way, he just interprets it wrong. Give your mom a break and have a heart to heart with her when you have had a chance to cool off.

    Go do something fun tomorrow since you don't have to work, and then next week hit the streets and find an even better one. Sending you cyber hugs (((((())))))))

    Surviving chronic pain one day at a time, praying for a reprieve because living another 40 years like this doesn't sound too fun!
  • In my usual style, I won't try to sugar coat things by telling you how easy it will be tomorrow or the day after. Right or wrong, people like us have an affliction and must learn how to deal with it, as life doesn't stop for anybody. It certainly didn't for me when I first was injured 18 years ago as a young US Army officer.

    Nonetheless, I managed maintain career progress, despite the pain. I honorably served my time for Uncle Sam, doing it with a badly herniated disc, spinal stenosis, and many symptoms. Even after my fusion 2.5 years ago, when my pain was a 10 of 10 every day, I somehow managed to forge ahead.

    Look at people like Cindy, aka "Neck of Steel". Look at her neck. I can feel her pain but she bravely and resolutely keeps a good attitude and fights her afflictions head on.

    Dig deep and fortify yourself for the coming challenges. Sure, look ahead to medical technology and even the passage of time bringing physical and emotional healing. Vent. Cry. Rail at the world. It sure felt good when I did it!


    You seem like a bright and beautiful young woman. You can and will find a way to carve out a good and meaningful life. Don't let these things get you down. There's always something that life throws at us. Trust me, I'm "only" 42, but I see all kinds of twists ahead...as if I didn't have enough already.

    You're in good company!

    Cheers, Mate
  • In the past few days it seems more and more of us are losing our jobs! Lets just say that it's our employers loss and our gain as something bigger and better will come our way soon.

    Fancypants,I'm sorry you lost your job too. Your mum prob thought she was helping and talking aloud what she was thinking. Don't let it get to you. Think positive and look to the future. Don't let this beat you.

    I've had a couple of days now to mull it over and I feel better and am staying positive although at times I do think if this nightmare will ever end but I really don't want this to take over my life and i don't want to give my employers the satisfaction either.

    Something better will come your way and you will find love again when you least expect it.

    Chin up hun.

  • Fancy...i know what you're going through..i went throught it 2 yrs ago this week. Do your best to get through this, we all are with you. God closes one door, he will open another...so be on the look out. And Happy Birthday.
  • dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 9,833
    Nancy, I am so sorry to hear this news. This does sum up why I didnt see you around much yesterday (I sent you a PM).
    Boy, you sure have had a number of things happen right after another.
    There are no words I could say that would make things any better. I could say everything about how bad things were for you or I could say, forget about them and just move on.
    The important thing is that you handle all of this in the best way that you can.
    We can't change the incidents or make things change and get better for you, but we can be here to lend an ear, to offer ideas and advise.
    Things will turn around.
    Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator
    I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
    You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com
  • I swear, I'm going to run away from home, I don't care if I have to live in my car...I can't take it anymore, the constant berating is just too much for me...They're putting me in endentured servitude, ie, I get to be the maid and half that work I can't do, but they won't care...I got lectured again when my stepdad came home about how I can't hold down a job, can't go to work for so and so because I would embarass them, I must be doing something wrong or it must be my attitude, I can't miss work, blah, blah blah...IT WAS MY TRIAL!! And they were more than willing to help me come up with reasons to miss so that I would be able to attend the 500 things I needed to...But I bet as soon as that money comes in, my mother will be coming to me with her hand out...They cut me down into little pieces on a day when I already felt terrible...And no, it won't change today when she's cooled off, she's always doing that to me- between her and my sister, it's time for me to move away, very far away.

    I feel like I was let go because I'm disabled...Because I have doctor's appointments to go to, because I had a trial to go to, when I try and do everything I can after work so it won't inconvenience them...I'm so hurt and upset I don't know what to do, I feel like I'm nothing at all, nobody with no skills and can't do anything right...I'm not going to kill myself but I can't say I haven't thought about it...

    BTW, I started losing jobs after the car accident and one of them I lost, not because of my work but because I couldn't lift 30 pounds...All those got thrown in my face...

    I have to go, my mother is going to get into my stuff and try and see what I posted here, since she thinks it's her business...I'll try and check in later...Thanks for the support.

  • I'm sorry, how old are you??? I didn't realize from your photo that you were a child... At least thats how your parents are treating you.

    I myself live in a situation where my in-laws are always on top of me. No literally, they live upstairs!!! I know how it feels to be constantly insulted and mistreated. I was sitting outside with my son the other day, and my mother in law came out and said to my son "oh my gawd, you're actually outside!!!" Like I somehow deprive my son the privilege of enjoying the outdoors. No I never let him play out front... my neighborhood is far too dangerous. But I take him fishing at least once a week, and we go to my friends houses for cookouts and stuff, and we play baseball with him outside. Just because she doesn't see that... she likes to assume that I sleep all day and keep him locked in his crib. And yes, she has even told people I do that!!

    I know how you must feel right now... kinda like a teenager who just got dumped by her boyfriend. Thats how I felt anyway when I lost my job. It sucks. But it will pass!!! And the grieving over the loss of a job doesn't last near as long as a teenage breakup.

    I wonder if you may have a legal case on your hands??? I would contact a lawyer, before too much time has passed.

