It took me an hour to get out of bed this morning. My body hurt so bad. I let my son play in the crib, until he said he was hungry, and forced myself to get up.
I feel like I am getting worse. I have tremendous pain in both hips. I feel like I can barely walk. I got my son breakfast. Doughnuts and milk. That's a well rounded meal.
He ate all the chocolate off the doughnut, and said he was done. So I get off the couch, take him out of the highchair. Now he has to go potty. The potty chair is in the tub. I can't climb over the baby gate, and I can't bend down to open it. I don't know why my hips are hurting so bad.
I get the potty chair, and take off his jammies. After potty, I get him dressed, and he asks for his sticker. The prize he gets for using the potty. But the stickers are up on the top shelf. I ask him to wait till I finish my coffee. And he does.
I get him his sticker, and sit back on the couch. Oops, he spilled his milk. All over the highchair, and all over the carpet. Now I have to face the baby gate again, to get a towel. If I had done the dishes last night, I would have had a sippy cup with a lid, and he wouldn't have spilled.
I'm feeling pretty worthless as a Mom this morning. My husband got home from work at 8 this morning with the doughnuts. He gets out of bed, and offers to take over, so I can get more sleep. But I don't need more sleep. I need less pain. I tell him its ok, and to go back to bed. I'm fine. But I'm not.
I don't know why I'm getting so down on myself lately. I don't know why I can't cook dinner anymore, or wash the dishes. I don't remember the last time I actually MADE breakfast. I used to cook every morning. I loved that about me.
I'm just tired I guess... of hurting all the time. Up down, up down. Maybe I should go on an antidepressant. These mood swings can't be normal... do you think this is from going off of ultram?
My son is calling me. Time to go climb mount baby gate again...
Thanks for listening guys,