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People with chronic pain are often “people pleasers.” We find it hard to express our needs and require that others respect them. And when our needs are not met, tension is increased and our pain seems worse.
But you do have the same basic rights that you grant to others. You have the right to:
1. Act in a way that promotes dignity and self-respect.
2. Be treated with respect.
3. Make mistakes.
4. Do less than you are humanly capable of doing.
5. Change your mind.
6. Ask for what you want.
7. Take time to slow down and think before you act.
8. Ask for information.
9. Ask for help or assistance.
10. Feel good about yourself.
11. Disagree.
12. Not have to explain everything you do and think.
13. Say "no" and not feel guilty.
14. Ask why.
15. Be listened to and taken seriously when expressing your feelings.
Read and reread these rights so that you not only know them by heart, but so that they become part of your daily life.

Double laminectomy L4-L5, bulging discs, DDD, Bone spurs, nerve damage in left leg and hip, DJD, and that to familiar visitor,arthritis
bigcat- amen to that.
jade
thank you for that, I really needed to hear that today....been really down last few days
Mommy of 2 ( 4yrs & 5yr old) DDD 3 herniated disks L-3-4&5 stenosis also 4 herniated disks in thoracic, and 1 in cervical.
synovial cysts... and so on Have tried Physical Therapy, Epi Injections,Radio Feq, Denied surgery 3 times Current meds: oxycontin 40mg, topamax 50mg, Lexapro, Lunesta, klonopin
appreciated those very much thank you, I am very lucky to have a great Husband who is priceless
and then all of you here at SH a just more frosting on my cupcake!
were posted on the wall at every doctor's office and ER and pain clinic. Actually, they'd be a great addition to "Intro to Medicine" for all new med studants!
I often wonder how many docs ever re-read the first line of the hippocratic oath. "First, do no harm"..........
Great post, BigCat!
Blessings and Peace, Mitzi
you hit the nail solid!
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Bigcat 90,
Respect is a two way thing and we have been given the notion that our pain can be helped and although this may well be the case for many that desire for the expected cure expands our reasoning that this is always possible.
Much angst has been developed before we see the surgeon and as you say we do have a right to have the contents of your list address when some time it is not. Most of the frustration for us is when the basics are not discussed and we feel the need to be more assertive. This can be interpreted sometimes as unrealistic expectation and an element of haste, waiting in pain while the world goes by is never easy and however proficient in accepting this difficult to do.
Pain and it’s associated progression does not come with a handbook and we can wait lengthy periods of inactivity to our cause, our appointment sometime come in the blink of an eye, and good planning and appropriate question are always relevant.
I have had the most respect for those who said they can do nothing for me, rather than chasing that illusive probably unattainable improvement that we are all looking for, even with the reduction of dwindling expectations accepting the remnants is never easy, being who you are.
We should make an online hand book at each stage and enable patients to help themselves, the mode of best practice is being developed once more, it is the best support we can offer another and Bigcats list helps us all to do that.
Take care and be kind to yourself.
John
DDD.1990 Laminectomy, Failed spine fusion, hartshill rectangle RLS. 3 stents
Pain is inevitable, misery is optional. Sternbach et al
Pain is a more terrible lord of mankind than even death itself.
Albert Schweitzer 1953.
“It’s not things that trouble us but the views we take of them” Epitectus
That post you made , Bigcat90, was exactly what I needed to hear! I am brand new to this group. I suffered 2 serious car accidents and have a whole lot of pain involved. I tried the natural approach at first with no pain meds. It is to the point that I am miserable and seriously need them. I went to a doctor who I thought would help me and he only minimized my problems and told me to take Advil for now until he schedules more tests for me. There are other problems with him too like I feel he doesn't want to listen to me and I felt like was not respectful to me since the first moment I spoke with him. I was just another patient he was trying to squeeze into his day and shoved me out the door. I have had to stand up for myself (because if i won't, who will?)today and have asked to see another doc at that practice (who has an excellent reputation). Believe it or not, I questioned if what I did was right. Along with the pain does comes feelings of worthlessness and insecurity. I used to be a much stronger person before all of the pain. What has been posted here made me see everything in a new light. I do deserve better treatment than that and so do all of you.