    Keep your head up girlie... things will get better!!! =)
  • I'm so sorry to hear this. Family, friends and employers have absolutely no concept about how hard it is trying to live a normal life with the weight of chronic pain hanging round our necks. I know you haven't had time off because of that, but it's taken a lot of energy and will power for you to get to work at all. I've had similar comments made to me in the past, but my family used to run 2 businesses so they are looking at it from the "other side" so to speak.

    You have had so much to contend with recently. I wish I had the answers for you but I just don't - I too have lost my job, my car, my boyfriend and my sanity is at risk of going too! But you will get through it. Try so hard not to let the opinions of the people who are judging you get you down. It's difficult when you don't have family support I know, but you just have to keep being strong.

    Don't do anything rash, rest up over the weekend and then decide what to do from there. Living in your car is not going to be the answer, I promise you. Big hugs sweetie, Spicey
  • I appreciate it more than you know...

    I haven't had a chance to rest or be nice to myself...I was awoken at 8:00 this morning to go pick up leaves in the yard...My f'ing stepfather is waking me up tomorrow morning to do something else that he doesn't feel like doing! I AM SO ANGRY I COULD SCREAM!!!!!!!!!!! Living out of my car sounds so much better than living here with these people...I asked him to wait until Monday, that I had worked almost all week and that it was the weekend! That jerk said, "everyday's the weekend for you"!! Is that a joke? I know I'm strong and I know I can make it through most things and yes, I understand that I need to do chores, but for real?! My birthday is Wednesday and it's shaping up to be a really awful one....

    I don't want to live like this anymore, this is no life for anyone and I just can't do it...This is pushing me over the edge...I went back to Lofton and had them put me back on the active list today...My mother is talking about me not going on the cruise, the only thing that I have to look forward to and SHE'S ENJOYING THE FACT THAT SHE THINKS I WON'T BE ABLE TO GO!! I'm sorry guys, I know I should be tough, put one foot in front of the other, but I'm tired of trying...I'm tired of putting on a brave face while this happens every year at this time (I've lost 3 jobs the past 3 Julys)...I must be the world's biggest loser and my last bits of emotional strength are draining...I don't know how much more I can take, but this is pushing me over the edge...

    Love you guys, hope you had good days...
  • Crap. I'm away, wallowing in my own crap and I completely miss what's happening to you. I'm sorry I haven't been here for you. This sucks.

    Life has a way of testing us, doesn't it? We wonder why, after we endure so much, do we have to have one more thing happen to tip the scales in favor of the unfortunate side. Here's what I've discovered in my 44 years on this planet- Hell if I know!!!

    You know you can get in that car and come visit your surrogate Ma anytime. I have an extra bedroom and a very nice dog to sleep with if you like. Heck, it's like a cabin in the woods! I promise I won't make you mow...

    Hugs from yo Mama,

  • dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 9,833
    Nancy, I feel so bad for you right now. I wish there was something I could do or say that would help you. You definitely seem to be the target from your Mom and Step-dad.
    Do they not understand your medical condition?
    I feel bad and sad for you right now
    I hope I can maybe brush away one tear
    Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator
    I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
    You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com
  • ...to hear that your family are being this way. It's so unfair. But please do not let them beat you down - you are not a loser and don't let anyone make you believe that you are! Keep the faith in your own strength sweetie, because you are way stronger than you believe you are and you will find a way through this. More hugs, Spicey
  • Mama Griff, if I could, I'd be on my way up there right now...

    Papa Ron- They know, but knowing and understanding and accepting are two different things...They don't seem to get or don't seem to care how bad it is...And because I am young, I should be able to suck it up or something else, it shouldn't affect me and it doesn't matter how bad it hurts, I should just deal with it. Really helpful stuff huh?

    Spicey- thanks so much for all of your words of encouragement...

    I'll be on here when I can, it's hard with my mother and stepdad breathing down my neck...And speaking of, I have my chore list to go attend to...THis is going to be a banner birthday I can tell already...

    I'm sorry, I don't have the strength to try and be positive right now...They don't seem to understand that I can't find/keep a job because of my disability and my mother already has a gold star in making me feel worthless, so when a job goes, they start in on how worthless I am...

    I'm just plain tired guys, I don't know what to do anymore...I can't take living here, but I don't have a choice...So it's off to take care of the list...Sorry if I haven't answered your PMs but I don't have a spare second to do it, I had to pretend to do something else to do this post so I wouldn't have my mother over my shoulder...

    Hope you have great days.
  • dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 9,833
    Hi Nancy, sorry to hear about more of the recent developments thare.
    Do no worry about getting to answer PM's or anything . Do what you have to do to keep your head about water, keep your sanity and keep your health.
    Take care
    Papa Ron
    Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator
    I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
    You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com
  • Is there any way you could talk to your employer and maybe
    be really candid about your situation? And also apologize(even though you shouldn't have to) you know, really suck up. Just a thought... you gotta do what you gotta do.
    Try to get on some anti-anxiety-depression medication,I'm taking Zolift and it helps me immensely with the pressure,the hurting and even the things that others do (like your parents)Hope you win your case and feel better.
    Sagehen ;)
  • :) hi! what more can go wrong for you? sorry to hear of family troubles on top of everything else! remember to take care of yourself above all else. you are so important and stress just adds to our pain levels. i know you think how much darker can life get? i hope one thing or another turns around for you soon! take good care! Jenny :)
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