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I am in bad shape............

tonyttony Posts: 28
edited 06/11/2012 - 7:22 AM in Depression and Coping
For the last few weeks i have been really depressed.. there seems to be rhyme or reason as to why, i just am.. I have been having( how you say) some thoughts that i know that i shouldnt be having.. it scares me to know that i am thinking like this... I just dont know why i'm feeling like this.. i know, talk to someone, call some advice lines, get some help.. thats all fine and well, if i knew what was wrong..I feel like im losing it.. i have never felt like this in all of my life... any advise will be greatly appreciated. Thanks


  • have you tried a therapist? They can help you figure out why you are feeling this way.

    I can understand how your feeling, some days the only thing that keeps me going is my kids. After a couple bad days (or weeks) I'm so glad they did. Time can give a whole different perspective on life.

    I definitatly think that you should see a therapist or councellor. They can help you sort thru this.
  • Reaching out is the right thing to do no matter what form it is. Electronic or in person or via the phone.

    What kind of meds are you on? Have you had any significant changes in your life recently? Even the most minor change can make a huge difference to someone suffering any type of chronic pain.

    Can you talk to a doc about this?

    Well you hang in there even if it is just communicating with us until you can get with someone in person.

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  • Currently i am no meds for anything at all.. i did have my 2nd fusion in May, and ever since then, is when i have started to feel like this. I feel that i can't even talk to my wife because i dont know how to, or what to say to her. She is under ALOT of stress right now; her job is in jeopardy(thanks INDYMAC), and our bills are behind, and she is working 60 hrs. a week; she doesnt need another trigger to get her emotions all stirred up... so i guess i am stuck.. my wife is great, and always there for me.. i have been on anit-depressants before for a short time; maybe its time to approach the doc about them again.. All i can say is this: if it wasn't for my wife, i would not be here today... god bless her; good lord, i need to seek help now... thanks again all :H
  • Are you able to get up ad walk around and go places at all? Does getting out of the house help you when you feel like this?

    If the anti-depressants helped you in the past, I really suggest talking to your doc first thing in the morning! If it gets real bad, there's nothing wrong with going to the ER. They have certain protocols they have to follow, but that is better than the alternative.

    If your wife is under alot of stress now, holy shit will she be under it if you don't get some help resolving your current feelings! Sometimes being stuck is okay if it means it gives you times to reach out to someone that can help you!

    You don't have to wait until morning if you need help now!!!
  • I know you say you dont know why youre so depressed but all you have to do is read your posts. Anyone would be depressed over feeling like they have no control over their life. You're down on yourself thinking that if it wasnt for your medical problems your wife wouldnt have to try so hard to keep everything up.
    Listen to me Tony, NOTHING is worth you doing to yourself what those thoughts youre having tell you to do.
    Your wife needs you and loves you and would be heartbroken without you.
    Depression also comes from a chemical inbalance in your brain and sometimes you need anti-depressants to help you feel better. DOnt be scared to ask for help.

    Best Wishes,
    Christina :)
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  • I am still going to call the doc and see what he can do for me.. i dont want to be look down on because i'm a nut case right now, but i have to do something now.. Thanks again to everyone listening to me rant and vent, i guess it really does help to let it out. I did some thinking last night, and i think some of the reason why i feel like this is guilt... you're right, i do feel awful because of the fact that because of my back problems i have put the household at risk and in financial distress. I take full responsibility for any stress that i have caused; but, the fact remains that w/o the surgery, i would still be miserable and unable to walk. So i guess the good outweighs the bad anyday... i will stop ranting, and i will get ahold of the doc today to get something called in or go see him.. thanks all, my heart thanks you :)
  • Tony,

    Good morning to you. I'm so glad to hear that you feel better this morning! That's awesome. Like you said though, it would be smart to follow through and get in touch with the doc, so that you don't have to worry.

    I have a very dear friend that is going through a similar experience with the guilt. It's not her fault and it's not your fault that you are the needy family member right now. One day the tide will turn and I know that neither you nor her will think twice to give all there is to give to the new person in the family that is in need.

    It's so great to hear from you this morning!

  • I called the doc and have an appointment to see him today in the afternoon... my wife and i had a chat about what would happen if either one of us tried to end our lives... the comment that she made is that "she didnt know where that would leave us>"... what??? so, what she is saying is basically this, if you are going to do something like that, then you need to make sure that you do "it right", or if it fails, then our marriage and everything we shared will be all screwed up...WTF???????? How in the world am i suppossed to open up and share my feelings, and then have something like this come up... I've had it with people this week; no more, i cant deal no more....
  • Did you ask her to explain what she meant?
  • Hi Tony,
    I think that your wife really just can't go there even tho yall were talking. Don't take this the wrong way, she has alot on her and right now she probably can't see the hand in front of her face. It sounds like maybe she has had some to the same thoughts you have and maybe she was talking more about herself than you. Maybe you both need to talk to someone. I know the feeling of being worthless when you have to have someone help you. Money problems can put pressure on the whole family but in the end as long as you have each other no matter what happens it will be ok. We are worth more than our bank accounts, or our mortgage. Having to deal with pain every hour or every day will have an effect on you. Give yourself a break and know that things will get better. But please go get help and get your wife to get some too. Let her know how much you appreciate what she does. Are you able to do little things. Can you fold clothes, have supper done when she gets home, sweep, dust, anything that will help her day so she doesn't have so many things facing her. Hang in there!
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