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I am grateful

AnonymousUserAAnonymousUser Posts: 49,622
edited 06/11/2012 - 7:20 AM in Matters of the Heart
I posted a week or so ago about my husband and his decision that our marriage was over and how difficult that is for me. It's still difficult but I think I have to take a few moments here and talk about the things that I am grateful for.

I am grateful that I got approved for my long term disability and that they will handle my social security disability application for me.

I am grateful that I will be able to get COBRA coverage for my insurance and that I will be able to pay for it because of my long term disability.

I am grateful for my friend who said that if my husband was that stupid he didn't deserve me anyway.

I am grateful for my doctor who agreed to treat me for the same cost as if I had insurance before I found out that I was going to be able to continue my insurance.

I am grateful for my son-in-law who said "hey, we have an empty bedroom - come live with us" and then said "after all, you're my mom too"

I am grateful for my mother who laughed at my husband. Petty I know but it did make me feel a little better.

I am grateful for my little dog who is my constant companion and loves me no matter what kind of day I am having. (By the way my husband said I can have custody of the dog as long as we are both gone by August 29)

And, the number one thing I am grateful for is my daughter. She is amazing and I am so blessed that not only is she my daughter, she is also my friend. She really wants me to come live with them. She understands all I deal with because until she and her husband moved to Hawaii, she was right here with me through everything. And I mean more than just living in the same house - she has actually been there with me and for me at any time. When I had complications from my surgery last November, she quit her job and flew 4,000 miles to come home and take care of me. For six weeks she took me to the doctor, changed my dressings, packed and unpacked my wound, helped with my IV, and did everything and anything that needed done around the house or running errands. She gave up Christmas and New Years with her husband to be here helping me. And now, since I'm not going to be able to go back to work, and I am continuing to have health problems and my marriage is in pieces, she actually wants me to come live with them. How awesome is that! She says she doesn't care if I live with her the rest of my life. That's not my goal but it is nice to know that she feels that way.

I don't know what I ever did to deserve it all, but I am grateful and I am going to keep my focus on all these wonderful things and people and let my husband worry about the bad stuff. It was his decision after all.

And, my daughter bought my plane ticket to move to Hawaii, and I am leaving on August 26 so I will get to take my dog!!

Just wanted to share the things I have to be grateful for and not just the bad stuff.

Thanks to all of you for being here for me through all of this too! You all are another thing I am grateful for!


  • Sounds absolutely wonderful, and your husband sounds exactly the opposite. I didn't read your previous post about this, but I just wanted to offer my support and let you know that I care.

    This was a very lovely post, and there are times when I get really down, but trying to concentrate on the positive things helps us all to get through the bad stuff.

    Surviving chronic pain one day at a time, praying for a reprieve because living another 40 years like this doesn't sound too fun!
  • I have found such a wonderful environment here at SH - everyone is so supportive.

    I know that when my husband first made his announcement, I just couldn't see a single positive thing about any of it. I was already struggling with my ongoing health problems and trying to adjust to the idea that I may never be able to work again and that just seemed like the last straw. But I turned to SH because I just didn't feel like I could handle not letting some of it out and everyone was so kind.

    Then, in spite of all of that, there have been some surprisingly positive things and I just had to take the time to share those with everyone here. After all, we are all friends here, and you share the bad and the good with friends!

    I hope we can all find something positive in our lives to hang on to - sometimes that's all we have to help us get through!
  • What a wonderful post! It really is a great lesson, for people to try to have a positive attitude, and I know how hard that is to do, but making a list of all of the "good things" in your life is a wonderful way to do it!

    Wow, Hawaii!! Sounds like you are losing a loser, and moving in with a sweetheart of a daughter. Any tips on raising a super caring, compassionate girl like that? I hope my 3 turn out that well!! Her hubby sounds like a gem, too!!
    Good luck in Hawaii!!


    Thanks for inspiring everyone!
  • I am so glad to hear you can see the wonderful blessings inyour life, despite the yucky stuff. Your daughter really must be amazing!!!

    Did you check if you can bring your dog on the plane? You may have to purchase a separate ticket, on a different plane, thats what I had to do with my dog... something to think about anyway.

    Good Luck hon!!! Hope to keep hearing from you in Hawaii!!
  • I want so much for my children to be caring and considerate of each other and adults. You have done a great job raising her.

    Have a wonderful time in Hawaii. It sounds like it would be great to live with your daughter and son in law for a while.

    Divorce is hard. My parents got divorced after being married for almost 30 years. My dad's decision. It has been really hard on my mom. But I dont think that she deserved someone who would not stick by her and treat her with respect.

