I get very nervous every time I try to do my stuff because everything feels so extremely different. I am fused c5- c6 and I had other expectations. Do some of you prefer some of the pain you use to have instead of the pain in the neck when you do everything?
I am sorry, I am really very lost, I feel like a total different person. My energy levels are very low. I don't take pain meds, I manage what I have with klonopin.
Is difficult for me to be interested in other things, I guess I am waiting to be me again.
I don't know if I have to expose myself more. I get so so sad and nervous when I see my friends so normal. I get scare. I want to be able to accept this and believe I can be better. The surgeon told me I could do whatever I want after a while but it seems to me I felt better doing the things before the surgery, everything was more fluent, the pain did not make me feel like another person. Not able to move my neck as before confuses me in my daily living. Is as is my mind is expecting something but my body another thing. I am scare to go out and be with my friend and not be able to be friendly.
I was so much hoping operation was going to grant me more security, but kissing, cuuddling is totally different and weird. I feel mentally lost, confused. My energy levels to do things are incredibly low.
I went to visit my nephews and in my head I wanted to play like I use to with them, but I was there with them in pain, sad but smiling. This is a real nightmare for me.
I really don't know how to make it better. I have to forget my old me? Belief that I will be better?
Has it happened to any of you, that you had pain in your arms, but could still do stuff and no pain in the neck and after surgery now you have constant pain in the neck?
Do you think you felt better before surgery? Does it gets better?
I am sorry to writ so much, I am just so very anxious, I was wanting so much to be able to play with dogs, go in the floor with them, walk them without fear. I get the feeling that I was less vulnerable before surgery, I think I was more scared of hurting myself (I did have pain) but not this much or not this strange feeling.
I know many don't notice their lost of range of motion, for me its been a desconcertating, it makes me feel like another person. All of this... wow!
I am going to the doctor on thursday