It looks like you're new here. If you want to get involved, click one of these buttons!
Due to the recent opiod epidemic, I'm sure almost everyone out there in pain and on strong medications are aware that PM is cutting all medications in half. This is 'Nationwide' or so I was told by my PM doc!! She seem to want to accentuate that fact and the drastic measures they are taking to cut everyone's meds. I truly believe they are doing it. I've even heard of cancer patients being cut of their meds.
This is taken effect nationwide and we all will be affected by it.
I find myself, like many other pain sufferers out there...in a scary boat. Will I have to suffer in continuous pain because I have to do without the most powerful pain medication that has helped me most for the past decade? That is the question I ask myself and I'm not going to lie, it is scaring the literal hell out of me.
This crisis is taking its toll on many a pain patient because just because others out there choose to abuse the same medications, that doesn't mean that we should have to be held accountable and do without them. We are being punished for the abusers mistakes and that is so wrong. IT is just down-right inhumane to make someone suffer---intentionally. It is torture I tell ya!
Why do we have to suffer more because of their mistakes. I mean, I see that people are killing themselves and sure hate to hear it, but I don't have any control over what they do. This situation is horrible and don't believe that we'll EVER get a hold of it. I guess, there will always be people who will find a way to abuse something...regardless.
Stopping our meds isn't going to affect the abusers from abusing meds. They will continue to do so..regardless because it is just what they do. I hate to say it, but it is true. So happens that their drug of choice right now....is Fentanyl, the exact medication that really helps relieve my pain. This hurts many a pain patient that has been prescribed it because it is one of the most effective in relieving our pain. Of course, the breakthrough meds are important too because they do help us get through the peaks of pain. They are abusing that one too and now, I've even heard they are even finding a way of abusing Gabapentin. What in the world?
We are not making the abusers to abuse anything. We are not ones at fault. IT is their fault, they choose to take it. At least, I know that I'm not at fault because I take my medications as prescribed and have for 11 yrs..without issue or incident!! I have always shown respect for the powerful medications that I've been prescribed and have always taken them right. Never have I abused them and never will. Personally, I am afraid of them and that is a good thing. You really have to be afraid of them, to respect them.
What I'm trying to state is that we are not to blame for others abusing medications, so why should we have to suffer for it?
The last visit I had with PM, they told me they were going to cut my meds in half. They give me the option of choosing which one to cut, the Fentanyl patch or the Norco. And of course, I chose the Fentanyl Patch because it is the one that I am afraid of and have grown tired of having to apply it. I'm not going to lie, I've prayed for years to be OFF of that Fentanyl patch because you can't get hot or sweat and it is hard to find a comfortable way to sleep with it, without it coming off or getting bunched up. It is a worry in itself and why I've wanted off of it, all this time. Maybe, this is my prayer being answered, to be off it it. I donno, but I absolutely hate it, I'm afraid of it too, but then...I know how much it really helps me!! >:o I must confess that it is so scary to think of what I'll have to go through to be off of it...the WD's and the pain. I'm not looking forward to that one bit.
I was kinda blindsided and confused about parting with the strongest medication I had to relieve my pain. I was scared to death because all that I could visualize was being in intractable pain and not having any relief. I am not sure why ,but felt like I did something wrong and treated like a child for no reason. I never called any meds in early or asked for anything extra or played any of those games that "seekers" do to play the doctor for additional meds. I was quite happy with my Rx and was so appreciative of her help with the meds that I wouldn't dare screw it up.
Well, I found a way to do that and HERE's where I need your input. I smoked, after they told me they were going to cut my meds in half, but it knocked me for a huge loop. Well, I was experiencing panic attacks and anxiety because of it and didn't know how to process it. Subconsciously, I am a literal mess because I am in pain with the Fentanyl patch on and taking the Norco for breakthrough pain too!! Getting this news, knocked me off of my feet! I know that it was coming because my PM told me that I was taking too much Morphine, but I didn't think that they would cut it in half. How, could they do that, when I've taken the same dose for 11 yrs!?! It hasn't killed me yet because I am responsible and take it as prescribed!!
I'm afraid now, that since I smoked that I won't pass the drug test, they won't give me anything for pain and that is horrifying!! Should I be upfront and just tell her that I smoked??
I do need my Norco at least and afraid that I won't get it. And to be perfectly honest, I really need something stronger than the Norco, like Percocett to get through it, since I won't have the Fentanyl patch anymore. If I'm going to get through this and NOT experience a possible 'opiod crisis', I will need some form of pain relief ...when I get completely off of the patch.
I pray that they give me one more chance because back over a year ago, they did find a minute amount in my urine, but I only smoked one time. It is not like I am some kind of pot-head or something. I only used it because I was going out of my mind!!