    Take care of yourself.
  • I want so much for my children to be caring and considerate of each other and adults. You have done a great job raising her.

    Have a wonderful time in Hawaii. It sounds like it would be great to live with your daughter and son in law for a while.

    Divorce is hard. My parents got divorced after being married for almost 30 years. My dad's decision. It has been really hard on my mom. But I dont think that she deserved someone who would not stick by her and treat her with respect.

    Take care of yourself.
  • Your daughter is the way she is because of the person you are. You have done a great job at raising her to be a careing, loving person. I'm so happy for you that things are working out. I agree with your friend that your husband doesn't deserve you. Sounds like he's very self centerd. Good luck in Hawaii.
  • You are a very strong person and you will get through this. Your daughter and son-in -law sound like wonderful people. The fact that you can count your blessings and focus on the postive at such a difficult time is a sign that you are a woman of HIGH ESTEEM, YOU HAVE A STRONG WILL & AND A BIG HEART.

    I'm sorry for you husband that he cannot see this- HIS LOSS.


  • This is what a family should be. Pity that in today's world of immediate gratification that familial bonds are often overlooked.

    I for one got the scare of my life when my fusion surgery initially debilitated me to the point of suffering in job performance. I really did not know if I would be able to continue and support my family anymore.

    But, my brothers rallied to my side, assuring me that my wife and son would always have reinforcement. It made all the difference in the world. And, I will always be there for my brothers and their families and my parents.

    Cathy, you have a beautiful daughter in every sense of the word. You are indeed blessed.

    Family is family. Period.

    Cheers, Mate
  • thank you so much for sharing this....I guess we could all learn a lesson from your thread....atleast I know I can....focus more on the blessings in my life and not so much the bad things. Thank you once again....and you are a blessed woman indeed... :)
  • What an awesome post Cathy and a great reminder to be thankful for all we have, rather than focus on what we don't have. Your daughter is a gem and your son-in-law too. Divorce is difficult but you will get through this, especially with all the support you're getting.

    Take care,
  • Hey Cathy,

    It's great to hear you sounding so positive. You are going to have a whole new life to start over in Hawaii, and what better place to do it?! Don't forget about us all when you're off living it up on the beaches though will you? :)
  • Very happy for you, enjoy getting your life back on track. From your post I read, you have been through SO much, and deserve to feel well and happy.

    Now you can work hard on gettting some good tan lines... it will be a tough job, but you can do it !! he he he :P
  • And, yours is in the beautiful state of Hawaii! Lucky you! :)

    Best wishes for you and when you get there, take a wonderful picture of a beach or something and post it for us so we'll know you arrived!
  • Thank you. You have changed my day! I have been really down lately and have forgotten to stop and smell the roses. Thanks for the reminder. I too have many wonderful things to be thankful for.
  • I hope you will keep us updated and not spend to much time in the sun.

    It may take some time to get adjusted, Hawaii is a beautiful way of life. Please share your experiences when you get settled. I know you will stay positive and not go into cultural shock. lol

    Thank you so much for sharing the love of your family and giving us all valuable lessons of supporting each other.
  • I'm having a bad day and decided to reread what I had posted to remind myself of all the things I have that are wonderful and saw all of your comments, which just give me more things to be grateful for!

    I am so glad to have found this place and all of you. We all know the inherent difficulties in our pain and physical limitations and how hard it can be to adjust to the changes in our lives. It is wonderful to have this place where we are not alone! No matter how bad the day or week or whatever has been I know I can always come here and find support and acceptance. Thanks to all of you!

    I leave for Hawaii in 27 days and I am hanging on to all of the positive and trying very hard not to get bogged down in the rest of it. I know I will be starting a new life out there and that I am so lucky to have this opportunity. I just have to keep my focus off of the life that is ending. This may sound really stupid but I wish he just wasn't so happy about it. He's already telling me what wonderful plans he has for after I'm gone. I haven't even moved out yet and he's already moved on. So, I have to focus on moving on also.

    My daughter is indignant on my behalf, his youngest daughter wants him to move closer to her, and my stepson called me yesterday crying because he doesn't want this to happen. I tried to reassure him that I wouldn't disappear from his life, we can still talk on the phone and if his father is willing, he can come out and see us next summer. He still wasn't happy about it. In spite of the wonderful opportunity I have in moving, dismantling this life is still heartbreaking at times.

    But, I promise, I'll still be on here - even if I'm online from the beach!!

    Thanks to all of you for your support through this and yes, my daughter is an amazing person (said with maternal pride)!
  • And don't forget the sun screen :D
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