Ran into an old aquaintance
He is still out there as usual
He,qas the type who said his pain was 20+on a scale of 10
But never went to the ER....he would crawl into the docs office on all fours..crying, wailing and gnashing his teeth,,that he just couldnt do it anymore..his pain was too much..too big..to high to be humanly possible,to survive..
And would go get a cheezeburger after said histrionics..all smiles, all happy that he got his dix forr another day.
Son of a motherless goat!!
His problem was/is physical addiction
The mental capacity of an,8 yeat old when it came to his needs and wants
And psychologically unable to face the pain...
He would rather eat fire than face his daemons
Lose himself to the high, than be a grown up and think about his issues..
I told him
Pills wont make you stronger, able,to face the pain clearly
"You dont know" excrement" about pain"
And went on to describe how he curled up in a ball
How he cried
"Bad it was"
That i had no idea how it is to face "real"pain..
I grew up with this cat
I knew him from habits
Knew his motivations
Knew his,pathalogical penchant for one upping ANY!
Issue into the worst in the world.
He would lie..lie,lie lie..
And get meds
Get anything he wanted
And would drown himself in meds..
Jealous you say?
As i said
I ran into him
Still a druggy
Still a loser
Still jogging for miles..
Mr..i cant take it anymore
He told,me,i should have lied
Should have embellished
Should have played the system
Both for everyones empathy
And the docs sympathy.
And i would have gotten far.
As he,looked down his nose at me
As i leaned on my cane in the grocery
He is an ugly
I straightened up a little
Looked him eye to eye..
I have my Honor.
And walked away..
As he stood their..trying to figure out what i had that was better..
I have Nothing.
My empathy and Bovine excrement meter broke.
So I dont take BS well anymore.
He cant wrap his head around the fact that
Even though this "failure" of a man has no meds, no treatment, no help whatsoever from any source...
That my pain levels are still the same
Worse in places as my body breaks
I am stronger than what this tough guy will ever be.
And I have my honor intact.
Mine is bigger
Fetal position 20 plus pain worse...
This ex,friend is a reminder
There are all kinds of pain
Pills cant or wont solve them
Lying brings sympathy..a.."stolen valor" of sorts
One upping,is disingenuous at the least
And corrupting to the soul at the worst.
"I have no empathy"
I have no sympathy
I dont know..WONT know the struggle..
Ok rant over..
Just tired of being reminded..
Ime not good enough
In pain enough....
So be it.
I dont have much
But I have my Honor
And for some..
That is enough.
Be Kind to yourself.