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depression verses fed-up

backpainishellbbackpainishell Posts: 969
edited 06/11/2012 - 7:23 AM in Depression and Coping
Please can someone help me solve a dispute i have going on with my friends . Depression is something i recognise and understand as i used to work in mental heath before all this with my back. I agree when your in pain 24/7 that you can get drepression. But i am just fed-up with being in pain. My friend says im depressed because im always in pain and i disagree with her. so the question i want to ask is, when your in pain 24/7 and fed-up does this mean that you are depressed? Is there a difference ?

Angie x



  • There's a big difference!!!

    Being fed up means that you still get up and show up each morning to greet the day and try like crazy to get through it.

    Depressed, you might not get up or out of bed and wouldn't want to do anything and just want nothing to do with the world in general.

    At least that's my quick analogy.

  • Hiya,

    Thankyou very much thats exactly what i have been telling my friends , but they dont beleve what i am saying. I do get up in the morning , i do put a little make-up on, i do go out as much as i possibly can x

    Angie x
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  • I totally agree with you that there is a big difference between being fed up (aren't we all fed up with pain that goes on and on and on??) and being depressed. To me, being depressed means being unable to manage day to day activities or to feel happiness and joy. Being fed up is just plain being tired of pain, but still going on with life as well as possible. I think being fed up, at least for me, is very much like being frustrated with a situation that is unpleasant and out of control, but it is not the same as being depressed. ~kathleen
  • Angie,

    It seems to me your friends are just concerened for you. A lot of times being fed-up all the time leads to depression. I think they just don't want you to get depressed. Though I have seen people be in denial about being depressed....hard to understand this concept, so stay with me a min. My fiance has a bunch of issues he doesn't even realize. He is finally seeing a therapist but he even tells me she says she thinks he is depressed and he doesn't believe her. He was raised with any and everything emotional is a sign of weakness and means he is less than a man. It is so embedded in him that he doesn't even talk to me about what he is feeling, unless he gets drunk, and he has taken things out on me. A few tims of this and that is what made him realize he needs to get some help. I suspect that he is coming to also understand that he is indeed depressed. He does things that keep him busy so he doesn't deal with or think about things. Maybe your friends see you in this type of manner? They see you always upset about something maybe, and it is just you being fed-up with being in pain, and they take that as being depressed, thinking maybe you just don't realize you are. Only you looking deep inside know if you are.

    May I suggest thinking about what they say since they know you well enough to think you are depressed? If you still feel you aren't, sit them down face to face and try talking to them about how exactly you feel and why you aren't depressed just fed-up for a little while. I know I go through those cycles. I'm just lucky enough to have my best friend have a sciatic (sp?) problem so she knows how it feels to be fed-up! At one point it did lead to her depression, but she got through it and is much better now. They love you and just want you to be ok and feel better. Well as always, I write too much. Sorry and I hope some of this helps.
  • I think we can all cycle between being plain ol fed up and depression. Sometimes it's hard for me to tell the difference myself.Having never suffered from depression before my accident I simply didn't know what the signs were and it took my doctor to point it out to me. Now that I'm on an antidepressant I'm back to being fed up...LOL

    Fed up makes me more angry than anything and it's something I just have to deal with. I had an accident cause my injuries and I'm trying to learn how to let the anger go. Since I don't feel so sorry for myself anymore I can focus on being proactive about those issues.

    People do donfuse the issues, especially the ones that don't understand what we go through in our day to day lives. When you have to call and cancel plans with friends often they'll assume that you're blue, not in pain. I agree with SweetyG, talking to them may be the solution to get them to understand the difference.

    Good luck with it. I hope they can come around and get your point of view.

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  • Hiya,
    I have actually suffered depression before, so i would truly know if i were depressed. Its like you say i am in pain 24/7 which i just winge alittle for example i will get up of a chair and hold myback and say " aww my back pain is much worse today". does that quilify me to be depressed? I am one of those people that is open with my friends. i will still say that i am just plain fed-up and not depressed. Thankyou for your reply its nice to read someone elses opinion.

    Angie x
  • Angie,
    Clinically as you probably know chronic pain make us all more susceptible to depression and with that knowledge we should be on guard for all the symptoms, most could be in denial that they are depressed and it is possible to be depressed and not know it. My doctor said it take some time to become depressed and comparable time to recover. That is a good point how much we can function while living with depression and theta threshold of ability to cope will be different for us all.

    That classic symptom of aversion or the words that are not said and the manner of how we say things, and how are perhaps more telling, I think fed up it a stage towards concern and this feeling is understandable when the complexities of living with constant pain continue.

    Perhaps you could write down why you are fed up and work collectively on each element, we need to choose thing that we can have some impact as changing our overall situation is not possible for most. I would certainly initiate some alternative strategy at the fed up stage and by inference what you are doing at present in making you unhappy.

    Any acceptance of living this life is not easy and paramount to the longevity for our mental and physical well-being, the weight of this impact is not always apparent and clearer on reflection as to the mighty task we endure and survive every day. We need periodic re-evaluation, you are doing a fantastic job in difficult circumstances and that must be very hard, how do you manage it all.

    Take care, a great question, the implication we will all have to master eventually.

    Bye John

  • Hiya,
    Thankyou for your reply i really do think i am just plain fed-up and not depressed. I enjoy life to the full as much as i can. i love to bring other people up when they are down. anyway thankyou for your reply x

    Angie x
  • Hiya john,
    Thankyou for your reply, and i understand what you are saying. I do feel that friends and family do judge me unduly. I have taken on board what you are saying, again thankyou for your reply.

    Angie x
  • Hi again,

    I've been thinking about this very interesting thread and wanted to post again because it is such an important issue. As I thought about it, I realized that being fed up and being depressed are very close and often cross paths. My experience with pain and my emotional reaction to pain is different just about every day. The pain is always there at some level and most of the time I just accept it and go on with life. That is when I feel the best, emotionally. When I'm fed up with the pain and what it does to my life, I get angry and fight to keep pain from winning. That gives me a kind of energy that feels fairly positive but never lasts very long. As soon as I give in and let the pain "win", the energy goes away and the feelings of depression start to seep in around the edges. That's when I begin to withdraw from life in general and people in particular. So far I have been able to pull myself away from depression and from being totally fed up by concentrating on the good things in life, but it is an ongoing struggle that is a bit like being on a roller coaster. I believe the secret to living with chronic pain is acceptance, but that is a difficult goal to achieve.
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