I am trying to type through the tears right now because I am in so much pain right now. I am so upset at myself. I've been more inactive due to increased pain levels lately. Hubby asked if I would like to go out to dinner so I decided to dress nice cuz he and I only see me in sweat pants and big cotton tshirts. I put on my black 1inch healed shoes and was off. By the time I got home I was in tears.
The spasms are getting unbearable. I took my dose of MsContin, flexeril and then I took my BT of vicoprofen. Although the EMG shows no evidence of nerve damage, how does that explain the excrutiating pain in my upper butt, hip and all the way down to my feet?!
I just wish someone would step up and take the responsibilty to be my doctor and do what ever is needed to make me feel comfortable instead of sitting here wondering if I will even be able to get another oponion. I am waiting for a team of neurosurgeon's to review my med files to see if any of them will take me on as a patient. I guess docs are skeptical when you've had back surgery already. I only wished I had gotten a second or third opinion before doing surgery.
Could this still be nerves healing at 7 months post op L5/S1 fusion? I read somewhere that it could take as long for the nerves to heal by as long as it was that the nerve was being pinched. Well in my case, I don't know if my nerves were pinched or not but I've had back problems all my life. So best case scenario I'm lookin at 7 years, worst case scenario 31 yrs. That's a long time to be feeling this way.
I'm 31 years old and I just want to play with my kids like I did. I want to walk miles and miles at a time just to get some fresh air and enjoy nature.
I will stop feeling sorry for myself now as I know there are others that are far worse than me. Zach, is the first one to come to mind. He is so strong and such a fighter. I need to follow by his example and just realize everything happens for a reason. God has a plan for me. I really wish it wasn't being in pain but I have to take what he gives me and keep my chin up and keep going no matter how bad it hurt.
Thanks for listening. I could use any prayers you may have for me at this point.