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Not sure what's wrong with me...

AnonymousUserAAnonymousUser Posts: 49,671
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:19 AM in Depression and Coping
For the passed couple of days, I've definitely felt as if I've been getting a UTI (urinary tract infection). I don't really have a primary care doctor, just the Osteopath that I see for my back and he is more of a pain doctor than a PCP. I knew that Walgreens had just opened up some of those little clinics that you can go to for minor ailments, and since I'm an employee I thought I would check it out. There isn't one in my store, but there is one in a store near where I live.

They always ask you about medications, conditions, etc. And when she got me talking about my pain, etc, I totally lost it and started crying uncontrollably. I was so embarrased. She wants me to go see someone, and she thinks I need an antidepressant. I've always been a cryer, and with the infection I just haven't been feeling all that hot anyway, and when I don't feel good I always get emotional. The thing is, I don't think I am depressed in the clinical sense, but maybe I am...for as long as I remember, every few months or so I kind of have a breakdown, cry a little, and get over it. I've honestly thought that I've been getting better, both physically and mentally, because I've been a lot more active physically and even a little bit more social.

I hate having to make appointments and stuff, it is enough to have to see my DO. I don't want my life to be run by doctors. The last time I thought I might need an antidepressant I totally chickened out and didn't even bring it up when I went to the doctor- because, like I said, these feelings always pass, and by the time time I can get an appointment, I just don't feel that way anymore. It's not that I'm embarrased, I work in a pharmacy and antidepressants are truly one of the most prescribed drugs around - my mom takes several, as do a lot of other people I know.

I know that it will happen again if I find a PCP, you can't get in for like a week, because it's not urgent, I don't have suicidal thoughts or anything.

Just not sure what I should do, I really don't have all that much money to be throwing around on non-urgent appointments. And I really don't want to go anyway, the side effects of these drugs are pretty bad, and I'm not sure that I want to play the dose adjusting game, I feel like I've been there and done that with the pain meds, and I certainly don't need anything to help me sleep, I've always slept like a baby, even with the pain. Again, I'm just not sure what I should do...


  • Hey there, dont sweat the sadness, your entitled to some sentiment you know, the way the pain is always on,and the limitations ya face everyday,the shame of only being able to perform at what your body wants,instead of where YOU want,its a secret shame we carry inside AS SPINEYS.
    its ok to let go when you need,there is no award for bravery under fire here,we are under the gun 24/7,there is no medal awaiting us..because for some of us there is no end to the fight.
    CRY if you have to,fight because you want to, there is no shame to come among your compatriots,your family in arms as it may be,and let loose the bounds of despair,you have earned the right.

    On top of the yoke of the slavery to pain,the next thing to hit just adds to misery,but you are stronger than that..pain builds a certain character among some of us, it builds the desire to overcome, some? its inborn..others,its there if you look for it where do you fall?

    There is no shame in asking for relief. here... there is no stigma of weakness or a failure of any kind..ok?
    there is only a shared toil in the fields of despair,so dont be afraid to reach out,its only human to reach out for help when its all too much no? just raise the arms and dont be afraid to recieve,your a worthy, viable and valuable person! and have every right to find relief,and ask for relief.

    Your life is yours, you are the final arbiter of your existence,to a point. doctors can tell you and treat you as their calling tells them,The final say is in the ultimate..yours. Some docs dont have any humane manners, were just a nnumber to their check books, but they cannot over rule your wishes,You have the say in your healthcare,you have the right to be treated as a person, you have a right to find relief, you have the right as a person to be PROACTIVE and contributing to your own well being... Its only when you dont care that you give over your soverein right to self esteem to another. you give a person only as much power over you as you will let them, they are there for you PERIOD!

    Find your peaceful,powerful center and build from that, you decide what and how your healthcare needs!
    hope you get the relief you deserve!
    William Garza
    Spine-Health Mod

    Welcome to Spine-Health

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