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I really can't take this anymore

Allie KAAllie K Posts: 33
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:21 AM in Depression and Coping
Hi everyone,

Ever since I was forced to go down on methadone because of it's awful side effects, I've been in excruciating pain and been more miserable than ever. I've been taking Percocet, Norco, or Dilaudid for the breakthrough pain, and even that is barely touching it. I really don't have a life anymore.. all I do most days is lie in bed or sit on the couch and watch TV. I try to go out everyday, but usually it is only for short errands then I promptly return home to lie in bed.

As of right now, I'm in so much pain that it's even hard to type this message. I'm scared to death because school starts in a month and I barely got by last semester (I had to drop two classes). I just switched to a new PM and although she is the sweetest, most caring doctor I've ever met, we still have been having a hard time getting me on the right medication because I'm ultra sensitive to side effects. Name a side effect of a certain medication, I've most likely had it. It's very unfortunate.

Anyway, sorry to complain, but I just really need support right now. Thanks so much folks!! :)



  • come on girl,your gonna be fine.Take your time and do the right thing,take time for your self to heal a little. Ime down to one class for each of two semesters,i planned on two apiece. Ive got 13 hours lined up for fall.. i may fail,and probably gonna suffer,that is gauranteed

    dont despair,your going to be ok,there is always hope where there is a way. I know there are extenuating circumstances,and time constraints,but you will get there, i wanted to graduate with my class,butits not gonna happen,but, it will happen regardless,just like you...You want it very badly,thats obvious,only a dedicated person woud try so hard.dont give in to the despair dont give up what you want!
    there will be time for you to achieve, you will be wonderfull in what you do
    the pain is a given, the determination is there,the will is there,you will achieve K?
    I guess thats why the K is there in your name? coz its goona be ok.
    dig down inside when you need to
    rest coz you have to
    William Garza
    Spine-Health Mod

    Welcome to Spine-Health

  • Don't over do it! Don't try to do so much that you are unable to do it. Set your classes up so that you will have rest in between them and if you need to, take less hours this semester so that you won't be in more pain than necessary Also, get with your doctor and see if you can get your meds situated before starting school.

    Good luck!
  • Thanks you two! As it turns out, my parents just yelled at me a few minutes ago because they said they are sick of hearing about my pain. It's so hard not to talk about my pain when I'm suffering this much! They are threatening to kick me out of the house because of it! :(
  • I'm sorry to hear about your pain Allie. Maybe you should have your PM talk to your parents about what your going through (it sounds like your parents really don't understand what your going through?).

    I can't comprehend that any parent would act that way towards their child who's in such pain unless they feel helpless and are acting out of frustration.

    If they are frustrated, maybe have them post here asking for help/advice?
  • I think Jim has the right idea. Can you get one or both of your parents to talk to your PM doc?

  • hope your doing well, and i hope you can talk heart to heart to your parents. please keep in touch K?
    William Garza
    Spine-Health Mod

    Welcome to Spine-Health

  • I too suffered a spinal injury and pain when I was relatively young at the age of 23. Well, I adapted and adjusted to the condition, never taking any medicines and lived with it until 2.5 years ago, when I had a fusion. During that time, I managed to maintain a high quality of life, mostly because I had no other choice.

    In fact, I was a US Army officer at the time. There was no sympathy nor resolution for my "condition", not from authorities nor from family. Believe me, I am not trying to come of as cold and uncaring, but life is tough and competitive as it is, never mind having a chronic pain condition. I understand all of this, but I want to emphasize that life goes and and even demands overcoming these things in order for one to be happy.

    The good thing is that you can overcome this and be happy. Understand that there is no "silver bullet", but I have seen a lot of people make the necessary life adjustments to persevere and prosper in the face of what fate has unfairly bought them. By all means, you can vent and express yourself. Just remember to keep your chin up and fight through these things.

    Stay in school. Excel there. Stay healthy, physically and emotionally. You have all our "virtual" support. From a fellow San Francisco resident, God bless and best of luck. Keep us informed on your progress. This will be a life long journey. I know, I am still living it.

    Cheers, Mate
  • My husband has been disabled from back surgery for 10 years and front brain damage and does not drive...he is on 30 pills and a spinal chord stimulator, morphine pump with dilaudid in it and so many problems...every week it is more and then I have had to have a fusion and now I have two herniated disks in my neck, two more bulging in my low back and bursitis in both hips and going on three years of physical therapy..so I understand you pain and most people will not..most family has left us because they could not handle it all...Our daughters were 7, 9 and 12 when he became disabled and I never would have imagined we would have made it...then my oldest who is in Bible College was a CNA and was injured at work and she just had back surgery in May and she did great and is going back to College next Thursday..it has been a rough summer but she is determined to go and it is 8 hours away...her doctors are so pleased with what she has done and has lost more weight this summer...it is amazing what you can survive so hang in there if you need to talk just let me know..I have been there and also deal with it everyday..then not just me but also my husband and daughter..let your mom read some of these and maybe it will help her understand you are not alone...I had no idea about this side of life...I do go to a support group and counseling and it is a huge God watch...hugs, cheryl
    Read my post about Tony Snow..I just cried when my mom sent it to me...Why Me?
  • Hey Mama school starts next week here, gonna be an adventure i tell ya! I am having second doubts(ya) about carrying a 13 hour load when a one hour load was murder. But i owe the state for carrying me for school,I owe myself ,for time lost these last 20 years I spent on the road, I owe it to myself to have a better life to look forward to right?

    So do you, you deserve the best after what your going through! your gonna look back at these hard times and smile cause you were so brave! These may be your finest hours,when your low and think your beaten, you will find the strength to pull another rabbit from the hat...some times thats what it comes down to, you dont know how your gonna swing it,but you do! your gonna be fine,your getting mature and wiser in the game, you know new limitations and of how to go around the things in your way, instead of butting up against a wall..you go round it,or over,or when it comes right down to it..ya go through it!
    keep that chin up and its gonna be all right!
    Some one wise once said...
    When you cant run anymore..you crawl
    When you cant crawl anymore, you find someone to carry you,
    dont be afrad to put your hands up when you need to..
    Its not defeat you know...
    when your reaching out to have someone lift you up,coz the battle has been joined!
    William Garza
    Spine-Health Mod

    Welcome to Spine-Health

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