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angelaangel Posts: 43
edited 06/11/2012 - 8:22 AM in Depression and Coping
Hi guys,
I just returned to work today after nearly a month off with my back. I had a month off in January too, same thing, only this last time was much worse. My manager has referred me to occupational health for a 'formal' assessment, to see if I am fit for my job. I sit at a computer for my whole working day and my doc has said it is making my back worse, but hey, there are bills, and the mortgage to pay. My employers have already been very good to me, getting me a fancy chair to help support my back, but it hasn't helped. I know myself, my back is made worse by my work, but today just made me feel so useless, like I am being put on the scrapheap. If I am found unfit for my job, they may help me find another (I work in the NHS) but what if they find me unfit for work completely? I have felt so upset at work today, I phoned my hubby at lunchtime in tears. If I have to leave my job we will have to sell our home to reduce our mortgage. I suppose it could be a good thing, and if I change my job my back may not trouble me so much, but who knows? It is such a worry, on top of all this pain. People at work today have sort of looked at me funny, I know they think there is nothing to see, so how can I be ill?
They have no idea, do they, unless they have suffered themselves.
There, sorry for the rant, but I do feel better now. I know there are people much worse off than myself, but I just feel so low at the moment, with all this uncertainty.
Thanks for listening.

I injured my thoracic spine when I was 9 years old. 17 years later I started getting 'stuck' and x-ray showed previous Scheurrmans disease and degeneration. I have managed with strong pain killers since then (past 20 years). Now much worse. I suffer from excruciating spasms and latest x-ray shows spondylosis. Nagging GP for MRI but not had one yet. Taking Diazepam for spasms, diclofenac for inflammation, and co-dydramol for pain. I eat painkillers, ha! Without my meds I'd not be able to move.


  • Hang in there girl!

    One door closes and another door opens.

  • I too work at a desk job in a call centre and started suffering at work so they got me a special chair, even with Physio once a week at work I wasn't improving. Honestly, ignore people at work they do not know what pain you are suffering, only you do. In May the Physio referred me to my Dr for an MRI scan which showed a herniated disc on L5/S1. I was signed off of work from 20th May as it was becoming unbearable to sit for more than 5 mins. Im now scheduled to have micro discectomy next Thursday 4th September, (my first ever major op) however since not being at work and sitting for long periods of time my pain has become less in my back, but still have numbness in my left bum cheek and back of my left leg and groin area. As much as Im dreading the surgery and recovery, Im looking forward to getting my life back. However I am now considering cutting my hours down and maybe doing something else with my other hours in the day (workwise) rather than sitting at a desk 5 days a week ofr 7 hours with half an hour for lunch, even though I will miss the money from my job, I know I have my health and my life with my daughter that has to come first.
    Keep in touch and let me know how you get on. PM me if you like

    Sally xx
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  • Thanks for the support. I hope your op goes well, hopefully it will set you on a better path. I am hoping that the doc who sees me for my work assessment will refer me for an MRI, and maybe to a consultant, seeing as my GP won't. I work in a health trust so they can't say they don't have the resources ;) I feel a bit better about it all now. I saw a union rep today who told me I could be offered early retirement due to ill health, and I'll get my pension, albeit a smaller one. With this, I could maybe get a part time job that would suit my back better. I need to be more mobile at work. Today, I have been to work, then gone a grocery shop with my hubby. He pushed the trolley, but just walking around the supermarket after sitting at work all day has done my back in. I am in such pain now. I think I realise my back just cannot cope with the strain of everything I am trying do do. I will wait and see what happens at my assessment and take it from there. I'd prefer to take my pension now, and do other work, cos if I go part time in my own job, I will lose out in my pension, which is based on final salary :(
  • hi my name is carol i understand what you are saying my husband was told that he as ddd in april this year and cannot go back to work yet as he is in so much pain and his job means he as to do lots of lifting hes so called work mates look at him if to say that theyre is nothing wrong with him because some time he can be good with no pain the 2 days later the pain is bad for a week he know can only walk for 10 mins and then as to sit i wish i could take the pain away from him so he would be pain free so dony worry what people say just look after your self i am also worried my self about how will we pay our bill but you know what he comes first and that what i say to everyone good luck
  • You are so right, health comes first. I am coming to realisw that by continuing to do my job is damaging my back even more, so I am going to wait and see where this path will lead me. If it leads to early retirement, then so be it, I will just have o claim benefits like lots of other people do and with my pension we should be ok. Money is a worry though, cos those bills don't go away.
    I hope your hubby gets some relief soon, he is lucky to have such an understanding wife.

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