I found this site just over a year ago and have ran through the gamit of emotions over and over. I dont post much but I do read alot and I want all of you to know that you help me alot. There is something comforting about knowing people understand what you are going through. Anyway I want to say Thank You to all here. Donna

I liked that Ron

I get to wanting a pitty party every now and again but as bad off as I am I know other are much worse.

I feel like such a baby so I try to focus on things I can do (almost to excess). When I need a good cry I put in a sad movie and let it out then (weird I know).

DOING REALLY WELL- WHAT I CAN DO WELL -it makes up for what I can no longer do well or do at all and it makes me feel good about myself again.

KEEPING BUSY also helps me take my mind off of my pain or limitations. I have a hobby (in a club) and when I feel up to it I work on editing an instructive booklet I am writing for "new club members". I also started a few smaller projects that we needed and even though I don't have the physical strength like I used to I can still use my noggin and feel needed and appreciated.

Stay Positive My Friends!

Julie

If life gives you lemons. Stick it in your corona botle, Its so much beter then lemonade,

Thats good Ron! If this was facebook I'd "like" it!

I joined yesterday, for this exact reason... The depression is the one thing I haven't really dealt with. I figured this post was made years ago, but so glad you posted it. It really hits home, specifically #3 on the Facts and #1 on the Myths. I definitely need more faith to deal with those.

I agree, I think we should try to make as much money as possible and try to start charaties that focus on the erradication of our respective illness/es.

Thats my plan at least, might as well try to find a cure for others.

Ron-

You state it is a myth to say this is how we are goign to be for the rest of our lives.

That may be true for some, but not for me. When I had my fusion surgeries, it sealed my fate as far as my back is concerned.

I am depressed both because I have unemployed for 3 years, and because when I look in the mirrow I see the me I used to be and I really, really miss that person!!

julie - maybe I should not post this since Ron's post is what you are responding to.

However I will post about that from my own personal view

My injury is the same as it was 1, 2 and now going on 9 yrs ago. Actually it is worse then when I was first injured.

BUT I am NOT the same. So Ron saying - this is not going to be how we are going to be for the rest of our lives - is true.

I am now able to dress myself, I can now tie my own shoes and shower alone. I can do a LOT more then I could even 3 months ago. No surgery (except I had my knees replaced last March). To look at me I seem the same. But to know me you can tell I am not, nor is my world/life.

Once I came out of my depression I was willing to find ways to change my life for the better. Every "little" change I made THRILLED me.

I lost the company I had built & ran for 30 years. I had to give up my home as I could no longer function in it. I lived out on a farm and had to move into a town house in a large town. My marriage went down the tube and is still not great, as of my husband being so angry and not understanding of my limits.

Literally my whole life changed!!!!

When I joined this site I was in a deep depression and was thinking life was no longer worth living.
The members here supported me. They told me about new things to bring up to my Drs. They were my strength when I was weak. They would not let me fail at living.

Even had I not been able to improve with doing things for myself, I still am not the same INSIDE. So if you can't change your physical challenges, then try to take charge of your inner ones.

I hope you give us the same chance to help you learn how to live (really live) in your new normal world

PS:sorry Ron for the thread high-jack

response like you just made. MsHumptyDumpty, you completely understand the message I was making here and in so many of my other threads.

I know from reading so many of your posts, that even though you have your medical problems, you are not going to let them run your life. I applaud you for that.

Spinal problems are real. They do impact our lives.
But we have the choice to decide who is going to win.

The pain or You

Put me in a room with 1,000 people, and I know that the majority is going to say We(You) win and not allow the pain to take control.

It takes a strong individual to understand their situation and to make the most of it and still march on. Its always way too easy to throw your hands up and say, This is it, this is the rest of my life

We NEED to stop focusing in on what we can no longer do, instead we need to put our efforts into figuring out how much more we can do.

Since nobody has a crystal ball, we cannot see into the future and attempt to figure out how much more we can do.

A crystal ball, however, would help us to see the future ramifications of the decisions we make about the treatments we seek for our back issues.

Since we can have no knowledge of what is down the road in our future, we are relegated to looking over our shoulders to see the person we used to be and the things we used to be able to do. In many cases, this involves lamenting and mourning what our back problems have taken from us. We should not avoid looking at the past since we can't see the future.

Julie, I can (as I'm sure everyone else here can) really empathize with you and how you're feeling. I found this site not too long ago, and one of the first posts I saw was this one from Ron. I thought "wow! This is exactly what I was looking for" and have tried to really focus on the things I can do, the things that his post really points out. We may not have knowledge of the future, but we can take steps to guide it's path. You're not just relegated to looking over your shoulder. That's one big thing I got from his post, and I think you should try to see also. Take those lemons and try to squeeze out even a little bit of juice. Even if it's walking 1 block. Who knows, in 2 months you might be walking 1 mile! I tried to lose some weight starting about 3 months ago, just a little bit. I ended up losing 30+ and still going down. It's amazing how 1 little decision to do something small can snowball. Start with those little things, you're not going to be running a marathon tomorrow, but if you start by walking 1 block every evening.. you might run a marathon in a year or two. You have to start now though, stop lamenting over and mourning the past. Start with today, 1 or 2 steps, tomorrow 3 or 4. Next week a block, next year a mile, year after that a marathon.

We're all here. We'll support you. We'll cheer you on. We'll also understand and "feel your pain" on those bad days. But we each have to make our own decision to squeeze the lemons, I hope you decide to do that.

I think adjusting might come more easily when you have diagnosis, treatment plan, meds, etc. During the diagnosis phase it is very hard to move forward cause you are just waiting on answers and a treatment plan. I dont mean you cannot keep exercising and reasearching, but the moving forward in life part seems a little tougher.

This should really be a sticky post. I find myself referring back to it often, as well as posting the link to it for new folks who inevitably ask, "is there hope?".

It is now a sticky thread.
I am glad you have found it helpful

I am new here and it is amazing how as humans,how sensative we all are. It is true, must try to remain strong, and I admit right now I am going thru the hardest time in my life. This was very helpful.

Thank you!