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Hi there, this is me!

Hi how r y'all ? I'm actually depressed from my chronic pain but I know it'll pass it always does. Anyway it all started when I was 16 and got pregnant, yes big no-no I do realize. I had my first migraine when I was 6 months, and not another for almost a year. After that it was about 2 per year, horrible pain had to go to a dark room no noise, and smells would have me vomiting so no candles and such like they show on movies haha. After I had my second child at 21 they became more frequent until they were daily and I got tired of the medication attack, is what it seemed like. I had one medication that worked well for a year and quit so my PCP sent me to a nuerologist or two and the one that stuck was awesome. He tried everything under the sun including botox. Ewww I hated that one , couldn't move my eyebrows for months and when it started  to wear off I felt ill all the time. But  eventually things must come to an end when ur done and I was done. 60+ different meds and nothing helped.  At this time I also started to have problems with my back. Nothing of which I thought anything serious about until one day 12 years after the birth of my second child I went to get out of bed and my legs gave out and I crumbled to the floor in extreme pain. I also had to find a new Dr. I have had terrible luck with drs in my small town. Crappy diagnosis, attitude, non treatment of anything, and problems with my tattoos, or husband or u name it. I also had insurance problems, they couldn't keep my info together. Every time I went in for my back to a new Dr they needed to know if it was a third party injury. No same thing, I would send in the paperwork and ... The bill wouldn't be paid cuz I supposedly didn't send in the paperwork. So I started to call to report that it was the same issue new Dr and would have to tell the story again and again and again. Only to have half my bills paid and half not paid cuz I didn't file the paperwork. Damn it those calls are recorded right? Find my call and pay my bill. Anyway I end up having to go back to my nuerologist one year cuz I couldn't take the migraine pain and had new sypmtoms, like temporary blindness in one or both eyes. It was effecting my job. They did another MRI and told me if they didn't know I had chronic daily migraines they would think I had MS, due to all the scar tissue on my brain from the swelling. But hey nothing  new to report so what do u need. Mind u I had quit going to the neurologist because the main Dr got rid of everyone, and hired new assistants and PAC's which told me to go to the emergency room cuz they couldn't help me any longer with a shot in office to relieve a migraine I had been having trouble with for 9 days. What? What r u good for then. But the Dr I was seeing eventually came back and so I did as well. Except he was different, he didn't seem to care about the pain in my head just the pain in my back. Not much u can do when ur migraines r med resistant right?  So he sends me to a pain specialist. I had had a Dr before that had given me morphine and steroid injections for the back pain but he was one that didn't get paid and wanted 500$ up front for a visit. Didn't see another Dr for about 5 years. So off to the pain management guy! I see a wonderful woman who starts me off on a smaller dose of morphine cuz I hadn't seen a Dr in quite a bit and says they want to do lidocaine injections into the damaged nerves. Twice a week for six weeks. Ok no problem I thought. Until 3 days later when I went in for the first set. What should have been a 45 minute procedure lasted an hour and 45 minutes. Mind you, you can't move the entire time and my lower back is very sensitive. If I even feel like someone is going to touch me and some times even my shirt will do it, my back jumps/spasms and I can't control it. So while I cry as quietly as possible they do their thing and send me home. I hurt worse than before, the morphine wasn't touching my pain and ... I couldn't walk for 3 days. So I rescheduled my next and my next appointment. Eventually they didn't get paid for something and I didn't go back it's been 2 years and I still owe 85$. I'm 43 years old and feel like a 100. I have very few good days. I lost my job 2 years ago also for my call ins. Didn't have a PCP and when I needed paperwork filled out by a Dr I tried an urgent care, yah right. Guy was not willing to look into my history. Said I could have just taken some vacation days I wasn't allowed. Wth was he talking about. So needless to say because technically it was my fault for not having the appropriate paperwork to return to work I was let go. Even when I called HR and my union for help to explain that the insurance company was at fault for my owing about 5 different drs and two urgent cares money and couldn't risk more debt to get another Dr., I was told sorry can't help u. Anyway in two years I have only reinjured my back 2 times, once reaching into the refrigerator, and once picking up a laundry basket. The first time I was only out of commission for about 2 weeks. You know take it easy don't lift heavy objects try to not think about pain, stretch, heat, ice. Everything u can do at home when u know what the problem is.  Most recently was the second time. I was down and out for about 6 weeks. I had never felt this pain before.  It was more grinding than pushing. So I figured, hell the disc was probably pushed clean out. Not only was the pain different I had severe nerve pain as apposed to dull and intermittently. So 6 weeks of the same ol same ol And I'm good. I do alot of walking cuz it's about the only thing I can do without severe pain. So after it was ok to do so I went for walks again. I didn't over do it or under do it. I know what my body can and can't take and was fine for about 5/6 days. I had gone out to my ex mother-in-laws to help her out, she is on hospice dying of cancer. Spent the night, and woke up sore. I didn't do much of anything, took some pictures for her got together some art supplies she wanted, watched movies. By that evening everything was back to the normal dull throbbing minus the soreness. Two days later back out there to spend the night. Now mind u I did the same things minus the pictures. Lots of talking, arts and crafts watching movies and that's it. Went to bed, slept great for a change. Except in the morning as I'm getting out of bed I get a sharp pain in my left hip. Deep in my left hip all the way down my leg to my ankle. Ok I think, gotta work this out. Its gotta be a nerve right? Go home do normal boring things like dishes and cooking. Still the severe pain persist. I take more ibuprophen and call it a night. Wake up in worse pain than before bed at 2 am. Go to get out of bed to take more ibuprophen and can not for the life of me stand up straight without feeling like something was ripping from my hip to my toes. Ok bed rest and ibuprophen. Or should I say couch rest. By the third day I could feel pain in my lower back and in my hip, but it now skipped my thigh and went straight to my calf and ankle. I've been dealing with this now for 12 days. If I do nothing the pain is almost bearable. However whenever I have to stand up I wanna fall to the floor. I can't go to the er cuz my insurance won't pay, u know it's not an actual emergency. And I have no PCP. So now to call the pain management guy again and see if I can still comea as a regular patient, or if I need to become a new patient?  And also as my husband is the only one working, with cut hours we r barely scraping by. So can I afford the 85$ I still owe them on top of the 30$ copay? Desicions desicions?  So that's about the jist of it. I raised 2 biological children only one is still home he just turned 22 ,1 step daughter who is all daughter to me and two other children I got to help raise in their teen years. Now I am raising one of my granddaughters who is 7 and so very tired of Nana breaking, being sick and being in pain all the time. 



  • Thx. Yes I applied for assistance and got turned down u have to make under 36000$ a year we make 40000$. We have no free clinic and I am trying to pay off all my debt. As for the insurance I have started to keep a journal thank u. I appreciate your help. I knew there were no diagnosis here just needed to talk. I already have all the diagnosis I need just need a Dr. Before I can find a new PCP I have to wait for winter for my husband's hours to pick up I can't afford more debt. But thank u again. Will do in the keeping posted!

  • memerainboltmemerainbolt IndianaPosts: 6,354


    What a wonderful thing you are doing, raising your granddaughter. I know it has got to be tough on both of you but evidently she needed you.
    I'm so sorry for all that you have going on but this is a very good place do talk and vent if you need to. We have a lot of very caring and compassionate members and there is always someone to talk to like olderthandirt. She'll talk your head off but she cares lol.

    Take care and keep posting.

    Veritas-Health Forum Moderator
    Please read my  Medical History
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