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I so want this year to be over. It's like my body is trying to die and the doctors are trying to keep it alive.
I can not die in November, it's Thanksgiving. I can not in December, it's Santa Clause. I can not die in January, it's when we celebrate the birthdays of everyone. I can not leave them with sad memories during good times. I must see the doctor, again. I must try to hold on a little longer. What's the poem "do not go gently into that good night but fight, fight, against the dying of the light." Or some thing like that, whatever, lol.
I go to a different instant care. I check on wait times as husband is in a mood, as usual. It's less time to wait here. Fate has it in for me as well. I specifically chose this spot to avoid seeing the doctor I saw in November. Today she is working here, lol. I get her again. Lovely.
Anyway, too many medical problems, too hard to tell what's wrong, too many options. My medical condition is too complicated. Maybe a stroke, maybe a small micro brain bleed, get blood test, test says I'm septic. I need to go to the ER doc says. I could die, doc, says. What? Didn't we do this dance in November? Problem was, in November, she was right. The other doctors comfimed that had I not gone into the ER that Saturday; I would have died Sunday.
Off to the hospital.
Very busy, long wait, finally seen. We can't go by the instant care blood test, we have to do our own, doctor says. Great. Just great.
Possible heart attack. What? I am forced to stay at the hospital for testing.
The blood test indicates heart damage. What? In addition, you might have had a small stroke, or a micro brain bleed, or be septic. Which? Don't know, doc says.
It's there a computer near? Where can i google? What was the name of that blood test again? Lol.
We will keep you over night. In observation, your insurance may pay or not. What? I am a doctor, not an insurance guy. Really?
We keep you awake all night running tests every hour, give you medication that we guess might help, forget to give you your regular meds cause we are giving you this other stuff, and we have no ideal what that butterfly rash is that you've developed on your face, but have you had it before?
What rash? Can I have a mirror? Oh, that rash. Nope, not had it before. What is it from? Doc: No ideal.
Then before we release you, from the hospital, we will give you more fluids because you are still dehydrated. Not enough fluid to end the dehydration because if we give you enough fluid it may overwhelm your heart. And something is going on with your heart. We don't know why your head hurts so bad. We don't know why your balance is so bad. We don't the answer to your your on-going diarrhea since your hospitalzation in July.
Something is wrong, we don't know what. Bye for now. Come back if things get worst.
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