I promise that I will do things right and not smoke any more because I can't take a chance and jeopardize getting my pain relieved. I know that I need some form of medication, to get through this pain. Do you think that I will get my medication?
I hate admitting the pills (opiates) truly do give me life and have during all this time. They have for years and I honestly don't believe that I would have made it, if it hadn't of been for them. That is what is scaring me so much because 11 yrs is a long time to be on the same exact med and then, to just stop taking them.
Also, I am so afraid of having to experience the w/d's. It scares me because I have been there before. I told my doc(D.O at the time), after he decided to raise my Fentanyl patch from 50 to 75 that I didn't feel any difference in the raise. I didn't feel anymore relief, so I told him that I wanted to go back down to the 50 mcg and I did. I just dealt with any additional pain with the Norco, until I made it work.
If any way possible, I would rather go through the whole cycle of tapering down because of my anxiety. I know that I have to do it and believe that I can do it, but I need help getting there. I hope that they give me that help...
I've heard horror stories about w/d's. This is the 1st time in my life being on opioid's or anything addictive this long, so I have got myself in a catch 22. It is not a good place to be and anxiety can over-take you, if you worry too much. My body is just so broken and need some form of relief. Myself, I'm only capable of taking HOT water baths to help relieve some of the pain, but that doesn't relieve my pain. It is only a temporary solution, for a permanent problem. I have structural damage and with no other means of relieving my pain, except for the smoke and it won't relieve all of it. It does give me some form of relief, but it also makes the pain more noticeable too. It is like I'm more sensitive to it, when I smoke.
I won't smoke and I will promise my PM of that, if I'm able to get my meds. I pray...they will give them to me and one day, maybe I will be off of them. I just don't want any opiod crisis to come on me because I don't have any meds at all!! :O
I will be honest with you and tell you that smoking did help me and did get me through this month. It did cut my pain med in half, but I did not like how it made me feel or that I had to be high or something, to get relief of the pain. I did still feel the pain and it actually accentuated it. I only smoked because I was told I had to cut one of my strong pain meds. It truly horrified me because I've depended on it relieving it for 11 yrs...since '05. Smoking did help me process what I should do and it did help me to forget somewhat of the pain. Then, it was still there in the background, but I guess that is how it works.
I believe that eventually, I will be able to get off of the Fentanly and only take the Norco. I truly believe that because I am a strong person and can tolerate a lot of pain. I just don't want to be made to be in pain. It is just in the back of my mind..I'm scared as heck!! One thing I can say, I won't smoke because if I'm so lucky to be granted to have some form of pain relief, I will be happy. I just pray that I don't have to suffer in horrific pain because of it being my fault..due to smoking. I know it was a mistake and I won't do it again either. I grant you that!
When you are faced with such a decision, it does weigh heavily on you. I felt forced to try the smoke and see if it would give me the relief I needed. I had to see for myself, how much relief that the smoke was going to give me. I just want to be happy, healthy and as close to normal as I can be. I'm not looking for some kind of high. I just want relief! I've recently come to terms with realizing the pain will never go away and its going to be life long. At 52, its hard to accept that my life doesn't mean enough to give it relief. It hurts! I don't understand how we are being made to suffer intentionally because we are innocent in this battle. We only want to have a normal life and be able to live it and not be stuck in bed suffering. That would be horrible!
Honestly I didn't even want PM in the first place because of the stigma alone, but I didn't have a choice. My D.O doc that I had for 20 yrs treated my pain and I smoked too. He never drug tested me and I never had a problem with it, until he passed away. I just don't want to get myself blackballed before even starting the care I need to maintain a functioning level of life again.
Anyways, sorry for all of the rambling, but had to vent it out because it is driving me nuts. I just so anxious, in pain, anxiety, stress and no one around that really understands my situation. I just need a support system for all my future endeavors with my spine health and dealing with this pain. I just want my pain relieved, that is all I want. I'm not trying to get some kind of high off of anything. That is not me!!
Any advice would be thoroughly appreciated and thank you in advance! I will be back to check on what you guys have come up with for me to do.
Thanks again and God Bless!!! <span>" alt="" height="20" /></span>
Spondylosis(possibly AS, due to herniations)
Nerve damage(because of 'wet tap')--couldn't feel my legs for 7 yrs.
AVM-Arterior Venous Malformation
Bi-polor Manic Depressant
-Fentanyl patch 50 mcg(every 48 hrs)
-Norco 10/325 mg (4 xs per day, but I've cut down to 2 or 3 per day)
-Hydrocortisone(doc prescribes to taper off and now, I'm taking 1/4 of 10 mg per day)
-Armour 60 mg(1x per day)
-Zanaflex (4 mg per night--to get some sleep from muscle spasms)
-Valium (5 mg as needed-for anxiety)