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I feel like giving up.

This chronic pain has plagued me. My wife don't love me like she once did. My daughter acts as if I am non existint. I feel like I am tired of doing this day in and out. My wife told me she is depressed. Don't feel like being here is the best option. Be well all.


  • jlrfryejjlrfrye ohioPosts: 1,110
    Do you see pain management to control your pain? You have to get the pain under control even if it takes a combo of meds, therapy and yes even a psych dr who specializes in chronic pain. I wish you the best and hang in there. There are many here that are here for support
  • I take 40g oxycodone 10mg x 4 per day. I have bowel issues. Potentially cancer from what the drs have said. Waiting on colonoscopy in feb. I just feel tired.
  • SavageSavage United StatesPosts: 5,471
    I, too, have estrangement from immediate family.
    I know the heaviness of heart and pain if can cause.

    Below are some of the hotline numbers available to you from Spine-health.
    I just discovered by using search on this site, that there are variety of numbers available, depending on part of the world youre in, group you may belong to, ex: servicemen.....

    The list of numbers shows that you are not alone in your struggle and weariness.

    Suicide Hotline Numbers
    USA: 1-800-784-2433
    UK : 08457 90 90 90
    ROI: 1850 60 90 90

    Suicide Hotline Numbers for Canada (URL Link)

    When I had my dark time, I sought out psychiatric help.
    I also would use hotline number any time, day or night and or more than once a day.

    Even if I didn't think I'd hear anything new, or my thinking they are lying to me...I would call, and it gave me time to pause.

    You have found an excellent site, not only the members, but much information to get information and hope from.

    I would often come across something that would lead me to questions I would jot down for my doctor.
    And my having pain management doctor has made a world of difference, as mentioned by Susan, above.

    Very open communication with doctor is so important. That includes not only physical symptoms, but emotional also... All you're feeling.
    There are some medications that address the pain and depression...which often accompanies chronic pain..but not to be accepted as normal as there is treatment.
    Spine-Health Moderator
    Please read my medical history at: Medical History

  • Its part of many of us journey to experience this.
    Have no idea of the pains..physical, mental and,emotional we go through..and relapse periodically into.
    Its ok to talk to someone proffesional to help cope, its not a hand out,its a hand up.
    I was 9n anti depressants for a while to cope with all the mental pain associated with physical pain...which sadly is piggybacked by emotional pain.
    Focus on yourself, find a new center,.its ok to,
    You may not feel as if you dont have worth
    But, you are worthy
    You are fully entitled to honor, integrity and respect!
    As anyone else would expect.
    Your hurt
    Your in pain
    "They" whomever they are have to respect that.
    Keep fighting
    Keep on going..at first, by the hour, then day

    You will make,it through this and,many other aspects of pain, and you will surmount them,ALL.

    you will find your feet again
    You will find your,balance again
    You will find a peace again.

    Its not easy..but nothing worthwhile ever is.
    Keep in touch, we have walked in your shoes
    We are all together in this
    Is inevitable
    Is optional
    Be Blessed
    William Garza
    Spine-Health Mod

    Welcome to Spine-Health

  • Thank all of you for the words of encouragement.
  • dilaurodilauro ConnecticutPosts: 9,858
    What you are going through is something that almost everyone that has dealt with chronic pain for more than a year can understand.

    I think most people can understand the physical impacts that chronic pain has on a person, but its the emotional toll that at times can be much harder and more difficult to see and understand.

    One of the aspects about living with chronic pain is that For the most part, we look ok That can always be a problem. People will say,

    "Oh, you look ok, you must be doing fine"

    For the most part, we don't have an easy to see problem. Now, if we had a crutch, a cast, something more visible, people can understand that.
    Almost anyone living in chronic pain, the only real sign of a problem is through their eyes. Eyes never lie. After a while, you learn to understand the look of a chronic pain patient.

    As the patient, we understand the physical and emotional pain we have to endure. But our caretakers, our family, spouse, children, etc can have a much more difficult time. They dont understand what you are going through. They see that you are suffering, but really might not understand it. They see that you can not do the things you did before. They can bring on a level of fear or resentment. They feel that they need to be the ones to do everything, become the bread winner, etc. Its a difficult task.

    It is so very important, that as a family unit, you all can sit down face to face and understand everything. Having open and two way communications is so very critical for harmony in the family. Its tough enough dealing with the physical pain, so make sure you do everything possible to have a crisp and clean understanding of your medical situation. That includes all the things that you can do, as well as the things you can not do.
    Ron DiLauro Spine-Health System Administrator
    I am not a medical professional. I comment on personal experiences
    You can email me at: rdilauro@veritashealth.com
  • I believe that it's my role to be a.provider for my family. I work in a govermnet position. I have always provided. I miss a lot of work now, thankfully have protected leave, but that leave income gap. My wife always makes reference to going to work, which makes me seem like I have failed l, like I am not fulfilling my obligations as a father, huband. It's good to know others understand. Thanks agin.
  • Sorry for the typos typing on phone is hard.
  • Hopefully
    Today has been a better one
    Hang in there!
    William Garza
    Spine-Health Mod

    Welcome to Spine-Health

  • William Garza said:
    Today has been a better one
    Hang in there!
    I am still here. I just feel defeated alot. I am working on myself.
  • This will pass
    And come again, thats the sad part
    The good?
    You get stronger every time...

