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Sex with new partner with severe disc degeneration

I hope this isn’t a too much TMI bet here it goes....I’ve recently started dating a man several years older than me with a severe back injury that has caused him to completely loose his discs in about 5 of his lower vertebrae. We have not been intimate yet, partially due to his back issues (pain, some ED and lack of libedo) but also personal reasons as well. He is scheduled for fusion for these 5 discs in about 9 months. So I guess my question is for men or partners of men who are dealing with similar issues and how it relates to sex life, I’ve read a lot about individuals having issues but are there any success stories as well? Any advise for pre and post surgery? I really like this man a lot, I don’t want to hurt him if and when we are intimate or make him feel inadequate if there are issues. I’m wondering if there’s anything I can do as a partner to make him feel more comfortable both physically and emotionally? 

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Comments

  • I can only say this, during the 3-4 months when I was contending with severe sciatica, sex rarely crossed my mind.....even masturbation. Pain is the ultimate kill joy. The ED part is a whole other issue, but I'm sure if he is taking meds, this does not help.

  • memerainboltmemerainbolt IndianaPosts: 6,393

    hi barefoot87
    please click on the welcome link and tutorial for more information to get you started on the forum.
    welcome to spine health


    this subject has come up before but i have noticed most men don't talk about it much. if you really care about him, sit and talk about it, put it all on the table, both sides being honest. he is the one having to deal with the pain, meds and probably surgery. and also wondering how you are going to handle all of this.
    one of the best things you can do is support him and reassure him that you will help him before and after surgery. 
    you can read about other member's surgery and recovery in surgery buddies. pick a previous month (ie june, july, aug.) and there you will find a lot of helpful information.

    good luck to you both and keep us posted.
    Sandra
    Veritas-Health Forum Moderator
    ---------------------------------------------------------------
    Please read my  Medical History
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