My story is long but I will shorten it up a bit. I hurt my back at work (I have a very physically demanding job that I miss) and yesterday was my one year "anniversary" of my injury.. Part of my story is that with my back injury I did have an annular tear that they expected was leaking. Did the epidurals and still had horrible sciatic pain that no one could figure out why it was so bad. Mylogram, no root sleeve cut off, EMG did show acute issue but mild. Still debilitating pain. Now I know I'm only a year into this but truthfully you come to a point that you will sell your soul to the devil to get better. I was just so desperate. I did one of those prepay chiropractic service things because they said i would get 50 percent better if I signed on dotted line....and I did. So as luck would have it, I did not get better, I am actually worse now. Then I come to find out, I actually have piriformis syndrome which is why I just had debilitating sciatic pain. My marriage, love life could be written on a post it, my husband has to pick up extra hours since I'm off. As if this isn't enough, my father somehow got an infection in his spine. Last trip to ER, they rescanned his back and found infection spread. He had emergency surgery but they only removed half the infection because if they removed it all, they would of had to do a fusion. They are hoping antibiotics will remove rest. So here I lay because I can't sit just felling depressed( no I'm not suicidal). I'm in debilitating pain, my dad who is my rock is worse off than me and also in debilitating pain. Truthfully, how do you get out of the depression cycle? I have to be strong for my dad, which I am, but it is just so hard, physically. Mentally I am all in. Why is it so hard to feel sorry for yourself?