    You got to want it.
    Seek it
    That inner peace.

    You will adapt, adjust and overcome as you find the new center.

    You didnt fail
    You have not failed
    What happened..happened
    Yuur going to see stages of grief
    May skip over some, or not
    But you will make it

    Everyone processes different
    The sadness will make you want to stagnate
    To just sit and suffer...
    As a go getter?
    You will one day
    When youve had good and enough..get up and start the way again.
    Smarter, stronger and more adaptable.

    You will make it through
    It takes time,and effort..patience and work..bit you will be in the light again.

    We,are spiney
    We understand
    William Garza
    Spine-Health Mod

    Welcome to Spine-Health

  • After 3 years of meds injections and therapy I had a spinal cord stimulator implant , worked wonders for me feel great cut back on meds and now 14 weeks latter I can't do any thing without aggravating the nerves that are damaged. Feel useless and then I come here and find out that I'm not alone. Just knowing that makes me feel better, I don't want to go back on all the meds so slowly I am finding my way to accepting my limits. Hang in there you are not alone
  • See your still hangin in there...Good!
    William Garza
    Spine-Health Mod

    Welcome to Spine-Health

  • chop my leg offcchop my leg off British ColumbiaPosts: 56
    edited 02/13/2016 - 3:09 AM
    This post made me cry.  Hang in there.  I haven't thought about suicide since I found tramadol.  Then the 2nd surgery helped alot.  I still have horrible pain and sometimes I think I need to talk to my Dr. About my depression over my pain and quality of life but I'm to embarrassed.  But these people are right we need to reach out and get not only physical help but emotional help as well.  I'm glad I'm not crazy.  For awhile I thought I was. Now to build the courage by next week to spill the beans.  I'm so thankful I found this site, it's really helped.  The people here understand and are very supportive. 
    L5S1..2 microdisectomies in 30 days maybe one more on the agenda. 4 bulged discs and one of them loves my spinal canal X2 :/ and a compression fracture . And now scar tissue wrapped around the nerve causing horrible neuropathy all over again.   VICIOUS CIRCLE :(
  • Never give up no matter what happens. Unfortunately we've experienced some type of loss around here. I certainly understand. I was dumped after 20 years of marriage but I'm still standing. Moved on and managed to create a new life, and I'm better off for it. Hopefully this won't be the scenario for you and I truly wish things will work out. Chronic pain is tough on us and to everyone close to us as well. Hang in there..
    Ol' Spiney...Microdiscectomy L4-L5, TLIF L4-S1 -post op central disc herniation L4-S1, sciatic nerve damage, retrolisthesis, epidural fibrosis, facet arthropathy, severe DDD & OA.FBSS- Medtronic SynchroMed II pump.
  • GingerellaGingerella New JerseyPosts: 16

    There will be better days ! I know it really don't seem like it right now but there will be. 
    I don't know who you pray to or if you do.. Just know I am praying for you!! 

    Wishing you all the best!

  • Get your butt knocked down..?
    Up with you!

    All you have to do is get up one more time than knocked down..every time.

    Its not a test, nor a platitude...
    Its a way of life
    It hurts to get knocked down
    The more you get up, the more you will.

    William Garza
    Spine-Health Mod

    Welcome to Spine-Health

  • GingerellaGingerella New JerseyPosts: 16
    @ William Garza
    Love all your words of encouragement.
    I'm going to use them for myself to help me through some days !! 
    Thank you ! 
  • I have no answers only empathy.  Sometimes it's enough to just get through today.

  • William I'm so sorry you feel this way and I know how it feels. the thing is no one can understand unless they have been where you are! your family should respect and support you no matter what. I know its hard for them too but they have to realise youre in the physical pain and not them. Have you thought about putting yourself first, maybe doing something just for you. If you could get away and have some time in a nice place alone would that help? I understand this may not be physically possible.

    pian management in your area would be something to look into, then maybe you could speak to a group where people may actually have the same feelings as you and will be able to talk and understand.

    When I was feeling like ending my life because of the pain I found a girl in my work who had the same Given Up look on her face, I started talking to her and we ended up keeping eachother going.
    Having someone in similar situation can help as you can moan and cry and go on as much as you want and they do not judge or complain.
    I say allow yourself to come first time to time as your body needs you.
    Your already stronger than you know because your here
    take it easy
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