I understand the pain stuff completely and I'm sorry that you are having a difficult time with that right now.

The pain and loss of the band is another thing altogether different,and that has to be tough.

We expect this pain in our bodies,we are never prepared for the disillusionment that comes from the loss of people and things that we love and need so much.That is a different pain,and so hard to understand.

Many prayers sent your way.

Sorry to hear about the band members. How long has it been since your most recent surgery? Not long (if my memory is correct.) Be kind to yourself. It's ok to vent to us!--Mazy

It makes you feel better to journal your feelings and that's not just a saying it really helps. How long ago did you call your surgeon and when did you have your surgery? Know that if these guys were your real friends they'd have stuck around but it's just business. Perhaps when you get better they'll be wanting you back from your new band. I hope you review the meds with your GP so you get some pain relief and sleep. Take care. Charry

I am so sorry to hear about your pain....you are not alone. You have had some radical surgeries, my gosh, no wonder you are in horrible pain. I feel so bad for you, my prayers are with you. I am not a doc, so I can only make layman's suggestions. Number one, you have to deal with the sleep issue because lack of sleep sets you up for a bad day. When you don't sleep, your body loses out on healing time. It also increases spasms and tension which increases pain. So if you can, ask the doc for something to help you sleep if you haven't already. Also, anxiety and depression really increase pain! So, find some music that you find relaxing and do anything you can to make some time to be distracted from things that make you sad and angry. Also, if you are up for it, it may help to take meds for the anxiety and depression as well--ask your doc and see what he/she thinks. Do you have access to therapy to talk about your depression? Meds alone for depression/anxiety don't work as well without therapy. Hang around positive and supportive people if you can. Do you go to church or are you a spiritual man? I know it helps me to keep a strong bond between God and I. For me, reading the Bible and praying is really, really therapeutic. It may seem that all these things are insignificant, but in the long run, they are huge in pain control. I hope and pray that you will find some relief. Take care, and feel free to message me any time.
Laura

I'm so sorry. Sorry for both your neck pain but mostly for your loss of what was obviously your passion- your music. These spinal problems are so far reaching and touch every single aspect of our lives in ways we could never have imagined.

After my first surgery it was obvious that I couldn't care for my kennel of hunting terriers. I had to board them for several months and, when it became clear that I wasn't getting better, had to find new homes for all but 3 of them. I didn't realize just how much I defined myself by hunting and showing my dogs and it was a devestating loss. As I come close to the year anniversary of my first surgery I realize that I've changed my perspective and look at the subject differently. I'm not as "sad" anymore. There are things we can change in the world and things we can't. That was something I had no control over.

I guess what I'm trying to say, in my long winded way LOL, is that this is the time for you to heal. Later, when you're feeling better, the music will again come back to you. I have a feeling that there is no stopping you when it comes to your art. Just keep your eye on the prize ..... without a healthy spine there is no way you can really rock out like you want to, right?

Hang in there and feel free to PM me if you need to talk. This is a hard road and we all need all the help we can get.

Griff