Hi everyone. Sitting outside watching the flowers because it's one of those days when I just can't do much. My surgery was for spinal cord impingement due to severe spinal stenosis, of which I had no idea until the symptoms became unbearable (rubber legs, incontinence, numbness in arms & legs, soreness everywhere, extreme fatigue).
6 months out I wish I was "perfect" but I'm at a level of functioning I was at a couple years ago when I didn't know what was wrong & was diagnosed with fibromyalgia because no one even considered a spinal problem. So I accepted it until years later when it was apparent that something else was happening.
So, to keep my spirits up on "slow" days like today, I force myself to recall the progress made since surgery. When I first came home, I couldn't do anything by myself. I couldn't write, move my head, lift a thing, bend. Walking the dogs was NOT allowed. No leaving the house alone and certainly no driving. No going to bathroom alone, had to wear a "leash" to go up or down stairs, couldn't shower alone, no cooking, no taking even short walks. I needed a walker in the house. Then I graduated to a cane. And was released from in-home physical therapy to outpatient. Baby steps. And now I am independent again. I remind myself that healing & strengthening take time and I have no choice but to be patient.
I guess I balk at still needing help lifting things, reaching, having little energy, and I still look & feel a little drunk when I walk. Still have headaches, soreness & minor numbness but have slowly involved myself in activities I did before like counseling others, lunch with friends, participating socially when I feel like it. Neurosurgeon said Xrays look fine but ordered an MRI to make sure no nerves are still being compressed since I still have some nerve-related symptoms. This is scary. Cannot imagine needing another surgery, but I'd do it if it is the last move needed for me to feel and be "normal".